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Old 12-27-2017, 01:43 PM
 
671 posts, read 558,615 times
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I used to be military, I should have been more specific. I did not re-enlist, so I could focus on being a father. I wanted to be a dad because I never got to have one.

Yes to "cochristi", that is a very relevant question, and that is initially how it sounds; I want my baby she can have the other 2.

She shouldn't have any of them but, the father of the other 2 says a bunch of BS about his living condition, when if he really cared for them he would put them up with him no matter where he was at. The mom's own family says she can barely handle herself, let alone children...
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Old 12-27-2017, 02:19 PM
 
9,786 posts, read 5,845,892 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RageX View Post
I used to be military, I should have been more specific. I did not re-enlist, so I could focus on being a father. I wanted to be a dad because I never got to have one.

Yes to "cochristi", that is a very relevant question, and that is initially how it sounds; I want my baby she can have the other 2.

She shouldn't have any of them but, the father of the other 2 says a bunch of BS about his living condition, when if he really cared for them he would put them up with him no matter where he was at. The mom's own family says she can barely handle herself, let alone children...
I think going after custody of the step kids would be nearly futile unless you had a rock solid case. But I think going forward a family court would like to see you planning on maintaining a relationship between the children (who are siblings) and the mother. It doesn't seem impossible for you to get full custody with her having visitations (maybe supervised if she is unstable still). But go forward civilly, with your heart and mind wanting the best for your child.
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Old 12-27-2017, 02:22 PM
 
1,676 posts, read 812,279 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RageX View Post
I used to be military, I should have been more specific. I did not re-enlist, so I could focus on being a father. I wanted to be a dad because I never got to have one.

Yes to "cochristi", that is a very relevant question, and that is initially how it sounds; I want my baby she can have the other 2.

She shouldn't have any of them but, the father of the other 2 says a bunch of BS about his living condition, when if he really cared for them he would put them up with him no matter where he was at. The mom's own family says she can barely handle herself, let alone children...
So what happens to the other two kids- will they just get left behind with the unstable mother or put into foster care? Did you not help to take care of his half siblings while both of you were raising your son?
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Old 12-27-2017, 02:35 PM
 
9,786 posts, read 5,845,892 times
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Originally Posted by Ms. Tarabotti View Post
So what happens to the other two kids- will they just get left behind with the unstable mother or put into foster care? Did you not help to take care of his half siblings while both of you were raising your son?
I would guess the OP would love to help out his step children, but the reality is that it would be nearly impossible, legally, to do so. There is a bio father involved, possibly bio relatives as well. If fathers do poorly in court, non-bio parents do worse.

Its possible...and maybe CPS would place the kids with him if they don't have a suitable place to go. It depends on the state if he has any legal rights. The court case would be very difficult.

Of course, we don't have all the details...I am sure there are plenty. But in general, a step parent getting custody would be very rare.
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Old 12-27-2017, 02:56 PM
 
15,312 posts, read 17,313,270 times
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Originally Posted by RageX View Post
I am married but, possibly separated. The wife has 3 kids, 2 of them are stepkids and 1 is my 6-year old boy.

She wanted to leave but basically has become a ward of the city.

I am self-sufficient and have a spotless legal record and decent professional history.

She has a felony conviction for forging a prescription and has been placed in a mental hopsital, twice, buy people that are NOT me. Unfortunately it seems that none of tgat is relevant since I am the father and she is the mother.

My 7 years in the Army, I have heard, seen, or otherwise been exposed to ober 200 cases involving child custody, I have seen 6 work out in the father's favor.

How do I secure full legal and physical custody?
Maybe this link will be helpful. There are likely other organizations that could be helpful too. Good luck to you.....first thing is talk to an attorney....even if it is a free consultation. It does seem as though you have some valid concerns.

FATHERS CUSTODY CENTER
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Old 12-27-2017, 03:10 PM
 
671 posts, read 558,615 times
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The step kids are now 15 and 16, I have been taking care of them since they were 5 and 6. The older stepson acquired CPS attention because he failed his entire first semester of high school, made suicidal statements, led the school staff literally on a chase, got kicked out of that school, then cries to the counselor of his second high school that he wants to be in foster care, even though his school performance is even worse there now that I am out of the picture. His mom can't control him, a 6 year old and, in many cases, herself. Even CPS sees that he is almost dangerously immature and narcissistic. Anybody would reasonably look at that boy who picks his hair, never cuts his nails, backtalks his mom, backtalks some school teachers, does no work at home or school and, stinks because he chooses not to bathe more than once a month and assume we are bad parents.

