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Old 01-19-2018, 02:10 PM
 
Location: Boston, MA
7,852 posts, read 6,805,356 times
Reputation: 6573

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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
I guess you came here to warn all the teens reading ... ? Or just to throw salt in the OP's wounds? Because his son already did what you're advising against.
A parent posted. I'm talking to parents. I thought this was self-evident. Parents have the absolutely insane idea that teaching your kids having sex is totally a valid option as long as you use a condom (responsibility!!!). I'm saying that's hogwash.
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Old 01-19-2018, 02:12 PM
 
Location: Boston, MA
7,852 posts, read 6,805,356 times
Reputation: 6573
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
Then don't do it.
I would never do such a dumb thing. I just hope not many people do. It's really awful, irresponsible, and dehumanizing. Of course I would not be so careless. I hope others take the time to think this through too, as such behavior is not only bad for the individual, but for society at large.
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Old 01-19-2018, 02:40 PM
 
Location: Northern panhandle WV
2,247 posts, read 1,744,626 times
Reputation: 4547
The horse has left the barn on the casual sex or no sex before marriage it is almost impossible to find two virgins at the alter these days. Sad though that is, and given I say it. At least we were virgins with each other and never had sex with anyone else in these 50 years of marriage. Again practically unheard of. I was also a stay at home mother of 5 children, Something the women's movement pretty much did away with.
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Old 01-19-2018, 03:01 PM
 
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
4,150 posts, read 2,157,557 times
Reputation: 8081
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gunluvver2 View Post
I hope Adoption is an option.
It is an option; however, whether or not the two involved choose that is another matter.

Is the girl's mother pressuring her to keep the baby in the family because she perhaps wants a grandchild?
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Old 01-19-2018, 03:57 PM
 
Location: Striving for Avalon
1,400 posts, read 2,000,182 times
Reputation: 3231
Quote:
Originally Posted by bjimmy24 View Post
I would never do such a dumb thing. I just hope not many people do. It's really awful, irresponsible, and dehumanizing. Of course I would not be so careless. I hope others take the time to think this through too, as such behavior is not only bad for the individual, but for society at large.
Aside from perching smugly on your moral high ground, what good does it do at this stage locking the door after the house has been robbed?

I am amazed at how blase many of the posters are to the challenges these two are facing. This is literally cycle-of-poverty in action.
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Old 01-19-2018, 04:43 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
84,960 posts, read 98,776,620 times
Reputation: 31371
Quote:
Originally Posted by SFBayBoomer View Post
It is an option; however, whether or not the two involved choose that is another matter.

Is the girl's mother pressuring her to keep the baby in the family because she perhaps wants a grandchild?
I do think we should quit the psychoanalysis, particularly of the young woman's family, who is not posting here. We have no idea what they're thinking.
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Old 01-19-2018, 05:30 PM
 
10,608 posts, read 13,373,641 times
Reputation: 17153
Quote:
Originally Posted by bjimmy24 View Post
Keep praying!

Who would have guessed that after decades of telling kids that sex is casual recreation that kids treat sex as though it were casual recreation?

Despicable. Whatever happened to actually valuing sexuality? Not passing it out to whatever random person asks, like candy? Oh oh, but it's "responsible" because you put on a condom. Got it. Good work mom!

The responsible thing would be to teach your sons the value of his own sexuality and of women's. That sex has an awesome purpose. It is to be valued, respected, and used with dignity and with someone else with that same level of understanding (yes, marriage, cue the outrage!).
What ever happened?

Playboy and Hustler happened. The 1970s happened. And now Naked Miley happens at concerts.

Except it's the female who has the burden of carrying, delivering, and raising the child unless she adopts him out.

Suddenly it's the men who are supposed to stop being men.

Welcome to 2018.

And it's always been this way so let's stop with the faux equality argument, people. Unless there's a rape, everyone knows who bears the ultimate responsibility. Well, not just the female but often her parents.
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Old 01-19-2018, 06:00 PM
 
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
4,150 posts, read 2,157,557 times
Reputation: 8081
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt View Post
I do think we should quit the psychoanalysis, particularly of the young woman's family, who is not posting here. We have no idea what they're thinking.
According to the original post, we do know what they are expressing.

I don't think it is psychoanalyzing when the poster stated that the two are not emotionally ready (to be parents) and also her parents "are seemingly fine with the situation, looking forward to being grandparents".

The OP knows the other family. We don't. However, it is possible to extrapolate from those expressions that the parent(s) may not be considering other possibilities like adoption because they are looking forward to being grandparents, even though their daughter is only 18 years old and the boy is only 17.

Last edited by SFBayBoomer; 01-19-2018 at 06:14 PM..
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Old 01-19-2018, 06:17 PM
 
5,235 posts, read 3,007,657 times
Reputation: 2007
Look at it this way your going to be a great grandparent to a beautiful gift of life from God ...
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Old 01-19-2018, 06:40 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
84,960 posts, read 98,776,620 times
Reputation: 31371
Quote:
Originally Posted by runswithscissors View Post
What ever happened?

Playboy and Hustler happened. The 1970s happened. And now Naked Miley happens at concerts.

Except it's the female who has the burden of carrying, delivering, and raising the child unless she adopts him out.

Suddenly it's the men who are supposed to stop being men.

Welcome to 2018.

And it's always been this way so let's stop with the faux equality argument, people. Unless there's a rape, everyone knows who bears the ultimate responsibility. Well, not just the female but often her parents.
Actually, I have a family member who "had to get married" back in the 1940s, at the age of 19.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SFBayBoomer View Post
According to the original post, we do know what they are expressing.

I don't think it is psychoanalyzing when the poster stated that the two are not emotionally ready (to be parents) and also her parents "are seemingly fine with the situation, looking forward to being grandparents".

The OP knows the other family. We don't. However, it is possible to extrapolate from those expressions that the parent(s) may not be considering other possibilities like adoption because they are looking forward to being grandparents, even though their daughter is only 18 years old and the boy is only 17.
It's also possible that the young woman's parents have simply accepted the situation and are making the best of it. Having raised two girls to adulthood, I can assure you me nor any of my friends would have been immediately thrilled with this situation, even with a coming grandchild. Heck, they're barely done with parenting the young woman!
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