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Old 12-18-2017, 02:50 PM
Status: "Libertarian socialist" (set 10 days ago)
 
27,752 posts, read 18,915,453 times
Reputation: 16325

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LLCNYC View Post
Serving our country vs. partying? Not even close.

I disagree. As long as the child is taken care of, I see no reason why a parent shouldn't take a trip...even for three weeks.
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Old 12-18-2017, 03:13 PM
 
10,006 posts, read 6,092,900 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
I disagree. As long as the child is taken care of, I see no reason why a parent shouldn't take a trip...even for three weeks.
I think 3 weeks is excessive prior to at least middle school. But it would depend on the kid and how comfortable they were with their parents being gone.

If they were with a parent or grandma and grandpa (and very close to them), that is totally different. I wouldn't consider that even leaving them. They are still with a known care provider and would be feeling safe and secure. A few facetime calls and most kids would be ok in that situation.

Leaving them with friends or a sitter...it just seems like that would be hard on the majority of young kids.

I would HATE to be away from my kids for 3 weeks. I would just miss them too much after a week. It wouldn't be much fun.
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Old 12-18-2017, 05:19 PM
 
1,783 posts, read 471,583 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dihseewnrds View Post
My friend has a 5 year old son and she wants to join me and another friend to go party and travel in Europe for 3 weeks.

She is a single mother, so she said she knows a family from her son’s school who said they will look after her son while she is gone.

Do you travel without your children?
Sounds like you and another friend have planned a special and expensive trip and now another friend would like to come along. Perhaps you are uncomfortable and are not sure whether you should try to extricate yourself from what could be a difficult situation?

This trip strikes me as a worst-case scenario for the child not to mention YOU.

First ... the child's age (5 yo). Worse yet he is an only child who won't have the support of siblings. The boy won't be cared for in familiar surroundings (his own home) but in another setting. And then not by relatives with whom he has a long history but by relative strangers.

Next ... the lengthly time period .. the potential for clashes between the son and his school friend during the three weeks. Then add in the overseas location. This is an (expensive) plane trip away. No quick and easy return for a trip abort.

I am a single parent of an only child now college-aged who also loved to travel internationally. No way would I place my daughter into that particular combination of settings. Breaks from her tended to consist of a babysitter and the movies but short domestic trips would have been fine if relatives lived close by. Once I was ready to again travel overseas, my daughter accompanied me. We started about age 8 with a trip to Asia although a 5 yo can be a great traveling companion. Could not the mother visit Europe with the child then "party" domestically?

Now what does what could be a very unhappy child mean for YOUR trip? WiFi is available at every cafe. Perhaps the son could virtually join you for meals?

And bedtime in the US is the middle of the night in Europe. How might that play out? Are you planning on sharing a room with the mother? I would expect that the potential is high for late-night calls or spending time on Skype.

What ARE this woman's plans for handling the communication end? Or does she plan on totally dumping him for three weeks?

You'll be a better person than me if you can keep quiet or remain irritation-free when issues almost certainly arise or if the mother decides she really misses her son for that length of time and derails from there.
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Old 12-18-2017, 07:43 PM
Status: "Libertarian socialist" (set 10 days ago)
 
27,752 posts, read 18,915,453 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
I think 3 weeks is excessive prior to at least middle school. But it would depend on the kid and how comfortable they were with their parents being gone.

If they were with a parent or grandma and grandpa (and very close to them), that is totally different. I wouldn't consider that even leaving them. They are still with a known care provider and would be feeling safe and secure. A few facetime calls and most kids would be ok in that situation.

Leaving them with friends or a sitter...it just seems like that would be hard on the majority of young kids.

I would HATE to be away from my kids for 3 weeks. I would just miss them too much after a week. It wouldn't be much fun.
And some people think a weekend away from kids is excessive. *shrug*

Depending on the timing, reason, and destination, I might love being away or I might hate it. Yes, I miss my kids when I'm away but I also have a hell of a time being ME and being able to do what I want when I want. One week a year.
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Old 12-18-2017, 07:50 PM
 
78 posts, read 31,025 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EveryLady View Post
Sounds like you and another friend have planned a special and expensive trip and now another friend would like to come along. Perhaps you are uncomfortable and are not sure whether you should try to extricate yourself from what could be a difficult situation?

This trip strikes me as a worst-case scenario for the child not to mention YOU.

