Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
IMHO the SAHMs are doing the MOST important job there is. The SAHM has a partner working with her to allow her to devote 100% of her energy into raising the kids and managing the household. Name one profession more important to society.
I would love to be a stay at home father and take care of the kids. I need nor desire adult interaction. To each their own.
Stay at home parents can have as much, or as little adult interaction as they want. I always find it weird when people tell me that they would be so bored being a sahm and that they need to be around people. I usually ask them if they're bored on the weekend.
Stay at home parents can have as much, or as little adult interaction as they want. I always find it weird when people tell me that they would be so bored being a sahm and that they need to be around people. I usually ask them if they're bored on the weekend.
Agreed. When I was a SAHM, there were plenty of things to do. I had no desire for lots of interaction (3 kids provide more than enough of that!), but I had a blast sewing, reading, watching tons of documentaries and foreign films, long walks, building stuff, baking bread, making yogurt. The only times I started to feel bored and anxious was that final summer at home, and I think it was because I intuitively knew that it was the end of an era.
Some people are quiet and keep their frustrations to themselves, others need to express their feelings to others. Don't think it has much to do with whether one is a stay at homer or a sheet metal mechanic.
OTOH, I can't imagine a young man or woman being cooped up with a few rugrats all the time without going a bit nuts.
Stay at home parents can have as much, or as little adult interaction as they want. I always find it weird when people tell me that they would be so bored being a sahm and that they need to be around people. I usually ask them if they're bored on the weekend.
I used to get asked this too and I found it bizarre.
OTOH, I can't imagine a young man or woman being cooped up with a few rugrats all the time without going a bit nuts.
"Staying home with the kids" doesn't LITERALLY mean staying home cooped up in the house all the time. Stay-at-home moms (and dads) are free to go out and socialize with others. In fact, many arguably spend more time socializing than "working" people do.
This just sounds like another case of (if you work) thinking that everyone really wants/needs the interaction of work, and (if you stay home) believing that everyone would really rather stay home if they could.
When my first daughter was born, a coworker with a 7-year-old daughter assured me that I would soon be tired of staying home and would be back at work. That's what had happened to her, after all. Nope, I didn't get tired of staying home and never went back. And what's more, I had in fact known I wouldn't want to go back. I knew myself better than she did.
I think it depends on the person. If someone is a complainer they are going to be whether they work or not. Sometimes people get caught up in complaining. I think we all have that co-worker, friend, neighbor, relative etc that can suck you into some sort of negativity. I was a SAHM for a bit when my son was little. I actually enjoyed it. I mean yeah, I was bored. I got lonely. The lack of disposable income sucked and so on but I enjoyed that I was spending a lot of time with him.
There is a fear though, once you have been out of the workplace for a while, you start to wonder if you will be accepted back. You don't have work stories to share. I actually had a difficult time for awhile getting hired with a lack of work history for a few years. One aspect I experienced was some dismissed you without having a job. Some would be rude with their questions, "oh my goodness, don't you get bored?!" For a lot of people, your career defines who you are. SAHM wasn't top of the list for many of the people I encountered. Honestly, women were the worst. Some were obviously jealous and others were just mean that I was wasting my future. I have a very demanding career now and work with many women with very young children. I can't imagine having a little one and working the hours that we do. I also think how further I would be in my career if I had worked. Overall, I am grateful that I was able to have the opportunity to stay home at one point.
Here's what I noticed. I find the SAHM's on social media to be the most annoying. They are the people on my feed who feel the need to list every little thing they did that day. Today I did the laundry, packed lunches, did the grocery shopping...blah blah blah. The only people who care enough to respond - other SAHM's. I assume they feel the need to validate their lives by listing what they did throughout the day...so perhaps they don't feel like their lives are very fulfilled. I do not talk to these women on a day to day basis, so I really don't know.
My husband's best friend makes decent money and his wife is a SAHM. We talk to him, not her, most of the time so here is what we hear through his side of things. He works Mon-Fri 10-12 hour days. When their daughter was a baby, he would come home exhausted and she would hand him the baby, refusing to do any more with her. He had to change her, feed & bathe her, put her to bed. As I understand it, his wife refuses to cook or clean. I don't know if she had complaints about her day, but if she did, it would probably be that she was tired of her mom duties and felt that it was dad's turn the second he walked in the door. I'm not sure who's in the wrong here, since being a parent is full time, yet...the husband needs a break too, right? Although, this is a marriage with little to no compromise on either end.
Now I'll share my experience. I was on maternity leave for 12 weeks. By the time I reached week 9 or 10 I was ready to go back to work. While I loved being able to spend time with my little one, there were times when I felt it was tedious. I felt like I had little adult interaction and like my brain was just shutting down, like I couldn't think clearly anymore. Of course, that was just the first 12 weeks with a baby, and I'm sure things change as the baby turns into a child. There were times when I felt like I resented my husband...but I'm not sure why. I think I was just exhausted and hormonal most of the time.
My husband owns his own business and works out of our home. He would come down stairs and help out when he could. There were times I was very grateful when he was done working for the day and able to take over with the baby for a little while, but I also had an understanding that he needed a break, as well. Now, I'm back at work full time and he is with her during the day. My father in law comes to help out with her 3 days a week so my husband can work, and on the other 2 days my husband is mostly caring for our daughter. He will try to work around her naps and at night. When I get home, I take a quick shower and then I take over with her until dinner while he works, (he cooks), and one of us will put her to bed. I miss her during the day and I love seeing her when I get home, but it can also be exhausting. Do I expect him to just keep caring for her once I get home so I can get some time to myself? No. Is it fair to expect me to take care of her every single night and during the weekend? No...we compromise. We share time. That is what fair adults do. I think many SAHM's feel the need to validate their lives...to make sure people know being a SAHM is a 'full time job' and 'I have it hard, too.' They resent their husbands because they get to be with adults all day and get away, yet they seem to forget their husbands are the ones providing for them...their husbands going to work each day is the reason they are able to be at home with their children in the first place. I'm not sure SAHM would work for me...again...maybe it gets better as the child grows, but after time I couldn't do it anymore.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
