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Old 01-10-2018, 04:31 PM
 
2,747 posts, read 8,624,729 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayanne View Post
This will probably end up long and of no interest to anyone other than OP. OP, you came here looking for advice, so I'll do my best to share my experience and advice with you.

Background: my 3 boys are all adults now. They were all definitely advanced for their age when they were children. ("Gifted"? Who knows, who cares?) I'll just talk about my oldest, to keep it simple. He knew the entire alphabet (not to just sing it, but to name all the letters---I don't even know how he learned them) by the time he was a year and a half old. He was reading simple books by age 2 1/2, and read the newspaper everyday by the time he was 4. He ended up a National Merit Scholar based on his PSAT in high school, perfect math score on his SAT and nearly perfect on the verbal section. Full ride scholarships for undergrad and grad school. Everything he touched turned to gold--until he tried to enter the job market during the recession several years ago. Suddenly he was facing closed doors same as everyone else. He did find a job, but his career life was humbling (to both him and to me. My "super-star kid" turned out to just be a normal adult, but he's happily married, enjoys life, and that's all that really matters).

So, back in kindergarten, he was in a normal (non-gifted) class. His teacher did recognize his abilities and gave him 5th grade books to read, higher level math worksheets, etc. Thankfully I didn't have to ask for it. He seemed happy in Kg, so that's all that mattered to me. Then we moved, and he was in a different school for 1st grade. It was there that he let me know very clearly that he was not happy (he cried a lot, had stomach aches, didn't want to go to school). He even wrote out an entire paper with examples of math problems (multiplication problems in the hundreds of thousands) and spelling words (multisyllabic) that he wished he was allowed to do, instead of the "simple things" his teacher was having them do (his words). I took that paper in to the principal to see if higher level work could be given to my son (big mistake--I should have gone to the teacher, and I don't even remember why I didn't.) The teacher greatly resented me asking for harder work, and the rest of 1st grade was a nightmare. I didn't even know for a long time that she just stuck him in a corner to work on 5th grade material by himself. When I discovered this, and asked her about it, she was extremely nasty. My point in telling you this story is just to be careful, not to alienate the teacher. And if the teacher is not open to helping your child as an individual, try very hard to work WITH that teacher, not against. If all else fails, request a different teacher.

I ended up homeschooling all of my kids for several years (something several here have suggested to you). I homeschooled through 8th grade. I am the kind of person who goes above and beyond in anything I do, so I can honestly say I did an excellent job of educating my boys, and I was of course able to customize their curricula much more than any public or private teacher could have done. But teaching just 3 children (not 30 as in many classrooms) was challenging! I began to truly appreciate teachers, and to understand why they couldn't possibly perfectly accommodate every child's exact needs. Yet the kids who want to thrive and learn, for the most part, do so.

If I had to do it all over again, I'm not sure I would homeschool. I completely gave up my own career growth for the sake of my children's education. Would they have ended up with the advanced degrees they have now if I hadn't poured my life into them? Probably. I had no way of knowing that my (then) husband would end up filing for divorce, and that I would have to re-enter my long-abandoned career in my late 40s, starting all over at the bottom of the ladder. I truly regret giving up what could have been a much more successful and satisfying career for myself.

One just never knows what the future holds. So take care of and invest in yourself at least as much as you take care of your children. Your 4 year old will let you know if he is unhappy in school. Nurture his interests and passions after school, at the library, music or art lessons, science kits, etc. If he is truly gifted, nothing will stop him from learning about the things he wants to learn. Just be careful not to alienate or annoy the teachers, because they surely roll their eyes when every other parent tries telling them how gifted their child is. Even if he IS gifted, they probably don't want you telling them. A good teacher will figure it out (unless you have that rare bad apple like my son had in 1st grade). Just love that little boy, let him take the lead regarding his interests, and don't fret. It will all work out!
Thank you for taking the time to respond. This is just the sort of experience I was interested in hearing about!! You sound like a great mom...and yes we do all sacrifice to do so, but I will most certainly heed your advice!
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Old 01-11-2018, 05:47 AM
 
4,580 posts, read 4,393,085 times
Reputation: 10419
Quote:
Originally Posted by newtovenice View Post
It has to do with not following the directions. If they don't follow directions the teacher cannot prove the kid has mastered the material.

