U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-17-2018, 10:04 AM
 
583 posts, read 237,093 times
Reputation: 2397

Advertisements

I know you're emotional and upset, but I don't think it's fair to judge the girl's parents when your son was 50% of the equation.

There's not much you can do now besides set up some sort of custody and child support arrangement. If your son still wants to go to school, he can do so online while he works. It's going to be tough, but it doesn't mean his future is irreparably damaged.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-17-2018, 10:08 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
84,221 posts, read 97,355,967 times
Reputation: 30679
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eeyore1954 View Post
I would not be dumbfounded as to how it could happen.
I would not be angry at her parents. They weren’t having unprotected sex.
Should they be angry at you?
It is not the end of the world.
You said something similar to what I was going to say. The OP is mad at the kids and at her parents. Her parents may be mad at the OP, as well!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-17-2018, 10:15 AM
 
3,009 posts, read 2,176,560 times
Reputation: 5053
Congratulations. This is your son's new reality. It happens. Don't waste time or energy blaming anyone, this was his choice to take the risk.

There is a new baby coming. Help guide him to be responsible and a good father. This can make him stronger.

It happens to the best of families.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-17-2018, 10:16 AM
 
Location: Telecommutes from Northern AZ
999 posts, read 969,792 times
Reputation: 1318
Life isn't over for your son, it is just taking a vastly different course.
He made of made a mistake, but the new life that is coming is not a mistake, it is a human.
People have been having kids at a young age for a long, long time...it happens, it is common. It doesn't mean your son or his gf's lives are over. Just different. I would encourage them to get married and stick it out. Encourage your son to still pursue his gifts but he might have to wait a bit, doesn't mean anything other than he has to wait a bit. Gifts still there, potential still there, many of the greatest people in the world do not take the straight/conventional path to achieve their potential.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-17-2018, 10:24 AM
Status: "His name is Mr. Fish and he rules with an iron fist." (set 6 days ago)
 
Location: Posting from my space yacht.
6,092 posts, read 2,288,402 times
Reputation: 11929
Make sure your son gets a paternity test done before signing the birth certificate. If he finds out the child is not his later on he may still be on the hook.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-17-2018, 10:27 AM
 
10,081 posts, read 6,277,830 times
Reputation: 23642
I don't know why so many people assume he isn't able to go to college? Its his choice, but most 17 year old dads take off anyways. At least if he is in college, he is bettering the future for himself and his child. Maybe he will choose to stay closer to be in the baby's life on a daily basis. Maybe not.

The idea of encouraging a 17 year old to get married because of a pregnancy is pretty startling. On what planet is that going to turn out well?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-17-2018, 10:28 AM
 
10,081 posts, read 6,277,830 times
Reputation: 23642
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Bully View Post
Make sure your son gets a paternity test done before signing the birth certificate. If he finds out the child is not his later on he may still be on the hook.
depending on the state. But a test and checking the laws are a good idea. He might not be willing to if he is in love with the girl...but its worth a non-threatening conversation. I have heard over and over approx. 1/4-1/3 of fathers are misidentified.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-17-2018, 11:12 AM
 
Location: California
4,410 posts, read 5,059,019 times
Reputation: 9068
Your local child support enforcement program will do the paternity test, unless he stipulates that it is his, and help the court set the support amount for the child. Not the end of the world so keep your perspective.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-17-2018, 11:28 AM
 
583 posts, read 237,093 times
Reputation: 2397
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post

The idea of encouraging a 17 year old to get married because of a pregnancy is pretty startling. On what planet is that going to turn out well?
Yeah, that's pretty much the worst thing they can do right now. All the money they're going to eventually spend on divorce lawyers would be better off invested in a college fund for the baby.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-17-2018, 12:14 PM
 
5,523 posts, read 2,157,565 times
Reputation: 15771
If anyone thinks I'm suggesting they get married, I'm not. My friend did that and made it work but that was a generation ago when it was more expected that you get married if you were pregnant and wanted to keep the baby.

I'm suggesting maybe this was a purposeful act - that both of them intended to get pregnant, and he is now happy about it and didn't want to go to school in the first place.

Which is an entirely different problem from dealing with an accidental pregnancy and a son who very much wants to go to college.

Last edited by ClaraC; 01-17-2018 at 12:41 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2017, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top