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Old Yesterday, 04:50 PM
 
13,767 posts, read 14,663,220 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BLDSoon View Post
I agree.

I wonder if any one of the pearl clutchers upthread noticed that the kid was not the least bit repentant of whatever got his dad so worked up. Most kids burst into a chorus of apologies and negotiating when access to something they love is about to be compromised over something they did.

But even with the sledgehammer in hand and the dad clearly incredibly mad at him; It was still not his, but the teacher’s fault. Defiant to the end. The only thing that got emotion from him was the thought of destroying his beloved xbox. I have a feeling if he had shown that same remorse about his actions, there’d be one less video on you tube.

So some see a devious bully, i see a dad at the end of his rope that probably wishes he never bought the thing in the first place. He needs better conflict resolution skills but i’m not as incensed as some are about his poor judgement.
Pearl Clutcher here. If a parent is at the end of his rope, he needs to step back, take a breath, and reassess. I know kids can push your last button--my daughter pushed all of mine and often at the same time. But this dad lost sight of what he was trying to teach his son and acted out of anger and frustration. That's no way to parent. We all lose it from time to time, but this guy must have been proud of losing it because he posted it on social media.

By all means, take the thing away if it's keeping the kid from doing his homework. But the violence destruction and public airing of it are too much.
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Old Yesterday, 05:11 PM
 
747 posts, read 431,608 times
Reputation: 969
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow View Post
Pearl Clutcher here. If a parent is at the end of his rope, he needs to step back, take a breath, and reassess. I know kids can push your last button--my daughter pushed all of mine and often at the same time. But this dad lost sight of what he was trying to teach his son and acted out of anger and frustration. That's no way to parent. We all lose it from time to time, but this guy must have been proud of losing it because he posted it on social media.

By all means, take the thing away if it's keeping the kid from doing his homework. But the violence destruction and public airing of it are too much.
Believe me i agree that he made a poor decision; probably one of many. I don't think his kid is all that sympathetic either. His attitude towards the whole thing rubs me the wrong way. Maybe he learned from his dad, i dont know.

Its just not the worst thing a parent ever did in the history of parenting like some here are acting like it is. Most of the rage is directed at him asking his kid to destroy the console not even the fact that he posted it online which is more egregious imho.

It probably wouldn’t make a top 100 list if someone bothered to make one.
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Old Yesterday, 05:38 PM
 
9,281 posts, read 5,342,639 times
Reputation: 20720
Quote:
Originally Posted by BLDSoon View Post
Believe me i agree that he made a poor decision; probably one of many. I don't think his kid is all that sympathetic either. His attitude towards the whole thing rubs me the wrong way. Maybe he learned from his dad, i dont know.

Its just not the worst thing a parent ever did in the history of parenting like some here are acting like it is. Most of the rage is directed at him asking his kid to destroy the console not even the fact that he posted it online which is more egregious imho.

It probably wouldn’t make a top 100 list if someone bothered to make one.
The kid just needs to be listened to. Like really heard. I could hear it in his voice. He was making excuses and blaming people, but really he needs a safe person to talk to. His dad is clearly not that person.
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Old Yesterday, 05:49 PM
 
2,687 posts, read 989,137 times
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I'm guessing this kid is in 4th grade. When you have a 4th grader whose grades are poor, you put aside a specific hour of time in the evening at the kitchen table where he can work on that day's work with a parent in earshot to help out with questions or confusion. You check and see if he has any homework, and during that time he can work on that too. And you send a note/meet with the teacher to tell her you're insisting he improve his grades and please send work home that he didn't seem to understand you'll reinforce it at home.

That is, if you want the grades to improve.

If you just want revenge, you make an edict that the child improve his grades and then check in 3 weeks and then record him smashing his xbox in tears at your command, and then you post it online.
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Old Yesterday, 06:59 PM
 
9,281 posts, read 5,342,639 times
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Sometimes (always) you can find there is more to the problem with kids. My son makes decent grades but avoids specific types of work like the plague. In so many areas he excels. But one specific area he just dug in and wouldn't do it. After a couple years of his teachers accusing him of being lazy (because he is so smart, why wouldn't he just do his work already!?!?!). I was able to learn to listen to him in a deeper way and found out what was going on from his perspective. I found out he wasn't lazy, and with testing we found a specific issue in his learning and continue to support his learning in all areas with out tormenting him, calling him names, punishing him or spreading the lie that he is lazy.