The stepdaughter on the other hand has good friends, great grades, is well behaved, is a good big sister and everybody tells me that my son is also kind, academically advanced (for his age) and well behaved.

I've lived with the mom and stepson for almost 10 years doing all I can for them but, these are people who both need constant adult supervison basically...

Don't mistake my despair for resignation, I will fight for my son but, if I exhaust all my resources and still don't get custody then I will have failed him almost as much as if I gave up.
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Old 12-27-2017, 03:30 PM
 
Location: interior Alaska
3,485 posts, read 2,657,925 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RageX View Post
How do I secure full legal and physical custody?
This varies so much by state. You need a skilled local lawyer, not a message board.

Generally speaking, if the other parent is in a highly unstable situation unsuitable for raising children, getting primary or even sole physical placement should be straightforward. But in the absence of documented abuse, neglect, or purposeful abandonment, it's an uphill battle to terminate the other parent's legal rights altogether, and rightfully so.
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Old 12-27-2017, 04:51 PM
 
671 posts, read 558,615 times
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Well, I am in contact with a lawyer but, and I hope you all never know this feeling;

That I am not asking a message board solely for intel, although that does come into play, it's a host of other issues, I needed any input. I am ...lonely.

Now, all my bills are good, money saved, car in good condition, decent health, get along with coworkers well enough, the job is easy, I got a tabletop hobby I am good at, and my work schedule is cluttered enough that I am calm. I'm lucky in a lot of ways but, I get real jittery when I'm away from my son and his mom says crazy **** and, all my friends that I known for 20+ years moved like 2 years back and, got no real close relationship... it casts a bit of magnifying glass on me... maybe it's me, maybe it's her, maybe it's both.

...but no matter what, I love my son, he told me, "I love you, Daddy. You my favorite thing in my whole universe life." He is my favorite person too.

To "frostnip", I guess it does seem like I'm trying to circumvent her parental rights, and yes it should be difficult because she has tried to play the "he's a dangerous veteran" card... but my medical and legal records are flawless, where she has records and not just traffic BS either...
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Old 12-27-2017, 05:50 PM
 
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Get a lawyer that specializes in father's rights.

You need it.

Good luck.
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Old 12-27-2017, 06:24 PM
 
Location: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
24,146 posts, read 9,691,082 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RageX View Post
Well, I am in contact with a lawyer but, and I hope you all never know this feeling;

That I am not asking a message board solely for intel, although that does come into play, it's a host of other issues, I needed any input. I am ...lonely.

Now, all my bills are good, money saved, car in good condition, decent health, get along with coworkers well enough, the job is easy, I got a tabletop hobby I am good at, and my work schedule is cluttered enough that I am calm. I'm lucky in a lot of ways but, I get real jittery when I'm away from my son and his mom says crazy **** and, all my friends that I known for 20+ years moved like 2 years back and, got no real close relationship... it casts a bit of magnifying glass on me... maybe it's me, maybe it's her, maybe it's both.

...but no matter what, I love my son, he told me, "I love you, Daddy. You my favorite thing in my whole universe life." He is my favorite person too.

To "frostnip", I guess it does seem like I'm trying to circumvent her parental rights, and yes it should be difficult because she has tried to play the "he's a dangerous veteran" card... but my medical and legal records are flawless, where she has records and not just traffic BS either...
Sometimes getting joint custody first is the best way to ultimately get full custody. You would have your son at least 50% of the time, during that time you document everything mom does (or fails to do) i.e. is she there when you return him, is he clean when you pick him up, does his teacher notice a difference during your custodial time, if he has homework is it completed when mom has him?

Also, in most states a child as young as 5 can talk to a mediator or court appointed psychologist and tell them which parent he wants to live with, it's not binding on the court to go along with what the child wants but the court almost always considers it. Once you've built up enough evidence that you are a fit parent and mom isn't you should be able to get full custody.
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