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But I took Contrapagan's post to be more like..."if she's confident enough to ask a guy out, than she wouldn't be doing these crazy things, and besides it's his word against hers."
Confidence starts with how a person views themself, and has nothing to do initially with anyone else. You need to have a positive sense of self, and know how to properly deal with the negative aspects of interpersonal relationships, **such as** being rejected when asking someone out on a date, and have a game plan as to how to deal with such scenarios that won't get you branded as a psychotic wacko. That all needs to happen before a person can consider entering into an interpersonal relationship, such as dating, with another person.
This girl in question here doesn't have that. Not even close. She's put all of her eggs into one basket (the OP's son), and is trying to force a relationship after he told her he's not interested. When he said "no" she should have backed right off, let well enough alone, licked her wounds in private, and focused her energy in another direction, preferably not towards another person. Instead, she is being an aggressive bully, and she crossed the line by engaging in a physical attack.
Considering the fact that he had a witness present when she attacked him with the mace, it's hardly going to be a "he said, she said" case. Hopefully they have saved all of the notes, gifts, and what-not, because that will be further proof that she is being the aggressor.
I've said for a long time that we as a society need to get off of this idea that women are fragile little flowers incapable of doing real harm, including physical. That is pure BS x infinity. And female aggressiveness is anything but attractive.
Last edited by ContraPagan; 12-07-2017 at 02:19 PM..
Anyone who was treated in the ER for "mace" would know the difference - mace is illegal to obtain and extremely destructive to eyes and facial tissues, and pepperspray is legal and somewhat painful but doesn't cause any lasting injury.
Mace is no longer used. Today, police and individuals use oleoresen capsecum pepper spray
Due to the potentially toxic nature of CN and the generally superior incapacitating qualities of oleoresin capsicum (OC) pepper spray in most situations, the early CN has been mostly supplanted by OC formulas in police use, although Mace Security International still retains a popular "Triple Action" formula combining CN, OC and an ultraviolet marker dye.
Boy Kapi sounds so much like your defending this young confident brave fearless well-rounded young girl, and blaming those narcissistic mean boys just mocking her and spreading around school what a loser she is.
the only reason I can side with her is because of<delete> reaching out to old friends, learning of their ordeals being a teenager, and remembering how things worked in HS. peer pressure is real.
Did most people on this board forget that when little girls like someone, they do the most they can to be a part of a boys life, to get attention?even if it means pestering them, or making life hell for it? any interaction is better than none.
all these loose and un trained emotions, and the level of violence it has hit, in the OPs description, is an exception.
In my experience, it was a early bloomer big girl, with raging hormones, built like a woman at 15. Ready to date, with big dreams. She chased me, even though I was honest and told her no, not my type. Persistent girl, knew where I was all day. She could not control her emotions, at certain times of the month. I would get called out and bullied, and replied with wise cracks and calling her "Ho!" She was actually going around the school telling people I belong to her. Fortunately for me, my friend was really digging her, and became the center of her attention.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 12-08-2017 at 09:34 AM..
Reason: deleted FB reference..see sticky rule
the only reason I can side with her is because of facebook, and reaching out to old friends, learning of their ordeals being a teenager, and remembering how things worked in HS. peer pressure is real.
Did most people on this board forget that when little girls like someone, they do the most they can to be a part of a boys life, to get attention?even if it means pestering them, or making life hell for it? any interaction is better than none.
all these loose and un trained emotions, and the level of violence it has hit, in the OPs description, is an exception.
In my experience, it was a early bloomer big girl, with raging hormones, built like a woman at 15. Ready to date, with big dreams. She chased me, even though I was honest and told her no, not my type. Persistent girl, knew where I was all day. She could not control her emotions, at certain times of the month. I would get called out and bullied, and replied with wise cracks and calling her "Ho!" She was actually going around the school telling people I belong to her. Fortunately for me, my friend was really digging her, and became the center of her attention.
