U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
View Poll Results: Which would you rather...
A 39 76.47%
B 12 23.53%
Voters: 51. You may not vote on this poll

Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-29-2018, 01:14 PM
 
Location: Watervliet, NY
3,324 posts, read 1,053,031 times
Reputation: 5971

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by redguitar77111 View Post
Would you rather have a 16-year-old son/daughter who:

A. is a straight-A student, takes honors classes, has an after-school/weekend/summer job, participates in lots of extracarriculars, volunteers a lot, and does lots of chores but smokes cigarettes, drinks beer, and is sexually active

B: Is a failing student, takes the most basic classes available, and does nothing but use their smartphone after school but would never smoke, drink, or have sex
IMO you're not likely to see the first student self-abusing themselves with cigarettes and beer if they are so focused on high achievements, and they won't have time to be having sex. My oldest brother was like that, and so are both of his sons - they are both A-students, both have been working summers as soon as they were old enough to, and both are high school Varsity athletes with several Sectional Championships between them (football, cross-country). My oldest nephew is co-captain of the Nordic ski team, and has been racing several times per week since the end of December, and the younger one is on the indoor track team. The oldest is also heavily into music, and is a soloist in one of the school bands.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-29-2018, 03:11 PM
 
15,437 posts, read 13,007,181 times
Reputation: 33852
Hmmmm. Answer A describes my daughter to a T, and come to think of it, describes me at that age too. I turned out just fine and so will she.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-29-2018, 03:12 PM
 
15,437 posts, read 13,007,181 times
Reputation: 33852
Quote:
Originally Posted by ContraPagan View Post
IMO you're not likely to see the first student self-abusing themselves with cigarettes and beer if they are so focused on high achievements, and they won't have time to be having sex. My oldest brother was like that, and so are both of his sons - they are both A-students, both have been working summers as soon as they were old enough to, and both are high school Varsity athletes with several Sectional Championships between them (football, cross-country). My oldest nephew is co-captain of the Nordic ski team, and has been racing several times per week since the end of December, and the younger one is on the indoor track team. The oldest is also heavily into music, and is a soloist in one of the school bands.
So none of these young men are having sex?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-29-2018, 11:05 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
9,244 posts, read 13,052,668 times
Reputation: 19160
A
By the time they are 21 they'll probably be having sex and drinking anyway, and those things aren't necessarily addictions. Lots of people are able to enjoy drinking in moderation, and sex addiction isn't exactly common.
At 16 it shouldn't be that difficult to get a motivated kid to stop smoking, they haven't been doing it long enough for it to be a nearly unbreakable habit. (Probably a lot easier than trying to motivate a kid who isn't showing much concern for anything in his/her life but a phone)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-30-2018, 07:14 AM
 
Location: Watervliet, NY
3,324 posts, read 1,053,031 times
Reputation: 5971
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
So none of these young men are having sex?
My nephews? Highly doubt it. They're exactly like their father was, too busy. My oldest has ski races every single weekend from the end of December into March, and sometimes during the week, too. He was in Rochester NY last weekend and is racing at Dewey Mountain in Saranac today, and I suspect this weekend's Empire State Games is also on his agenda. Two weekends ago he did both a 10K and 11K race - you have to TRAIN to race those distances.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-30-2018, 03:41 PM
 
12,296 posts, read 11,738,817 times
Reputation: 16724
Quote:
Originally Posted by ContraPagan View Post
IMO you're not likely to see the first student self-abusing themselves with cigarettes and beer if they are so focused on high achievements, and they won't have time to be having sex. My oldest brother was like that, and so are both of his sons - they are both A-students, both have been working summers as soon as they were old enough to, and both are high school Varsity athletes with several Sectional Championships between them (football, cross-country). My oldest nephew is co-captain of the Nordic ski team, and has been racing several times per week since the end of December, and the younger one is on the indoor track team. The oldest is also heavily into music, and is a soloist in one of the school bands.
Lol, as a teen, sex takes all of five minutes, if even that. Hardly a time consuming task.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-30-2018, 09:28 PM
 
