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Old 01-07-2018, 01:37 PM
 
9,786 posts, read 5,845,892 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
I think that it something that should be routinely offered to younger women who need to undergo cancer treatment, the same way young men might be advised to store sperm.

I also think that it should be an option for other women who want to keep their options open if they aren't ready to try to conceive at an earlier age with more optimal fertility. Nothing is a guarantee, of course, but 25 year old eggs are a whole lot more likely to work than that same woman's eggs at 45 or even 35.

It's no more invasive that doing IVF, but if a woman is proactive and does it at an earlier age, she's more likely to have success. And it also provides an option for women who haven't met a man they want to have children with yet.
I agree it has its place and I am fine with people choosing to do it if they want for what ever reason. But as to the bolded...have you done IVF? I have. Its an extremely difficult thing to go through. Emotionally it might be a bit easier because you aren't hoping a pregnancy is the end result. But physically its *a lot*. I think its worth it in some situations, but I also think its being over sold to people who don't need it.
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Old 01-07-2018, 02:56 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
16,149 posts, read 8,419,103 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
I agree it has its place and I am fine with people choosing to do it if they want for what ever reason. But as to the bolded...have you done IVF? I have. Its an extremely difficult thing to go through. Emotionally it might be a bit easier because you aren't hoping a pregnancy is the end result. But physically its *a lot*. I think its worth it in some situations, but I also think its being over sold to people who don't need it.
It's not for you to say who "needs" it. You were ready to try to conceive with your husband, so IVF made sense to you.

A woman who knows that she wants to be a mother but doesn't have a husband or male partner has different options to choose from than you did. Egg freezing could very well be what she "needs" in order to preserve her future chances of being able to conceive and bear children.

And she's not going to be exempt from the emotional aspects just because the process is more attenuated for her before she gets to find out if a pregnancy results or not.
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Old 01-07-2018, 05:35 PM
 
Location: Bay Area, CA
26,519 posts, read 41,935,895 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
I think that it something that should be routinely offered to younger women who need to undergo cancer treatment, the same way young men might be advised to store sperm.
Pretty sure it is. I knew a girl who was advised to store her eggs, after being diagnosed with ovarian cancer (and before starting chemo). Sadly they were too damaged by that point, and she ended up passing away about 2 years later.

But it was offered, so I think it's standard for doctors to suggest!
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Old 01-08-2018, 09:17 AM
 
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https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q...DC59&FORM=VIRE
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Old 01-08-2018, 09:21 AM
 
737 posts, read 342,595 times
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Another option is to be child free. Let your brothers and sisters reproduce your chromosomes. Borrow the kids then give them back when their manners start to wear off. Be magic fairy god aunt that grants their wishes. You don't have to buy $200 tennis shoes or pay for college educations. You get off scot free while your siblings do all the work. Its much cheaper too. I am married by the way.
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Old 01-08-2018, 09:56 AM
 
Location: Denver CO
16,149 posts, read 8,419,103 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nurse Bishop View Post
Another option is to be child free. Let your brothers and sisters reproduce your chromosomes. Borrow the kids then give them back when their manners start to wear off. Be magic fairy god aunt that grants their wishes. You don't have to buy $200 tennis shoes or pay for college educations. You get off scot free while your siblings do all the work. Its much cheaper too. I am married by the way.
Being child free is a great choice for someone who doesn't want to be a parent. But someone who wants to get pregnant and have a child but doesn't get to isn't childfree, they are infertile. Your comment is thoughtless and rude to presume that your freely entered into choice is the same thing as being denied a much desired status because of age and/or medical issues.
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Old 01-08-2018, 10:35 AM
 
816 posts, read 486,253 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
I actually wonder what would be the thought process behind it.

Egg stim and retrieval is EXPENSIVE and takes a lot out of you. Its a 6 week process (or it used to be) of shots, hormones, blood tests, frequent doctors appointments. The hormones essentially take you through the worst hormonal times in ones life, including inducing menopause for a time with all the fun side effects of that. In my experience, it was hard to nearly impossible to live even a slightly normal life during those times. But I am sensitive to hormones.