Except you have no idea what else this girl did. You are making 498 assumptions about what may or may not have happened.
What we do know? She ATTACKED him to the point he needed to go to the hospital for medical care.
There are ZERO REASONS that is acceptable. None. So stop saying that yes, it would be OK because XYZ. It's NOT OK.
Macing someone in the face is not a way to get them to LIKE you. /facepalm/
I find it stunning the lengths people will go to in excusing bad behavior from girls IF the target is a boy.
If this had been a situation between girls and was a mean girls rebuff of some sort, every poster would be fuming. Since the target was a boy, it's like some cannot see that the girl is WRONG. It's just mindboggling.
Like it's OK to harm boys ... because they are MALE. And since a male is involved the poor hapless girl just *forgets* right from worng and her behavior must be excused .. because she is a GIRL.
There's this dichotomy that is ever prevalent in female altercations.
1. She is strong independent, in the right, the person had it coming, and don't mess with her ... because she is always right because she is female.
OR
2. She is helpless, hapless victim, had no control of herself, was forced into it, had no other options/what was she supposed to do, and bears zero responsibility for her actions ... forgive her because she is female.
Either way she bears no consequences for her actions.
There's this dichotomy that is ever prevalent in female altercations.
1. She is strong independent, in the right, the person had it coming, and don't mess with her ... because she is always right because she is female.
OR
2. She is helpless, hapless victim, had no control of herself, was forced into it, had no other options/what was she supposed to do, and bears zero responsibility for her actions ... forgive her because she is female.
Either way she bears no consequences for her actions.
And there are a LOT of females who start off being #1 and then switching to #2 when their MO blows up in their face and they wind up facing the consequences. They try playing a man's game (aggressive, Type A Alpha) and then try to step back into "being a woman" (weak and submissive, easily taken advantage of and manipulated) when they realize they are in over their head.
Just, FYI. The girl may have some mental issues. My son is on the autism spectrum but doing very well and maturity has helped.
I've met a few girls on the spectrum, while they outwardly seem normal (this is the same for boys too) they lack insight on how to handle social situations and add hormones into the mix and it can get difficult. I'm not saying that's what this is but a outside possibility, or could just as well be a crazy girl. Anyway with the autism spectrum disorder they really sometimes have trouble with boundaries and how to approach someone in a social situation. Throw some crazy crush on your son into the mix it could explain some issues. But maybe not.
A knock on the parents door by the police to talk about the "situation" may be a wake up call to the parents that their girls needs some serious counseling whether autism spectrum or not.
Also, autism spectrum has many different levels and they can be brilliant outgoing people, but sometimes awkward. Think of brilliant scientists with poor social skills and qwerty demeanor.
Just, FYI. The girl may have some mental issues. My son is on the autism spectrum but doing very well and maturity has helped.
I've met a few girls on the spectrum, while they outwardly seem normal (this is the same for boys too) they lack insight on how to handle social situations and add hormones into the mix and it can get difficult. I'm not saying that's what this is but a outside possibility, or could just as well be a crazy girl. Anyway with the autism spectrum disorder they really sometimes have trouble with boundaries and how to approach someone in a social situation. Throw some crazy crush on your son into the mix it could explain some issues. But maybe not.
A knock on the parents door by the police to talk about the "situation" may be a wake up call to the parents that their girls needs some serious counseling whether autism spectrum or not.
Also, autism spectrum has many different levels and they can be brilliant outgoing people, but sometimes awkward. Think of brilliant scientists with poor social skills and qwerty demeanor.
And that means what exactly? That her actions are OK because she may or may not be autistic?
See #2 above.
(Could you imagine if a boy got mace, stalked/tracked down a girl, confronted her, and then maced her in the face, and then had people say, hey he's probably autistic, that's why he did it?? Me neither.)
Last edited by newtovenice; 12-08-2017 at 10:27 AM..
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