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Old 01-12-2018, 10:45 AM
 
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No. Even though I wasn't financially deprived, I wanted better for my children. I wanted a happier childhood for them, with more parental involvement. And I've provided that.

But.... I'm sure that there are things that they would say that they want for their own children, that would be different. However, I know that my oldest, when we were talking about changing the arrangement in how our household was run for the youngest child, vehemently protested. "I want kid to have exactly the same childhood that I did!", meaning, one dynamic stay at home parent, and the other working but very involved. So I guess oldest was satisfied with what we provided.
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Old 01-12-2018, 11:04 AM
 
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Oh no way! She got most of the best parts of mine, fewer of the negatives and with lots more (and not just things - experiences, opportunities and attention.)
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Old 01-12-2018, 11:12 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChrisCrampsey View Post
i would say yes and no , there is a certain aspects of my childhood like not doing that well at school as i would have liked that i wouldnt want my children to repeat but also i had at park outside my home growing up so my children could play for hours on end within walking distance.
No. Not at all.
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Old 01-12-2018, 01:19 PM
Status: "Miss mom" (set 23 days ago)
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
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Yes. 100 times over: Yes.
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Old 01-12-2018, 02:04 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
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Nope not at all . and that is all I will say .
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Old 01-12-2018, 02:07 PM
 
Location: Santa Monica, Ca
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Yes... I had a great upbringing and a great relationship with family.
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Old 01-12-2018, 02:51 PM
 
Location: San Diego
475 posts, read 339,792 times
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My biological father had a massive stroke when I was maybe 6, and died when I was 14. My mother remarried that same year. I wish all of that didn't happen. I don't favor one father figure over the other in my life, but it would have been nice just to have one, and have him not have that stroke, and not have to be hospitalized so that my mother had to take care of me (and everything important in her life) herself. I am also physically disabled from birth, and unable to work.

As for my children's childhood, well, I am disabled. Therefore, I choose not to head my own family. It's just way too much responsibility, even if my kids were not special needs.

All that said, my mother has done, and is doing, her best to be a mother to a 42-year-old disabled man. But if I wanted to parent (and I do find the filial dynamic interesting), I would do a number of things differently. I would enforce rules on dress, because I never learned to make a wardrobe; my interest was always shirts. I would also require my kids to do extracurriculars, and hold above average grades, especially in science (grades are important in being able to do extracurriculars, anyway).

I would also require volunteering (which I did), and a paid job as soon as my kid was old enough. Socialization would be related to family, school, and extracurriculars (school clubs, community ballet for the daughter, etc), and would come after studying and taking all other responsibilities. No geographical moves would occur, unless it was some sort of emergency (I went to four high schools in three states. Not good for any chance of social normalization, nor for my grades).

I would want a whole lot for my kid, but would take care not to overschedule. But they would have pretty busy lives. No couch potatoing like I did.
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Old 01-12-2018, 03:35 PM
 
8,726 posts, read 5,330,532 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soccernerd View Post
I donít think for anyone it is so black and white as a "yes or no" question.

I think there are things and circumstances in every person's childhood that were favorable and unfavorable.

My parents were able to financially support a middle class lifestyle and then some, but they were never involved with my siblings and myself with school activities. My husband and I strive to improve this for our children.
That would pretty much be my answer as well. Overall, I had a good childhood, and there are many aspects of my childhood that I want for my children. A chance to travel, financial stability, good relationships with relatives... but yeah, my parents werenít really involved with the day to day activities of my life. Not that Iím interested in being a helicopter parent, but simple things like going to school events, helping with homework, bedtime routines, and such.
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Old 01-12-2018, 07:47 PM
 
2,409 posts, read 1,787,067 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChrisCrampsey View Post
i would say yes and no , there is a certain aspects of my childhood like not doing that well at school as i would have liked that i wouldnt want my children to repeat but also i had at park outside my home growing up so my children could play for hours on end within walking distance.
No. Absolutely not. My father was a rageaholic who took his problems out on me.

To this day if I'm in bed and hear a door slam I'm right back there.

I had friends and no problems at school growing up but I hated being in the same room with my father. He had a temper and I never knew when he would explode.
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Old 01-12-2018, 08:45 PM
 
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In general..I wouldn't wish it on anyone to be raised how I was. The glimpses of some parts I cherish though..My grandfather's love...Or my aunt taking me out on a country drive..On a sunny fall day...And I'd nod off and lay on her lap...It is the closest to genuine peace I knew. My mom's absolute unconditional love...
My kids though did get to have a broader cultural life as we resided in a college town. They cherished those years and our family outings.
They sadly had to endure my alcoholism and antics...Of which I regret terribly as a parent . My son's though say they had a good childhood ...So maybe it was the 'family' values ...That saved them.
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