If the directions say write the letter A, and the kids writes D, he fails.

If he directions say to color the square blue and he colors it red, he fails.

They have to meet the standards. Otherwise they are marked as failing no matter HOW *gifted* they are.

Doesn't matter if you believe/don't believe. I know someone it happened to.
Lol. Almost every kid would have failed then.

You don't know someone this happened to. You know someone who is a crazy dramatic alarmist who grossly embellished and made stuff up.
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Old 01-11-2018, 05:55 AM
 
14,775 posts, read 12,339,903 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KH02 View Post
My son is only 4, but will be starting Kindergarten in the fall. Our public school does NOT have a gifted program. The school seems to push back, or at least make it difficult for you to get them to give separate work to one child. Anyone have any tips or luck in getting their advanced child help?

My son is already on the younger side for Kindergarten, so I don't want to skip him a grade. I just want him to jump up a grade for reading or have them put him in a class with another child who is already reading. Getting some more advanced math work for him would be great as well. If it's needed as info for you: he is reading, knows all his money (what it's worth, counting it) telling time by hour and half hour, and can add and subtract in his head.

A private school would be ideal, however, we simply can't afford it.

I'm worried he will be bored in kindergarten just learning letter sounds etc. Any help would be appreciated. Perhaps enrichment ideas for outside of school?
What is your child's IQ? Because just what you have described is not particularly indicative of being gifted. For disclosure I have been teaching gifted students for 15+ year in a school dedicated to them alone.
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Old 01-11-2018, 07:03 AM
 
4,580 posts, read 4,393,085 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
What is your child's IQ? Because just what you have described is not particularly indicative of being gifted. For disclosure I have been teaching gifted students for 15+ year in a school dedicated to them alone.
You cannot accurately measure IQ at that age.
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Old 01-11-2018, 07:22 AM
 
14,775 posts, read 12,339,903 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by G-fused View Post
You cannot accurately measure IQ at that age.
It is hard to accurately measure IQ for any child. That being said there are intelligence tests for the 3-6 set which are a much better measure of whether a student is gifted or not than whether they can read. A measure which does not correlate with giftedness at all at that age.
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Old 01-11-2018, 08:06 AM
 
Location: Central, NJ
2,228 posts, read 4,626,690 times
Reputation: 2666
Quote:
Originally Posted by newtovenice View Post
It has to do with not following the directions. If they don't follow directions the teacher cannot prove the kid has mastered the material.

If the directions say write the letter A, and the kids writes D, he fails.

If he directions say to color the square blue and he colors it red, he fails.

They have to meet the standards. Otherwise they are marked as failing no matter HOW *gifted* they are.

Doesn't matter if you believe/don't believe. I know someone it happened to.
Yes, they do need to ascertain whether or not they know what a square is and what the color green is and whether or not a child can follow single or multi step directions. They don't line up 5 year olds in front of a panel and expect them to perform this on command. They need to reach that standard and teachers can observe that in many ways. If someone you know had a child with a terrible Kindergarten teacher, that is a bad experience. It is not the norm and it is not the way Kindergarten is in every classroom in the US. Common Core gets a universally bad rap but it is a set of standards and schools are still the ones designing the curriculum to meet those standards.
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Old 01-11-2018, 08:13 AM
 
4,580 posts, read 4,393,085 times
Reputation: 10419
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
It is hard to accurately measure IQ for any child. That being said there are intelligence tests for the 3-6 set which are a much better measure of whether a student is gifted or not than whether they can read. A measure which does not correlate with giftedness at all at that age.
I'm aware of the tests. Things can be tested at any age and feedback given regarding the results (all qualified). Bottom line is they are all subject to being non conclusive at age 4, very easily. Any below average to great Psychologist would agree. Unless they wanted the money and had a private pay patient.

It's all smoke and mirrors funded by parents who are eager to hear their child is "gifted". That term itself is BS.

