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I will look for another doctor because it seems like the professional doesn't know how to be a decent human being.
+1
If that was me and that lady called my child "weird" it would have taken all my strength to not lash out on her!!
OP, find another person that is more professional! I understand your daughter likes this individual, but they obviously are very unprofessional and should NOT be working with children! I would also report them to their supervisor for that comment!
She might have meant that she’s "silly" or something similar.
Has she used the word since then? I think you should ask her to define it so that she can describe something she notices about your daughter. If she doesn’t have a good answer, ask her to not use that word as it’s not professional.
She might have meant that she’s "silly" or something similar.
Has she used the word since then? I think you should ask her to define it so that she can describe something she notices about your daughter. If she doesn’t have a good answer, ask her to not use that word as it’s not professional.
It just happened today...so we haven't seen her since. I was at a loss for words when it happened because she was talking to me when I was at the front desk trying to take care of payment and there were other people in the waiting room. She did not say it loudly, because she tries to tell me about how the session went quietly, so as my daughter won't be paying too much attention to what she is saying. It left little room for me to respond and ask what she meant at the time though.
Next appointment ask the OT to define "weird" and grill her until he/she explains in proper terminology exactly what is meant. Ask for examples. Go hard. Then decide from there.
Paying big money should equate to proper terminolgy and an action plan not empty words.
My daughter has been going to OT for a couple months for some sensory issues. She is 4. After the session the therapist tells me what they did and how my child reacted. Today she kept mentioning that my child was “weird” and she has said it before as well. This therapist is young and has no kids so I guess she doesn’t realize that it’s a hurtful thing to say to a parent but it’s also pretty unprofessional. I didn’t really know what to say and I think she gathered that from my face. Yeah my daughter has some quirks which is why she is in OT. To be totally unPC her job is to work with kids that might be considered “weird”. The way she talks about my child it seems like it might not be helping her at all but my child loves to go and asks to go many times when it’s not even her appt day. So I’m considering stopping it since it is a big expense and this lady is rude (but my kid adores her). What would you say and do? Yes I am being butthurt and I am also sick and more emotional right now and don’t want to overreact and say something I’d regret. I need some rational responses, lol.
I would ask her what she meant when she said that your child was "weird". I would decide how to proceed depending on what her answer was. I do think it's an odd thing for her to say in a professional setting and I would be put off if I was in your shoes. If your daughter didn't like her then I'd say just pull her immediately but since she does, it might be worth asking for clarification.
In my limited experience, I believe medical professionals use words like “weird” in a way to connect with patients....not to offend. There has been a lot of movement for professionals to avoid using medical terms and relate better to people. I bet the intention was simply to express/validate your own observations that your daughter’s traits are not mainstream. But, even though it was unintentional, this word upsets you so it is important that you acquire the skill to address the issue. Over the years you will be interacting with many people on your child’s behalf. Its not in your kid’s best interest that you overreact or avoid working through your concerns.
Your child enjoys the therapy, so for now assume its benefiting her.
Contact the doctor’s nurse/office manager and ask that the doctor give you a personal phone call. Tell the doc that you were taken aback by the comment “weird” and that you now wonder if she finds your child considerably atypical. Express your concern if your child is a good match to this therapist, and hear what the response is before you make a decision about continuing sessions or changing to another practitioner.
Nope - not a good enough reason. How about "unusual" to describe something out of the mainstream? That is neutral and nonjudgmental whereas weird can be construed as insulting, as the OP took it. No person who is truly professional would keep using the word "weird" without offering any further explanation.
My daughter has been going to OT for a couple months for some sensory issues. She is 4. After the session the therapist tells me what they did and how my child reacted. Today she kept mentioning that my child was “weird” and she has said it before as well. This therapist is young and has no kids so I guess she doesn’t realize that it’s a hurtful thing to say to a parent but it’s also pretty unprofessional. I didn’t really know what to say and I think she gathered that from my face. Yeah my daughter has some quirks which is why she is in OT. To be totally unPC her job is to work with kids that might be considered “weird”. The way she talks about my child it seems like it might not be helping her at all but my child loves to go and asks to go many times when it’s not even her appt day. So I’m considering stopping it since it is a big expense and this lady is rude (but my kid adores her). What would you say and do? Yes I am being butthurt and I am also sick and more emotional right now and don’t want to overreact and say something I’d regret. I need some rational responses, lol.
I think "weird" could be replaced by another word that has the same meaning. Would you consider a word with a similar meaning just as bad? Couldn't "weird" just mean different than most, in at least one way? That would not necessarily be the biggest insult possible, if it is an insult at all. A person isn't expected to be all-knowing at anytime in their life, let alone at age 4. So if the therapist says "has some quirks", would you feel more comfortable about continuing to have your daughter see this therapist?
Your daughter loves this therapist but you don't. Do you think she's "weird" sounds like you've failed as a parent? I sure hope not as I doubt that is what the therapist was suggesting. Maybe your 4 year old already understands that "weird" doesn't mean worthless. She may actually enjoy being different in some way. Even people who are very different have been rich, famous people who've made the world a little better and went into history books for people to read about centuries later. Best wishes.
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"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
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I would like to have heard her say that in context. I had a PT say to me once that if she herself hadn't done the assessment on my child, she wouldn't have believed it - she's never seen that grouping of strengths and weaknesses in one individual. So if she had said "this is very weird", I would have been accepting of her phraseology.
On the other hand, I had a friend whose baby had low muscle tone and so when you picked him up he seemed heavier than you'd expect, and also like a sack of potatoes. He didn't feel like one unit, more like a disjointed collection of weights. That's what low muscle tone babies feel like. The therapist brought her own child and said my child is normal, see, take him, this is what normal babies feel like when you hold them.
I think "weird" could be replaced by another word that has the same meaning. Would you consider a word with a similar meaning just as bad? Couldn't "weird" just mean different than most, in at least one way? That would not necessarily be the biggest insult possible, if it is an insult at all. A person isn't expected to be all-knowing at anytime in their life, let alone at age 4. So if the therapist says "has some quirks", would you feel more comfortable about continuing to have your daughter see this therapist?
Your daughter loves this therapist but you don't. Do you think she's "weird" sounds like you've failed as a parent? I sure hope not as I doubt that is what the therapist was suggesting. Maybe your 4 year old already understands that "weird" doesn't mean worthless. She may actually enjoy being different in some way. Even people who are very different have been rich, famous people who've made the world a little better and went into history books for people to read about centuries later. Best wishes.
To the bolded...um, yes. She does have some quirks, as do most kids that go to OT. "Weird" in a professional setting is derogatory in the same way that "retard" would be for someone with Down Syndrome. You may be able to extrapolate the meaning, but it's clearly an insult.
And no, I don't think it suggests I've failed as a parent. To me it suggests that this therapist is immature and I question whether SHE likes my child as she could have chosen any number of descriptors besides that one, along with the face she pulled. That is what makes me uncomfortable. My daughter doesn't obviously get this message from her and didn't hear the "weird" comment as she wasn't paying attention to it.
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