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Old 01-03-2018, 01:12 PM
Status: "The list doesn’t destroy culture; it creates it" (set 21 days ago)
 
Location: Denver CO
17,376 posts, read 8,998,983 times
Reputation: 25005

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If you don't have the money, you don't have the money.

What is your living situation? Can you take her and your grandson in for time, to help her get on her feet? What are her plans for getting out on her own? If she has a place to live, will she go through with getting a job and doing whatever else she needs to be able to support herself and her children?

If her son is getting services, does she have some kind of caseworker? They would help her navigate other services that may also be available to her.

Or even if you were able to house her to start with, she can still reach out to a women's shelter, I'm sure they will help her with referrals and resources even if she's not staying there.
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Old 01-03-2018, 06:48 PM
 
Location: Houston, Texas
1,668 posts, read 3,888,885 times
Reputation: 3010
Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
Can you take her and your grandson in for time, to help her get on her feet?
I'd be careful with that....she sounds like the type who'd move in "temporarily" with both kids and expect Grandma to babysit while she's out on the town hunting for a Daddy for baby number three.

Would she ever move out?
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Old 01-03-2018, 06:54 PM
Status: "The list doesn’t destroy culture; it creates it" (set 21 days ago)
 
Location: Denver CO
17,376 posts, read 8,998,983 times
Reputation: 25005
Quote:
Originally Posted by LizzySWW View Post
I'd be careful with that....she sounds like the type who'd move in "temporarily" with both kids and expect Grandma to babysit while she's out on the town hunting for a Daddy for baby number three.

Would she ever move out?
I know, that's definitely a risk. And OP may not have the room for it to happen. But I wouldn't let my child and grandchild live in a shelter if it was in my power to prevent.
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Old 01-07-2018, 01:21 PM
 
4,758 posts, read 4,549,965 times
Reputation: 10883
What a terrible and difficult situation. I’m sending you good karma.

I’m terms of your daughter, on the one hand I can’t see how it’s a good idea to give her $ and on the other hand how can you (as a mother) not do all you can to help her get out of an abusive relationship. It’s easy for us to say you would be enabling her but I totally get how you almost must. Rather than giving her $, perhaps you can help by allowing her to move in with you. Then maybe she can find work? I don’t know.

I wish you the best of luck.
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Old 01-07-2018, 01:27 PM
 
Location: DFW - Coppell / Las Colinas
29,040 posts, read 33,331,423 times
Reputation: 34391
Abortion?
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Old 01-07-2018, 06:32 PM
 
238 posts, read 138,751 times
Reputation: 463
Quote:
Originally Posted by deeken View Post
Damn OP. Sucks to be you.
Oh gee thanks deekan. So encouraging.
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Old 01-07-2018, 06:45 PM
 
238 posts, read 138,751 times
Reputation: 463
Thanks once again for all your replies. It confirmed my belief of not giving her money. I will, however, help her in any way I can to help her seek services that would be to her benefit.

My grandson won't be able to stay in a shelter. I think I mentioned that before.

She isn't able to stay with me because she lives in one state, and I live across the border in another. My grandson school is where my daughter lives.

I'm confident things will work out. She already has started seeking out help.
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Old 01-10-2018, 01:22 PM
 
Location: Camberville
11,170 posts, read 15,569,805 times
Reputation: 17389
Is there any way you could take just your grandson for a time?

I don't want to frighten you, but I am exceptionally concerned about her living with an abusive partner while pregnant with another man's child. If he is physically abusive or has the potential to become so, both she and your grandson's lives could be in danger. Does he know he is not the father?

You are absolutely right to not give her the money, but staying in that house is a far worse option than staying in a shelter - autism or no.

Last edited by charolastra00; 01-10-2018 at 01:33 PM..
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Old 01-10-2018, 01:25 PM
 
Location: planet earth
1,528 posts, read 541,958 times
Reputation: 3820
How can her boyfriend be "adorable" and a drinker and abuser at the same time?

If you don't want to "lend" her money, don't.

You owe your adult daughter nothing!

Don't let her manipulate you.

Take care of yourself first, then IF you want to gift her anything, do - if you don't, don't.
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Old 01-10-2018, 05:35 PM
 
238 posts, read 138,751 times
Reputation: 463
Nobody’s business. My grandson is adorable. Not his father.
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