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View Poll Results: Which would you rather...
A 38 76.00%
B 12 24.00%
Voters: 50. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-26-2018, 05:53 AM
 
3,844 posts, read 2,099,091 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zesty2 View Post
Why didn't you ask them when they lost their virginity?

I agree with A though because the potential is there.

If need be, you could make the kid do a breathlyzer test every day and a drug test every week to prevent those 2 things.

If the kid is inherently lazy and uneducated, there's not much you can do there to fix that.
And of course other tests...



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Old 01-26-2018, 08:10 AM
 
174 posts, read 54,563 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zesty2 View Post
You had a ton of free time because you had no social life, which means no one you'd want to be with knew you.

If you had a social life with all that, there's no way you'd have time for a relationship too.


hmm. I had like 3/4 really good friends and a boyfriend who later came out as gay. He was on the football team too.
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Old 01-26-2018, 09:08 AM
 
189 posts, read 59,646 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zesty2 View Post
I couldn't disagree more.

Trying to make a lazy kid care is the hardest thing about working with kids because anything you use to punish them is irrelevant because they don't care.

A self indulgent personality is easy to steer because you have so many elements you can remove that they care about to point them in the right direction.

I know a girl who was drinking and doing drugs at 11 and she goes to a top university now with a tough major. It looks like she's still addicted to the drinking and drugs though.

But her future's probably fine.
This x10000000. People keep parroting this "I'll whipp'em into shape" narrative, but people don't change just like that. You either have a drive to be great or you don't. Option B is a loser, and I have a feeling this is some secret (or not so secret) purity test type of questioning. If they are smoking, drinking, or having sex, they must be heathens and no amount productivity will ever make them more than a sub-human devil worshiper.
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Old 01-26-2018, 09:38 AM
 
11,642 posts, read 11,190,814 times
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I chose A; nothing wrong with smoking, drinking, and having sex. Those are issues that are greatly exaggerated regarding the negativity of them. Many people abuse those things, but nothing in your example suggests abuse.
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Old 01-26-2018, 09:48 AM
 
Location: Finland
6,314 posts, read 4,900,994 times
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A for sure. I wouldn't be happy about the smoking but it's easier to kick that habit young than change completely into a motivated person.
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Old 01-26-2018, 10:16 AM
 
816 posts, read 488,173 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zesty2 View Post
I couldn't disagree more.

Trying to make a lazy kid care is the hardest thing about working with kids because anything you use to punish them is irrelevant because they don't care.

A self indulgent personality is easy to steer because you have so many elements you can remove that they care about to point them in the right direction.

I know a girl who was drinking and doing drugs at 11 and she goes to a top university now with a tough major. It looks like she's still addicted to the drinking and drugs though.

But her future's probably fine.
I have a bag of tricks. Send your lazy teenager my way.... lol, jk

Sorry but if self indulgence was an easy trait to fix a whole industry of rehab facilities would be out of business. (As would bariatric centers). I have had the unfortunate opportunity of dealing with a slew of ‘functioning’ addicts (I use the term functioning loosely- essentially meaning they are not on the streets- yet) and the one thing every last one of them had in common is an early-in-life love affair with alcohol and or drugs. They do not do ‘just fine’ and the train wreck that becomes their lives takes lots of people along for that ride simply because they are not that cliche addict on the street. Do all of them end up that way? No. But a great many kids that start drinking early become adults with drinking problems. Same with any other drug. Whatever leads them to seek that kind of eacape that early in life seems to follow them for the rest of their days.

A kid that smart knows better. For them to know better and indulge in those things anyway at an age where they can’t legally obtain them sets off all kind of red flags to me. I’d be less alarmed if we were talking about an 18 year old college student. But sixteen? At that age one is just barely starting to become an adult. No matter how smart, that’s still- for all intents and purposes, a kid.

A lot of people are just afraid their kids wont like them if they discipline them. Kids don't just become lazy. They are allowed to be. In this scenario if school isnt their thing fine, but the kid would need to find out what their thing is and absolutely wont be spending all day staring into a phone. To me, thats fixable a lot easier than the former whom i can bet you money will point to the fact that they are an A+ student as justification for why his/her other behavior is not an issue. They always do.

Last edited by BLDSoon; 01-26-2018 at 10:34 AM..
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Old 01-26-2018, 10:40 AM
 
3,258 posts, read 1,204,284 times
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I would prefer A. The only real issue is the cigarettes but they are likely to eventually get a BF/gf who pressures them to quit or they'd quit when they have kids. The vast majority of professionally successful people look down on smokers so I doubt that they'd be a regular smoker. The worst case is a possible cig or 2 while out at the bar.
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Old 01-26-2018, 01:08 PM
 
Location: Shawnee-on-Delaware, PA
3,485 posts, read 3,000,799 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redguitar77111 View Post
Would you rather have a 16-year-old son/daughter who:

A. is a straight-A student, takes honors classes, has an after-school/weekend/summer job, participates in lots of extracarriculars, volunteers a lot, and does lots of chores but smokes cigarettes, drinks beer, and is sexually active

B: Is a failing student, takes the most basic classes available, and does nothing but use their smartphone after school but would never smoke, drink, or have sex
LOL I voted A but that's because IRL I have two sons. If I had two daughters I would have voted B.
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Old 01-26-2018, 01:39 PM
 
5,791 posts, read 4,340,505 times
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A. That was me, although I didn't start having sex until a little later, and the cigarettes had marijuana in them (I've never smoked a tobacco cigarette). It's nice to be able to accomplish a lot, and when I set my mind to it, I did.
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Old 01-26-2018, 03:27 PM
 
1,559 posts, read 1,316,085 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redguitar77111 View Post
Would you rather have a 16-year-old son/daughter who:

A. is a straight-A student, takes honors classes, has an after-school/weekend/summer job, participates in lots of extracarriculars, volunteers a lot, and does lots of chores but smokes cigarettes, drinks beer, and is sexually active

B: Is a failing student, takes the most basic classes available, and does nothing but use their smartphone after school but would never smoke, drink, or have sex
I'm shocked there's even one vote for "B." An intelligent, well-rounded teen is suddenly worse than a do-nothing, "failing student" because the former has sex? Cigarettes are terrible for one's health, but it's not uncommon for teens to go through a phase of smoking them. Who cares? The fact someone thinks the hardworking teen who volunteers, works, and does well in school is the one on a "destructive path" is absolutely bonkers and has no basis in reality.
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