First ... the child's age (5 yo). Worse yet he is an only child who won't have the support of siblings. The boy won't be cared for in familiar surroundings (his own home) but in another setting. And then not by relatives with whom he has a long history but by relative strangers.

Next ... the lengthly time period .. the potential for clashes between the son and his school friend during the three weeks. Then add in the overseas location. This is an (expensive) plane trip away. No quick and easy return for a trip abort.

I am a single parent of an only child now college-aged who also loved to travel internationally. No way would I place my daughter into that particular combination of settings. Breaks from her tended to consist of a babysitter and the movies but short domestic trips would have been fine if relatives lived close by. Once I was ready to again travel overseas, my daughter accompanied me. We started about age 8 with a trip to Asia although a 5 yo can be a great traveling companion. Could not the mother visit Europe with the child then "party" domestically?

Now what does what could be a very unhappy child mean for YOUR trip? WiFi is available at every cafe. Perhaps the son could virtually join you for meals?

And bedtime in the US is the middle of the night in Europe. How might that play out? Are you planning on sharing a room with the mother? I would expect that the potential is high for late-night calls or spending time on Skype.

What ARE this woman's plans for handling the communication end? Or does she plan on totally dumping him for three weeks?

You'll be a better person than me if you can keep quiet or remain irritation-free when issues almost certainly arise or if the mother decides she really misses her son for that length of time and derails from there.
Hi, ya I have problems with it. I asked the question here because I feel uncomfortable going on a trip with someone who would leave their kid like that. *I* feel guilty about it!
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Old 12-18-2017, 08:12 PM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
9,950 posts, read 2,824,121 times
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I would not leave my kids for 3 weeks with anyone! With that said....my husband and I typically go on an adult only trip once or twice a year for no more than 3 days and my children stay with their grandmother or she comes to our house. We also do a weeks long family vacation and a few weekend family getaways as well.

As a parent of 2 children, I feel it's important for parents to have a few days of alone time, but I would never be away from them longer than that! My husband also travels for work, but that's different and the children are home with me.

3 weeks to go party is ridiculous and IMHO not a good parent!
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Old 12-18-2017, 08:21 PM
Status: "Libertarian socialist" (set 10 days ago)
 
27,752 posts, read 18,915,453 times
Reputation: 16325
Quote:
Originally Posted by CGab View Post
I would not leave my kids for 3 weeks with anyone! With that said....my husband and I typically go on an adult only trip once or twice a year for no more than 3 days and my children stay with their grandmother or she comes to our house. We also do a weeks long family vacation and a few weekend family getaways as well.

As a parent of 2 children, I feel it's important for parents to have a few days of alone time, but I would never be away from them longer than that! My husband also travels for work, but that's different and the children are home with me.

3 weeks to go party is ridiculous and IMHO not a good parent!
Why?
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Old 12-18-2017, 08:31 PM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
9,950 posts, read 2,824,121 times
Reputation: 11412
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
Why?
WHY? Are your serious?

If you feel the need to leave your 5 year old child for 3 weeks to go party, then you really have no right being a parent! At 5 years old child needs their parent to be there for them. It's one thing if you're gone due to work, but to go party? I don't think so, that's a person who should not have a kid! It's one thing going somewhere for a few days, heck even a week, but for THREE WEEKS, I just can't imagine anyone thinking that is an OK thing to do!
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Old 12-19-2017, 04:11 AM
Status: "Libertarian socialist" (set 10 days ago)
 
27,752 posts, read 18,915,453 times
Reputation: 16325
Quote:
Originally Posted by CGab View Post
WHY? Are your serious?

If you feel the need to leave your 5 year old child for 3 weeks to go party, then you really have no right being a parent! At 5 years old child needs their parent to be there for them. It's one thing if you're gone due to work, but to go party? I don't think so, that's a person who should not have a kid! It's one thing going somewhere for a few days, heck even a week, but for THREE WEEKS, I just can't imagine anyone thinking that is an OK thing to do!
Yes, I'm serious. I wouldn't go away that long but I certainly don't believe people who do are people "who should not have a kid!"
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Old 12-19-2017, 06:19 AM
 
2,270 posts, read 1,122,727 times
Reputation: 2419
Yes, every year or so for two weeks. Id do 3 without hesitation. But we always leave our son with grandparents.
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