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Old 01-25-2018, 06:06 PM
 
1 posts, read 1,622 times
Reputation: 10

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My son is 27 and has a girlfriend he has been dating for 2 years. She is easily the laziest woman I have ever met. Granted, my son is making stupid decisions about the relationship as well. He met her online and she moved into his apartment after just two months. He got her a job at the local Wal-Mart and though she didn't drive it was just about a ten minute walk. She quit that job after just three weeks saying it was too hard (she was working in dairy).

She then got another job as a hostess at red robins but quit that due to not liking her coworkers, she then got a job at a subway but quit that after a month. My son lost his job and he and his girlfriend moved in with me. He finally managed to get a job and got her another job at Macy's but shortly quit that one as well. So while my son was at work she would just stay in his room on her phone, computer etc not doing anything. When I would try to talk to her she would brush me aside, keep saying she was depressed and never felt well. Eventually his car broke down and when he got another one, come to find out he put her name on the title as well

She got ANOTHER job at a mazzios at which point my son managed to get a trailer about 20 minutes away. Well, he put her name on it too

It doesn't have any real furnishings aside from a bed, no washer/dryer etc. And, surprise surprise, after they moved she quit that job saying she didn't want to drive that far.

And now my son is telling me she has been talking about marriage and kids and he is considering it.

As you can see, this whole thing is a huge train wreck and this woman is all kinds of lazy, doesn't want to work and is taking my son for a ride. A ride he is always willing to keep getting on I might add. I just don't get why my son is being so stupid about all of this!
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Old 01-25-2018, 06:23 PM
 
12,665 posts, read 18,899,588 times
Reputation: 32430
Your son is 27. It's time for him to make his own choices, for better or worse. And remember, that lazy woman could end up being the mother of your grandchildren. Zip your lip, play nice and have faith that the man you rise has some common sense.
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Old 01-25-2018, 07:12 PM
 
Location: Santa Monica, CA
14,422 posts, read 4,363,855 times
Reputation: 9928
Sad but your son is not thinking with the right head.
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Old 01-25-2018, 07:21 PM
 
Location: planet earth
1,054 posts, read 377,710 times
Reputation: 2555
"Your children are not your children . . . " Kahlil Gibran
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Old 01-25-2018, 07:22 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
13,811 posts, read 19,563,939 times
Reputation: 18757
Your son is an adult, he needs to make his own choices. I did something similar in my early 20’s and had to learn for myself I deserved better.

Depending on your relationship you could sit him down and talk to him about happiness he deserves. I think if my parents did that in a loving way I may have listened. I didn’t feel I deserved someone better. Maybe your son is going through the same feelings.

That said, if you do that, you may cause a large rift. You know him best and how he’d react.
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Old 01-25-2018, 07:43 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
10,560 posts, read 17,590,105 times
Reputation: 23946
Obviously your son is making enough to support himself and his girlfriend. If that's what he wants to do, it's his business.
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Old 01-25-2018, 08:07 PM
 
Location: Santa Monica, CA
14,422 posts, read 4,363,855 times
Reputation: 9928
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
Obviously your son is making enough to support himself and his girlfriend. If that's what he wants to do, it's his business.
OP Did say at a point both were out of work and moved in with her. How often will this happen. I know our children are not ours but they keep wanting to come back to be taken care of. Many anyway. My daughter made some mistakes before marriage but pulled herself up and got herself good work and place to live and never asked to come home to me. She is very independent. That is good.
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Old 01-25-2018, 08:30 PM
 
Location: Arkansas
3,841 posts, read 1,285,810 times
Reputation: 8251
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaminhealth View Post
Sad but your son is not thinking with the right head.
Yes. He's thinking with his other head, that's for sure.
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Old 01-25-2018, 08:31 PM
 
426 posts, read 116,627 times
Reputation: 229
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mareeinie View Post
My son is 27 and has a girlfriend he has been dating for 2 years. She is easily the laziest woman I have ever met. Granted, my son is making stupid decisions about the relationship as well. He met her online and she moved into his apartment after just two months. He got her a job at the local Wal-Mart and though she didn't drive it was just about a ten minute walk. She quit that job after just three weeks saying it was too hard (she was working in dairy).

She then got another job as a hostess at red robins but quit that due to not liking her coworkers, she then got a job at a subway but quit that after a month. My son lost his job and he and his girlfriend moved in with me. He finally managed to get a job and got her another job at Macy's but shortly quit that one as well. So while my son was at work she would just stay in his room on her phone, computer etc not doing anything. When I would try to talk to her she would brush me aside, keep saying she was depressed and never felt well. Eventually his car broke down and when he got another one, come to find out he put her name on the title as well

She got ANOTHER job at a mazzios at which point my son managed to get a trailer about 20 minutes away. Well, he put her name on it too

It doesn't have any real furnishings aside from a bed, no washer/dryer etc. And, surprise surprise, after they moved she quit that job saying she didn't want to drive that far.

And now my son is telling me she has been talking about marriage and kids and he is considering it.

As you can see, this whole thing is a huge train wreck and this woman is all kinds of lazy, doesn't want to work and is taking my son for a ride. A ride he is always willing to keep getting on I might add. I just don't get why my son is being so stupid about all of this!


No one wants to ask the obvious, so I'll do it.

Is she physically attractive and/or from a rich family?

Many people will tolerate being treated like they were born in the gutter to marry a beautiful woman or inherit wealth.

I know you say they are staying in a trailer, but the woman might just be currently cut off from her family right now.

If either of these are true, most of his friends probably support his choices, so it's going to be much harder to get him to see the light.

If neither is true though, I would point out everything you told us because all his friends are probably thinking the same thing.
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Old 01-25-2018, 08:36 PM
 
1,980 posts, read 1,178,780 times
Reputation: 1840
Let your son live the life he wants. In your eyes, maybe this is the stupidest thing one can do, but maybe not in your son's mind.

If you really care about your son, here is what you can do. Talk to him nicely and explain everything to him in term of short term and long term down the road. Make sure he knows what to expect if he stick to his current plan. Once you explain everything, and he acknowledge it, your job is done.
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