U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-03-2018, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
19,053 posts, read 10,079,571 times
Reputation: 27889

Advertisements

If you don't have the money, you don't have the money.

What is your living situation? Can you take her and your grandson in for time, to help her get on her feet? What are her plans for getting out on her own? If she has a place to live, will she go through with getting a job and doing whatever else she needs to be able to support herself and her children?

If her son is getting services, does she have some kind of caseworker? They would help her navigate other services that may also be available to her.

Or even if you were able to house her to start with, she can still reach out to a women's shelter, I'm sure they will help her with referrals and resources even if she's not staying there.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-03-2018, 06:48 PM
 
Location: Houston, Texas
1,668 posts, read 3,950,944 times
Reputation: 3011
Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
Can you take her and your grandson in for time, to help her get on her feet?
I'd be careful with that....she sounds like the type who'd move in "temporarily" with both kids and expect Grandma to babysit while she's out on the town hunting for a Daddy for baby number three.

Would she ever move out?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-03-2018, 06:54 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
19,053 posts, read 10,079,571 times
Reputation: 27889
Quote:
Originally Posted by LizzySWW View Post
I'd be careful with that....she sounds like the type who'd move in "temporarily" with both kids and expect Grandma to babysit while she's out on the town hunting for a Daddy for baby number three.

Would she ever move out?
I know, that's definitely a risk. And OP may not have the room for it to happen. But I wouldn't let my child and grandchild live in a shelter if it was in my power to prevent.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-07-2018, 01:21 PM
 
5,026 posts, read 4,839,646 times
Reputation: 11691
What a terrible and difficult situation. I’m sending you good karma.

I’m terms of your daughter, on the one hand I can’t see how it’s a good idea to give her $ and on the other hand how can you (as a mother) not do all you can to help her get out of an abusive relationship. It’s easy for us to say you would be enabling her but I totally get how you almost must. Rather than giving her $, perhaps you can help by allowing her to move in with you. Then maybe she can find work? I don’t know.

I wish you the best of luck.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-07-2018, 01:27 PM
 
Location: DFW - Coppell / Las Colinas
29,968 posts, read 34,568,659 times
Reputation: 35968
Abortion?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-07-2018, 06:32 PM
 
Location: Florida
318 posts, read 189,931 times
Reputation: 550
Quote:
Originally Posted by deeken View Post
Damn OP. Sucks to be you.
Oh gee thanks deekan. So encouraging.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-07-2018, 06:45 PM
 
Location: Florida
318 posts, read 189,931 times
Reputation: 550
Thanks once again for all your replies. It confirmed my belief of not giving her money. I will, however, help her in any way I can to help her seek services that would be to her benefit.

My grandson won't be able to stay in a shelter. I think I mentioned that before.

She isn't able to stay with me because she lives in one state, and I live across the border in another. My grandson school is where my daughter lives.

I'm confident things will work out. She already has started seeking out help.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-10-2018, 01:22 PM
 
Location: Camberville
11,404 posts, read 16,012,641 times
Reputation: 18068
Is there any way you could take just your grandson for a time?

I don't want to frighten you, but I am exceptionally concerned about her living with an abusive partner while pregnant with another man's child. If he is physically abusive or has the potential to become so, both she and your grandson's lives could be in danger. Does he know he is not the father?

You are absolutely right to not give her the money, but staying in that house is a far worse option than staying in a shelter - autism or no.

Last edited by charolastra00; 01-10-2018 at 01:33 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-10-2018, 01:25 PM
 
Location: planet earth
2,935 posts, read 1,029,830 times
Reputation: 6677
How can her boyfriend be "adorable" and a drinker and abuser at the same time?

If you don't want to "lend" her money, don't.

You owe your adult daughter nothing!

Don't let her manipulate you.

Take care of yourself first, then IF you want to gift her anything, do - if you don't, don't.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-10-2018, 05:35 PM
 
Location: Florida
318 posts, read 189,931 times
Reputation: 550
Nobody’s business. My grandson is adorable. Not his father.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top