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I was circumcised. Regardless, I had quite a few painful infections down there when I was a little kid.
I didn't have either of my boys circumcised. Didn't see the point to cut part of them off preemptively.
They used to remove tonsil for the heck of it, they stopped doing that too. I had tonsillitis, and was sick all the time because I never ate. I gained a lot of weight when they were removed. But I would not remove my son's tonsils just because I had an issue at their age.
I just found out that my wife is pregnant with a baby boy and now we have to see if circumcision is the best thing to do (this is why I wanted a girl: they are simply left alone.
A little background, I come from a country where infant circumcision is not common at all, so at least for now I'm not too worried about the medical aspect of it as I know that most guys in my country don't have medical issues because of it. My main concern is that circumcision appears to be standard operating procedure in the US.
Where do you live? The statistics are about 50/50 in certain parts of the country. Circumcision is still more common in certain regions like the Midwest and parts of the Northeast and South. The West Coast has the lowest rates.
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By what I have seen circumcision is a big thing in American culture; I have heard being uncircumcised is very uncommon here.
It is for certain generations when circumcision was routine practice. Less so for younger generations. My eight year old son will be part of the majority where we live as the rates in my area are lower than 50%. However, a lot of men of my generation are circumcised because it was simply routine practice back then. But how things used to be done absolutely didn't shape my decision-making for my own sons. Circumcision was an issue I would not have budged on. I dedicated over a year to researching it 11+ years ago. I knew the data, the history of the practice in the U.S., and the oh-so common horror stories that rely heavily on outdated customs, misinformation and antiquated and ignorant attitudes (e.g., intact penises are ugly and dirty).
My first husband was circumcised and did not feel strongly about either decision until I presented my research. He was completely on board with the decision to not circumcise. I also discussed this issue with my now-husband when we were dating and talking about children. Fortunately, he'd already done the research years before and was just as adamant about not circumcising. (Being on the same page on important issues helps) It just makes no sense to prophylactically remove a functioning part of the body on the off chance a problem could develop in the future. That's why we keep tonsils and our appendix unless there's a reason to remove them. And really, a lot of the horror stories, if they're credible, were from a time when there was a lot of misinformation surrounding the care of an uncircumcised penis. Many problems stemmed from forcibly retracting foreskin, which many caregivers were told to do or had it done by misinformed medical professionals. If 80% of the world's male population can handle basic hygiene practices and care for their intact penis, it shouldn't be that hard for American men, right? It's really just basic hygiene practices. If intact European penises have fared well then American penises should be fine.
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I really want my son to be fully integrated into American culture and never doubt his being an American.
Um, what does a foreskin have to do with being "American" or integrated? You're aware of the history and roots of the practice, right? (outside Jewish practice).
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I really want him to be a part of the mainstream middle-class American culture that I felt I could never really integrate into.
Which varies tremendously based on many factors, especially region. What do you think he's going to do, compare his genitals to other boys? How does foreskin contribute to this integration? I mean, women have foreskin, the prepuce, that is removed in certain cultures, it's one of several types of female circumcision. It is the equivalent to infant circumcision in the U.S., and yet I don't think most women are concerned about their prepuce or even other anatomy "matching" their peers. It's anatomy that serves a purpose. "Matching" should not be a concern at all.
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Would getting him circumcised be very important in order for him to be able to fit into mainstream middle-class American culture? I repeat it is one of my main goals for him to be able to do this, therefore any type of advice for me to be able to accomplish this with him is appreciated.
In what way would his genitals allow him to "fit in"? How many dudes go around ogling other dudes' genitals? The U.S. has quite a few outdated customs based on flimsy data and a crapton of religious propaganda and nonsense. The rest of the industrialized world understands this. Consider the history and roots of its routine practice in the U.S. and the current data and research that other developed countries have been fully aware of for decades.