Then storing the eggs costs yearly, and its not cheep at all. I guess it depends but we stored embryos and it was over 1k a year for each vial.

When do you decide? When you are 25 and have a 10 year plan? Plans change. When you are 34 and worried about your potential fertility in the future (note the video I posted above)?

And then the science behind ART is changing fairly rapidly, I would wonder about that.

I guess I just wonder how someone is so sure they want to freeze their eggs with the pain, cost and disruption to their lives. I am sure some people do know, choose to do it and are happy with their decision. I just cant come close to applying it to my own life where it would make sense for me.
A close childhood friend is considering this and will likely go through with it. It isnt all that dramatic. She has done well with her career and has few obligations. She can afford it. All of us (her friends) have kids. As teens and young adults she was the most kid-friendly and motherly among us. We all assumed she’d start a family first.

She had a (ridiculously) long time fiancé once that eventually got cold feet precisely at the thought of making things official and starting a family. She now has another relationship with a fiancé that is younger than her and has made it clear that while he wants to marry her, he is not starting a family right away. I say red flag, she says age difference. Okay.

So, she wants to freeze her eggs for that time when youngin decides he wants to start a family. She is still young but has 4-6 more child bearing years left..and even those will be considered higher risk. She knows other fertility strategies may be in her future and understands she may not have trouble at all regardless of age. As a practical person, she wants to up the odds.

The shots beforehand aren’t unlike those that women that donate eggs or pursue in-vitro have to go through. I say if she cant handle those, she cant handle pregnancy either. She is willing to handle both.

So for those that cant imagine a scenario where one would consider this, here you go.
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Old 01-08-2018, 11:44 AM
 
Location: Arkansas
3,837 posts, read 1,292,483 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
Being child free is a great choice for someone who doesn't want to be a parent. But someone who wants to get pregnant and have a child but doesn't get to isn't childfree, they are infertile. Your comment is thoughtless and rude to presume that your freely entered into choice is the same thing as being denied a much desired status because of age and/or medical issues.
I agree with you.


(Also, I have to wonder why the childfree post on a parenting board, but that's another topic).
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Old 01-08-2018, 05:50 PM
 
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I think it's a smart idea if you know that eventually you would want kids. My sister and co worker both froze their eggs. They are both married and are focused on their careers. A few years down the line they both want kids. It's easier to have a baby with 30 year old eggs as oppose to 37+.
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Old 01-08-2018, 07:03 PM
 
9,786 posts, read 5,845,892 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BLDSoon View Post
A close childhood friend is considering this and will likely go through with it. It isnt all that dramatic. She has done well with her career and has few obligations. She can afford it. All of us (her friends) have kids. As teens and young adults she was the most kid-friendly and motherly among us. We all assumed she’d start a family first.

She had a (ridiculously) long time fiancé once that eventually got cold feet precisely at the thought of making things official and starting a family. She now has another relationship with a fiancé that is younger than her and has made it clear that while he wants to marry her, he is not starting a family right away. I say red flag, she says age difference. Okay.

So, she wants to freeze her eggs for that time when youngin decides he wants to start a family. She is still young but has 4-6 more child bearing years left..and even those will be considered higher risk. She knows other fertility strategies may be in her future and understands she may not have trouble at all regardless of age. As a practical person, she wants to up the odds.

The shots beforehand aren’t unlike those that women that donate eggs or pursue in-vitro have to go through. I say if she cant handle those, she cant handle pregnancy either. She is willing to handle both.

So for those that cant imagine a scenario where one would consider this, here you go.
I see no issue with your friend doing it. I believe in reproductive freedom. I was just pointing out some pitfalls of it because I have been through stim and retrieval 5 times...it isn't easy. And I don't think you will be in the position to judge how hard it is if it isn't you or your partner. None the less, if one feels its important and is motivated to do it, it is worth it. I wont ever say it isn't. I just think its being over-sold by fertility clinics.

Money alone it is 15-20k. Most people don't have that kind of money to play with, esp if it isn't necessary. I just feel like...women are being sold on the procedure that don't need it. So it can be a waste to some. But again, if that is what they want, I am not going to poo-poo it.
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