I'm a parent myself. I get the pull of wanting to say my child is gifted and have that mean something (i.e. my kid is better than yours). It's pride, ego, a reflection on you as a parent, etc. All things I work to not care about. You teach gifted students...great. I bet that makes you feel better to say than you teach academically challenged kids. What we value is warped but I wouldn't think that if my kid were interpreted as "gifted" by society. My parenting experience, combined with how I think, and my age has given me perspective.

I forget the exact words and who said it but it was something like - if you measure the intelligence of a caterpillar by how fast it moves, you'll never understand its potential.
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Old 01-11-2018, 08:25 AM
 
7,990 posts, read 7,823,985 times
Reputation: 10992
I was a child that was deemed "gifted" and put in gifted programs, or AP courses growing up. I've kept track of some of my peers that were in the program with me. Some went on to successful careers, but I'd have to say more than half never amounted to much based on our last reunion.


I agree with the term being "BS" but I don't want to minimalize the program. We got to work on some great subject matter without interruption from the "problem children". I just hate to use the word gifted.
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Old 01-11-2018, 10:33 AM
 
Location: Bloomington, IL
11,507 posts, read 5,933,080 times
Reputation: 25979
Quote:
Originally Posted by KH02 View Post
For the record, I don't even own a workbook or dittoes.

We learn by playing. His favorite game is Monopoly and he learned how to count money using that and the allowance game. We have a play clock that we set to tell time. He wanted to learn so I showed him (he's very schedule oriented and wanted to know when it was "lunchtime" etc). He learned to read because he loves to read. He would follow along with his finger and pretend to read so I asked if he wanted to learn, he said yes and so we worked on it together and he's gotten really good at it.

He is currently in a play based nursery school, so he has not learned any of that from there it is all from home. But he has lots of friends and loves to play and learn his social skills with other kids his age.

He love the solar system and so I bought a bunch of puzzles with the planets and that's how he learned them all by name and got so good at larger puzzles. He loves logic games with castles etc so we play a lot of those.

I'm not forcing him to do this and it is all based on what he enjoys. So I don't really appreciate the responses that are somewhat hostile. I was asking a simple question. Thanks to those of you who have provided helpful answers. I do try to let him be a kid, I just get concerned that he won't be interested in what they are doing if it's something he's done over and over. That's all. Also using the experience from my older two who were very similar, and struggled to find a balance with the school to allow them to have as much growth as any other student.
Part of socialization is getting along with others even if they are "dumber" than you! But seriously, smart kids can entertain themselves if they have the materials to do so in their extra time. They don't necessarily need a structured program on top of what they're already doing. He taught himself to read (not all that unusual) - I'm sure he can teach himself math and other things if he has something to work with. Let him take that stuff to school to fill in the time - but make sure he understands he has to do the "boring" work first - but don't assume he'll find it boring and because that would set him up with an attitude before he starts. he doesn't need to think he is special or privileged.
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Old 01-11-2018, 11:44 AM
 
14,775 posts, read 12,339,903 times
Reputation: 18609
Quote:
Originally Posted by G-fused View Post
I'm aware of the tests. Things can be tested at any age and feedback given regarding the results (all qualified). Bottom line is they are all subject to being non conclusive at age 4, very easily. Any below average to great Psychologist would agree. Unless they wanted the money and had a private pay patient.

It's all smoke and mirrors funded by parents who are eager to hear their child is "gifted". That term itself is BS.

I'm a parent myself. I get the pull of wanting to say my child is gifted and have that mean something (i.e. my kid is better than yours). It's pride, ego, a reflection on you as a parent, etc. All things I work to not care about. You teach gifted students...great. I bet that makes you feel better to say than you teach academically challenged kids. What we value is warped but I wouldn't think that if my kid were interpreted as "gifted" by society. My parenting experience, combined with how I think, and my age has given me perspective.

I forget the exact words and who said it but it was something like - if you measure the intelligence of a caterpillar by how fast it moves, you'll never understand its potential.
That is all well and good, but this parent is advocating for getting special services due to the child's giftedness based on the fact the kid can read. To qualify for special services, they need to demonstrate the actual condition. They would be better asking the school to test the kid. Additionally, I did not remotely advocate for them to go out and pay someone to test their child. Schools have psychologists who can test the child for free assuming he shows any signs of actually being gifted.
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