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Welcome the young lady into your celebration and allow your young man to attend hers.
Your son is entering a new phase in his journey to adulthood. There are going to be lots of "shared" holidays in his future and your disapproval will not be good.
While I wouldn't want him to be MIA for the entire day, I see no reason why he can't spend a couple of hours with her and her family. Why would you deny him the opportunity to share the celebration?
She may not be important to you but she is to him. Merry Christmas.
That would be one of the worst ideas I have ever heard.
Why would the lady want to go to the guy's family's celebration without the guy?
Nothing can ruin a holiday faster than a pouting teen. Find a way to work it out OP. Not all day, but certainly a few hours is reasonable. And tell him/her that the object of their affections is welcome to come by your home too.
I'm not giving into someone because they pout. Way to show you have no authority.
3 months in your son's world is longer than in yours, in his perspective. I feel you should be happy that your son wants his girlfriend to be a part of your family celebration or that she wants to include him in hers.
Why don't you give him a reward for making it 3 whole months with 1 girl while you're at it?
It's not unheard of for childhood sweethearts to end up partners later in life, too. Might as well start off on the right foot with the kid's significant other, just in case, even if they are only 15. Plus it builds patterns for future relationships. Would you rather your son tried to keep you from getting to know the people he dates?
If they end up marrying, I'm sure the adult selves will understand why everyone did not assume every 15 year old relationship was not treated as a marriage.
If you say no, you will push your teen away. Know this. They aren't children. They're teens. They're transitioning into adults. There will be many shared holidays. Why not start now? The girlfriend is important to him.
Don't keep them apart. That's a losing battle. A few hours isn't going to hurt anything. It's not like something is happening from the moment everyone gets up until everyone goes to bed. There's lots of downtime and teens are bored. Save everyone from misery and learn to compromise. A few hours isn't a big deal.
NO! NO! NO!
So much misinformation here.
I'm not giving into their every whim so I don't push them away.
Screw what's important to him. His friends are important to him too. Does every friend need an invite?
He should be able to spend ONE day away from his girlfriend.
Oh wow, heaven forbid a teen is bored. Why not hire a clown to entertain him 24/7?
Kids need to learn how to fill down time without whining.
If he's so bored, he can go help with the cooking.
You want your "family/closest friends" around but would deny your son the same thing? This is almost chilling and does not bode well for that time five, ten or more years from now when your son has a partner and you still want to draw lines in the sand.
The friends that get Christmas invites are 10-20-year friends.
Unless the girl was friends since they were 5, automatic no.
Ask the kid today to name his three closest friends. Guaranteed the "girlfriend" is on the list. The relationship may only be three months old but he may have known her since kindergarten.
A holiday is supposed to celebrate long-term bonds.
If a girl asks the guy out 3 days before Christmas, I'm sure the girl makes the list.
It is a good way to start learning to be flexible. When the kids leave home, you want them to feel totally comfortable bringing significant others and then their family to your home because it is a welcoming place. If you share them a little now, it will help you (and them) adapt to the in-law issues in the future. Or do you want to be the one that gets the quick hour visit and the in-laws getting the rest of the time?
Good friend's of our have three boys, with three wives and four granddaughters. They switch holidays every year with the inlaws and the kid's love their parents so much that this is a priority for their holiday arrangements. If they were rigid, they might have lost one or all the kids to the in-law celebrations.
Why do I want them to feel totally comfortable bringing anyone over?
We are not a motel.
I don't want to get to know extended families of someone the kid dates for 4 months.
I'd tell him either stay the whole day or don't bother coming.
If you leave early, you're not welcome next year.
Step up and lead a household. Gosh, its not that hard.
You worded your title bass akwards. You are actually asking if it is ok for your son's recent girl/boy friend to spend the holiday at your home?
I'd have the same answer as I posted earlier. It depends on the amount of time, and his/her family's holiday plans.
Have you spent any family time with these two throughout the 3 months? If not, you should. I find it is better to know as much about your teens friends as possible...And I was always the mom that had the after school snacks and things going on at my house....I always liked knowing where my kids were as much as possible.
Maybe if this is a nice young person, and your son really cares about him/her, perhaps find out if his/her parents are working during Christmas, or if they would mind if he/she came and spent Christmas day.
If things were such that it won't interfere, than welcome him/her over. And, enjoy the fact that it was at your house...when your son is older it will be at the SO/spouses house, or shared time....almost guaranteed.
If the parents are working on Christmas, you should just have the son dump the girl right there.
If the family is THAT self absorbed about money to work on Christmas, she's pretty much doomed to actually care about people.
The only exception is if the family needs that money to pay their bills. In that case, yeah you probably should have them over because there is definitely not going to be a celebration at home.
Once the presents are done and dinner is over ,why not?Seriously, isn't that about when everyone has had enough togetherness?............famil y can only go so far.
You see family fly in for a few holidays a year.
Why do they have to share time with someone the kid sees every day?
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