866 posts, read 532,350 times
Reputation: 1347
Quote:
Originally Posted by bufflove View Post
I'm shocked there's even one vote for "B." An intelligent, well-rounded teen is suddenly worse than a do-nothing, "failing student" because the former has sex? Cigarettes are terrible for one's health, but it's not uncommon for teens to go through a phase of smoking them. Who cares? The fact someone thinks the hardworking teen who volunteers, works, and does well in school is the one on a "destructive path" is absolutely bonkers and has no basis in reality.
Really? I’m shocked that there are so many people that are okay with underage drinking and smoking and to some extent sex, as long as the kid does well in school. All three of those are very adult things. If those are okay for 16 year olds to engage in, why the tobacco, alcohol and statutory rape laws? We can’t have our cake and eat it too.

Do these 16 year old drinkers drive? And i guess their parents assume they are smart enough to handle sexual activity and its consequences. (See the see the my 17 year old knocked up a girl thread). As for the smoking.... yeah, that’s an easy habit to kick... might as well get started early.

Why not just lower the legal drinking age then? Most kids are ‘good’ anyway, why not let them unwind with a cig and a beer after school if they want to?

Just because a child will be doing something five years from now does not mean they can go ahead and do it today. I don’t understand the rush for a sophomore in high school to get wasted anyway. ( And no at that age they aren't drinking for leisure) Eleven year olds have to wait five years to legally drive. Oh well, maybe they should get on the road early too... you know, as long as they get good grades.

I mean really....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-30-2018, 10:29 PM
 
Location: Pahoa Hawaii
2,082 posts, read 4,490,034 times
Reputation: 2751
I’d rather have a puppy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-31-2018, 10:54 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
9,244 posts, read 13,052,668 times
Reputation: 19160
Quote:
Originally Posted by BLDSoon View Post
Really? Iím shocked that there are so many people that are okay with underage drinking and smoking and to some extent sex, as long as the kid does well in school. All three of those are very adult things. If those are okay for 16 year olds to engage in, why the tobacco, alcohol and statutory rape laws? We canít have our cake and eat it too.

Do these 16 year old drinkers drive? And i guess their parents assume they are smart enough to handle sexual activity and its consequences. (See the see the my 17 year old knocked up a girl thread). As for the smoking.... yeah, thatís an easy habit to kick... might as well get started early.

Why not just lower the legal drinking age then? Most kids are Ďgoodí anyway, why not let them unwind with a cig and a beer after school if they want to?

Just because a child will be doing something five years from now does not mean they can go ahead and do it today. I donít understand the rush for a sophomore in high school to get wasted anyway. ( And no at that age they aren't drinking for leisure) Eleven year olds have to wait five years to legally drive. Oh well, maybe they should get on the road early too... you know, as long as they get good grades.

I mean really....
Jeez, nobody is saying they advocate that lifestyle for a teen. Simply that in a hypothetical situation of this vs that, it would be the choice of most posters to work with the more motivated teen rather than the one that has no apparent ambition. If you think quitting cigs is hard, try motivating a slacker.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-31-2018, 12:17 PM
 
Location: Bella Vista, Ark
68,178 posts, read 78,081,101 times
Reputation: 37452
Quote:
Originally Posted by redguitar77111 View Post
Would you rather have a 16-year-old son/daughter who:

A. is a straight-A student, takes honors classes, has an after-school/weekend/summer job, participates in lots of extracarriculars, volunteers a lot, and does lots of chores but smokes cigarettes, drinks beer, and is sexually active

B: Is a failing student, takes the most basic classes available, and does nothing but use their smartphone after school but would never smoke, drink, or have sex
well first of all; there is no such thing as a child that would never do thus and so. They may think they will not do something, but saying and doing are 2 different stories. I can think of a lot of things i didn't think I would ever do. Not only as a teen but as a grandparent.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2017, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top