Thanks to everyone to all the responses you all have given me a lot to think about. As far as the people questioning why I am asking for advice from people on the internet, it is because I don't have anyone close to me that can really give me an informed opinion and I also want to get different perspectives.
I might be leaning more towards not having it done, as by what some people have said it seems it is not completely imperative to do as an American. I just had a lot of bad experiences growing up and I really want to do everything possible for my son to grow up more confident than I did and to feel completely American and never question it.
I live in Texas by the way for the person that was asking; in my experience most women expect men to be circumcised etc. which is what I base my analysis on.
By the time he is 18 years old (2036) boys will be suing their parents for "genital mutilation" without their consent. Want your retirement nest egg taken away? Just go and clip that boy with no established religious obligation to do it. Moderator cut: delete
He needn't worry about what "society" thinks about the appearance of something he should keep covered 99% of the time.
He can get himself cut when he grows up and decides he wants it cut. But one can't put it back on if he gets circ'd and at some point decides he would prefer to be uncircumcised. There are more than a few adult men who feel that way it turns out.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 01-10-2018 at 05:20 AM..
Reason: Deleted the off topic reference to the Me too movement
Thanks to everyone to all the responses you all have given me a lot to think about. As far as the people
I live in Texas by the way for the person that was asking; in my experience most women expect men to be circumcised etc. which is what I base my analysis on.
Texas has an interesting circumcision history. It was routinely done there earlier than in the rest of the US. Why? To establish one as "Anglo." In Texas 100 years ago that was an issue. A social issue, in fact. Today, it's not a social issue. My relatives are rich white North Texans and they quit the circumcision thing 40 years ago.
I say to the few chicks who even know the difference, if it's such an issue, just do it in the dark, lights out, under the covers. You'll never know the difference.
Your son would probably like to look like you, and you might get an odd question or two early on if he doesn't.
Nope. Some daddies refuse to potty train their boys. I honestly don't think it matters if you 'look' like your daddy or not. By the time there's questions they're mature enough to hear the answers.
As for culturally -
A Saudi friend said Saudi's do get circumcised.
She said it was the Indian (India) population that doesn't. It's not a Muslim thing. It's more a cultural regional issue.
Texas has an interesting circumcision history. It was routinely done there earlier than in the rest of the US. Why? To establish one as "Anglo." In Texas 100 years ago that was an issue. A social issue, in fact. Today, it's not a social issue. My relatives are rich white North Texans and they quit the circumcision thing 40 years ago.
I say to the few chicks who even know the difference, if it's such an issue, just do it in the dark, lights out, under the covers. You'll never know the difference.
Yes exactly! But in my experience it was still an issue when I was growing up 10+ years ago. Being uncircumcised marked you as an unassimilated poorer immigrant which was not a thing to be proud of. I'm not sure if it has changed in my area or not but I get the feeling it probably hasn't.
That's why I always thought it was something very important to have done to your son to make sure he was in touch with American culture, I'm glad I posted on here though because it seems that it isn't like that in all parts of the country; maybe it's something unique to the cultural dynamics in the region where I live?
Whoever said they were going to "Report" anyone that suggested Jews practice circumcision for non-medical reasons, well, get ready...because its obviously non-medical. In fact, looking at the biblical sources of circumcision instructions, there is not any evidence of any medical reason, and it appears to be a completely religious practice.
As for modern people that study medicine and can weigh in with science and such, there are very few medical reasons for circumcision. Most of the reasons so cited have more to do with unsafe sexual practices and poor hygiene - these are not matters of medicine. You can basically forget about HIV as its a lifestyle disease (nothing to do with the foreskin), and there is a readily available vaccine for HPV. In the future, nobody should be getting the cancer-causing strains of HPV. Just like nobody should get Diphtheria or Polio.
In the US the practice has primarily derived from cultural expectations, but has been under rapid decline, to the point where it will be at parity in the next 10 years.
I'm circumcised. Don't remember if it hurt or not, but I do know I couldn't walk for a year.
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