Can you imagine if I forced him to break his favorite toys because I was too lazy and mean to figure out what was going wrong at school? God only knows where we would be now.

I strongly believe kids don't want to fail and will succeed when given that chance. Maybe for this kid it really was just an xbox/dopamine addiction. Then mom and/or dad could ration the time he is on it, give it out as rewards. And look for other ways for him to get dopamine. Or maybe (just being random) this kid has an anxiety condition and zoning out in front of games was the only time he felt relaxed. Then they could help him learn coping skills for that issue. There are so many reasons he might be doing poorly in school. All reasons need his parents to help him through.

There is nothing about getting bad grades or failing in school that kids like. They will succeed to the best of their ability if given the support to do so...I really believe that.
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Old Yesterday, 07:59 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,633 posts, read 1,213,774 times
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Along with many of the other comments that I agree with concerning why this is a poor tactic (cruelty of public humiliation, broadcasting this on youtube, aggression in the father that raises red flags, etc.), it also seems very wasteful.
There are many good charities that could have used this and if it was taken away, at least it could have been donated to people in need.

Broadcasting it on social media for all to see is especially inappropriate and I also have very little respect for people (sheep) who piously add ridiculous comments to such a video saying things like "it's about time we have some good parenting and raise kids with respect." I mean how is this setting a good example about showing respect?!
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Old Yesterday, 08:05 PM
 
2,687 posts, read 989,137 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jowel View Post
Along with many of the other comments that I agree with concerning why this is a poor tactic (cruelty of public humiliation, broadcasting this on youtube, aggression in the father that raises red flags, etc.), it also seems very wasteful.
There are many good charities that could have used this and if it was taken away, at least it could have been donated to people in need.

Broadcasting it on social media for all to see is especially inappropriate and I also have very little respect for people (sheep) who piously add ridiculous comments to such a video saying things like "it's about time we have some good parenting and raise kids with respect." I mean how is this setting a good example about showing respect?!
I know. I always wonder about adults who enjoy watching parents be cruel to their children. I wonder if they are parents themselves who make these comments, and how they themselves were treated as kids.

Being thrilled when kids are mistreated is concerning.
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Old Yesterday, 08:12 PM
 
Location: NOT in the Land of lollipops & unicorns...I live in reality.
866 posts, read 733,992 times
Reputation: 1358
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnywhereElse View Post
I used to remove everything from my older son's room and take it to the basement as discipline. When he earned it back by doing the "right" thing, and yes, he darn well knew the right thing to do, he got it back. Now, he is 40 year old LTC in the military, and has had a lot of success in the area of doing the right thing.

Putting this on youtube was poor parenting, but the father obviously was not ahead of the problem and lost it.
I have had to do the same with my teen. Once I took his door off his room x almost 2 yrs. I was a 100% involved parent from the day he was brought home (NOT helicopter, just involved) but the minute he began producing testosterone it was "on" between us. If his lips were moving, he was lying, If he got XBox, etc for Christmas he pawned it or traded it for other things with his peers. I set limits and was consistent but he gave me a run for my money for about 8 yrs. I NEVER rewarded bad behavior. I was NEVER his buddy but his parent.
Parents get NO Owner's Manuals when they leave the hospital with a newborn. Mostly, they repeat what they learned from their parents, no matter how warped. We often live far away from our own parents and grand-parents now, so we have little backup. I do NOT agree with this man posting this on YouTube. It is not necessary and serves no purpose. I would not have destroyed the games, but I would have taken them away UNTIL his grades improved. I know for a fact, that kid will never forget the punishment. Maybe his grades will improve, but seeing the number of devices he owned, and thy dad's handling of the situation, I doubt much will change unless the DAD changes.
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Old Yesterday, 08:21 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
5,981 posts, read 7,149,520 times
Reputation: 7067
I'm all for taking away things as punishment, but smashing them, filming it, and putting it on YouTube is going to far. Does anyone else think this kid is pretty pathetic for crying though?
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Old Yesterday, 08:36 PM
 
4,032 posts, read 1,530,297 times
Reputation: 5007
I was afraid the kid would take the sledge hammer to the ‘father’! Scary that the ‘father’ thought this would solve anything. I could only see it causing resentment. Folks, children today are really addicted to these video games. Seriously. It’s scary. Better to use the access to video gaming as an incentive. I always think of the film “Children of Men” when this topic comes up...
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