Why do stay-at-home moms complain so much? (childcare, maternity, bullying)

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by maciesmom

In my experience SAHMs don't complain any more than anyone else does, so I'd mark it up to venting - which they are entitled to do just like anyone else. Because, you know....humans.

Shrug.

Originally Posted by Spuggy

For the same reasons other mothers who work outside the home complain, a need to vent.

Yes, this.

[Irish Eyes]

Maybe the ones you know spend too much time with awful, judgemental women who aren't really their friends.

[PriscillaVanilla]

Originally Posted by War Beagle

I know several SAHMs who seemingly do nothing but complain and are extremely resentful. If you didn't know better, you would think they have the worst lives. They complain about everything from chores, to shopping, to husbands and whatever else they can think of. These are women with nice houses, no reasons to be materially stressed, and husbands who seem to be good men with well-paying jobs. One even has a cleaning lady. All of this is compounded when they get together and it becomes a contest to see who has the worst life and the biggest clod of a husband.d.[/b]

Lots of people complain about their jobs. SAHMs are no different. in fact, almost everyone I know has some level of discontent with their career which they express quite often. Usually, it's fear of getting canned at any given moment.

[PriscillaVanilla]

Originally Posted by Dltordj

SAHM or working mom-both need to vent sometimes. I hated being a SAHM. I felt like a doormat, got sick of people asking me to do this or that because I didn't work, hated mom groups with a passion, not making my own money, etc..

The only thing I don't like about mom groups is lots of women in MLMs have infiltrated these groups and try to recruit other members in them. Other than that, MOPS and the other groups I've been in, have been great.

[Sassybluesy]

I USED to be a SAHM. It was before social media, so I didn't really have anyone to complain to. But there were times I really missed adult interaction, and missed having my own money.


But I LOVED getting to raise my babies, and doing fun stuff with them, and taking them places.


Let's also toss into the SAHM salad bowl, the fact that young mothers are hormonal, and if they're stay at home...there is no sounding board or anyone to talk off the edge. My ex got the brunt of that sometimes. Maybe it has something to do with us being exes. lol

[War Beagle]

Originally Posted by Irish Eyes

Maybe the ones you know spend too much time with awful, judgemental women who aren't really their friends.

There could be something to this. One of them is on Facebook mommy groups all day and she seems to spend a good amount of time trying to prove how she is the best mom and the others are terrible

[AlaskaAma]

OP, I think your guesses as to what's behind the complaining are reasonable, but I suspect that, as other posters have suggested, SAHMs don't really complain more than anyone else.

We humans have a tendency to focus on negative things rather than positive, whatever our circumstances.It's very easy to get caught in a my-life-is-worse trap when having conversations with others if one is not intentional about avoiding it. Afterall, who wants to be the person who "brags" about how good she has it when other moms are talking about their difficulties? I think there might also be an additional dynamic that in some circles it is fashionable to try to one-up people with how hard you have it, and my purely anecdotal observation is that this is more common among those who, to an outside observer, shouldn't have much to complain about.

For myself, I know being able to staying with my son is the best thing for him. Whil there are moments when I get really frustrated with some aspects of being a SAHM, i try to remind myself daily that it is a blessing that I am able to do so.

[codergirl]

I believe most of the unrest in their lives might have to do with the # 2....wasting a degree...not doing anything with it...but no matter what..it was still a choice that that person made.Why not use your degree 1st and then think about starting a family later?..BUT then you would have some say that they're on some sort of time clock and such...
I feel that unfortunately this is something that a lot of women don't think about UNTIL they're in that situation and then they begin to miss out on what could have been...
We all still have choices to make...sometime it's financial.Maybe it makes more sense for the woman to stay at home while the guy works because maybe he makes more money or vice versa??Who knows.
I feel that going to school to earn a degree to just end up being a stay at home mom in the end is a waste.It would be best if they could at least find a way to work pt out of the house BUT that doesn't seem to work as well.Daycare is very expensive so maybe some are just stuck with that option to stay at home while the other works out of the home.

[annabanana123]

I think it has to do with being fulfilled and happy with the life they chose. It goes both ways. I know SAHMs who absolutely love it and have never wanted to go back to work and others who hate it and resent their husband for not letting them go back. I also know working moms in both boats. Heck not just moms but dads too. The key is being honest with yourself and your family and figuring out what will work best while keeping everyone relatively happy. Also some people will never ever be happy. I know a SAHM who has a nanny, maid and chef and is still always complaining. On the flip side I know a mom who works 80+ hours a week and still does it all at home and almost never does.

[coschristi]

Fun times? Mom's groups? A whole day of baby & me; lalalala?

I woke up on a different planet. Late.