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Old 01-09-2018, 01:43 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
12,387 posts, read 16,652,699 times
Reputation: 20589

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My son recently lived with us for a while and he gave us a one day notice that he was moving out and he moved in with people he has only known for a month or two .We think he did not like our rules .Our rules were no one in the house that we did not know 2. no loud talking while we were trying to sleep we all kept different hours .3. he pay 200 a month to help out with things 4. he had to keep his room and things neat and clean . Not rules that could not be followed really closely . I don't think we were unreasonable . Boo hoo the world is full of rules . Now he does not understand why we are angry with him . Well we busted our humps to help him and get him things he needed and this is the thanks we get a one day notice he is moving out . we feel betrayed and angry and we no longer want to help any of them now because of how we were done .I'm not angry with my other children but they seem to be with me . But I can live with that .I'm just wondering why do these supposed adults act like entitled spoiled brats ? is this how our future generations are turning out ? I have seen other people complaining about their adult kids acting the same way and wondering why ? oh and now he has said he is moving in with his sister . Well I for one am tired of being the bad guy , anyone else here have the same problem with their adult kids ?
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Old 01-09-2018, 01:55 PM
 
Location: Denver area
20,775 posts, read 21,265,084 times
Reputation: 33694
I'm unsure what there is to be angry about or feel betrayed over. He's an adult who moved out of his parent's home. Unless you needed more notice to find a boarder in order to meet the mortgage what difference does it make how much notice he provided? Were you thinking he'd stay? Did he follow the agreed upon rules while he was there? If he was rude ir didn't live up to his agreement then DIDN'T leave, I could see your point. Maybe I'm missing something....

Last edited by maciesmom; 01-09-2018 at 02:19 PM..
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Old 01-09-2018, 02:23 PM
 
Location: Bexley, Ohio
519 posts, read 43,017 times
Reputation: 347
You should be celebrating your son’s newfound independence, yet you are complaining that he doesn’t want to comply with your rules? Instead of getting on each other’s nerves you should consider this a new start for both of you. Consider this a win-win.
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Old 01-09-2018, 02:29 PM
 
1,389 posts, read 538,437 times
Reputation: 5255
It sounds like a more healthy decision for him to be out and making his own way, more cause for celebration. I agree with Sully ,this is a win win.
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Old 01-09-2018, 02:39 PM
 
3,557 posts, read 8,927,918 times
Reputation: 5856
I'm not angry with my other children but they seem to be with me

There is much more to this story. Sounds like you need to have a heart to heart with each of your kids and try to find out what they are thinking and act with some humility. Maybe you are coming across as and unreasonably angry person? Who knows.

You dont have to give up anything like time or money but you really need to find out why your relationships with your kids are falling apart.
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Old 01-09-2018, 02:51 PM
 
5,552 posts, read 3,638,944 times
Reputation: 14747
If he abided by your rules for his brief stay and then moved out, how is that being used? Was he mean?
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Old 01-09-2018, 03:03 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
12,387 posts, read 16,652,699 times
Reputation: 20589
well we were trying to teach him how to live in the real world like paying bills and getting a 2nd job which he needed and a car and yet he chooses to move . you cant move with a one day notice in the real world . I'm tired of these entitled kids who think whatever they do is right . I guess maybe I expected him to do right and abide by the rules and no he broke a few rules and was told like an adult about him breaking the rules . He also needed to learn how to pay rent and to get back on his feet . Which he was not even close too . So I guess I will let the chips fall where they may and maybe then he will learn like the rest of us . wow how many of you have adult kids ? just wondering if some of you posting here even have kids ? Please do tell me .
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Old 01-09-2018, 03:07 PM
 
Location: Arkansas
3,833 posts, read 1,297,484 times
Reputation: 8263
Why don't you just say "NO"? It's not that hard.


I see a lot of posts here by parents of adult kids. There really shouldn't be. Parenting ends when the kid turns 18. In my opinion, this is a board for parents of actual children. Once they reach adulthood they aren't kids anymore.


Tell them no, set boundaries and if you can't, it's ultimately your fault.
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Old 01-09-2018, 03:08 PM
 
9,786 posts, read 5,854,302 times
Reputation: 22353
Arent you glad he moved out? If he is an adult and found a place to live...seems like that is the goal. You are his parents so I wouldn't imagine you would need notice. Its not like you need to find someone else to rent his room.

P.S. No, my adult kids live on their own and support themselves. I do wish they would call and visit more often, but they are living and building their own lives and that is to be expected in the age range they are in. I try to be pleasant when they do call or visit so they want to keep doing it.
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Old 01-09-2018, 03:10 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
12,387 posts, read 16,652,699 times
Reputation: 20589
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
Why don't you just say "NO"? It's not that hard.


I see a lot of posts here by parents of adult kids. There really shouldn't be. Parenting ends when the kid turns 18. In my opinion, this is a board for parents of actual children. Once they reach adulthood they aren't kids anymore.


Tell them no, set boundaries and if you can't, it's ultimately your fault.
well you will happy to know that from now on NO is my middle name . my husband has said no more kids living with us ever .....ever ....ever thanks
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