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Old 01-30-2018, 09:24 PM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
10,638 posts, read 3,290,719 times
Reputation: 12745

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My 12 year old has anxiety as well. It's not to the point that it stops her from doing things or meeting friends, but she worries about everything!! I'm afraid if she doesn't learn how to control it now and relax that she will have health problems as a result of it later.
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Old 01-31-2018, 01:25 AM
 
5,703 posts, read 15,454,343 times
Reputation: 8514
I agree, that is one of my concerns as well. Funny, I thought parenting would get easier as my child got older but I find it harder. I had more control when he was young I guess. I remember the first time my son had a panic attack. He was 15 and just returned home from a friends house. He was acting weird and my first thought is he might have smoked some weed or something. He kept saying his chest hurt and he felt awful. He vomited and I figured it was the flu. He became more upset and started telling me he loved me. Kind of odd for him, I mean at that age. He kept complaining his chest hurt and then I noticed his hands were sweating so profusely that the sweat droplets were showing up on the hardwood floor. I had never seen anyone's palms sweat that much.

He asked if he could go to the ER. We left. The hospital is only a couple of miles away but it felt like 50 miles. He asked me to hold his hand on the way there. Lucky for us the ER wasn't busy at all. Triage took his blood pressure and that got everyone moving real quick. His blood pressure was so high and his heart rate they figured he had taken drugs or was having a serious medical issue. Heart issues run in my family and I was terrified he was having a serious heart problem. The Dr. was great and after some time recognized that it was a panic attack (of course after blood work etc). That started a long course for us.

Sometimes he would get a panic attack out of the blue. We would go on an outing and have to leave right away. He would feel bad, and to be honest it was frustrating. I would plan a great day for us and have to leave or turn around before we got there. It didn't seem to matter about the type of activity. This reduced his confidence greatly and would become depressed. Even fearful of things. He felt like he had no control. The meds help and I think as he is getting older he is dealing with it a bit better but he admits that sometimes he worries. In all honestly, going through this with him made me realize I am high anxiety. I would listen to him and the doctors and I would think to myself, damn. I do that. They just called it "being a worry wart" when I was a kid. No one realized including myself, that I wasn't just nervous about something like some people get, I was in complete high anxiety mode. Then I would hate myself for being so nervous. Why couldn't I still function like other people do? I finally asked for medication and it made the world of difference. I wish I would have known sooner.

I still struggle with how to deal with my son because his anxiety is different. The things that set me off don't bother him in the least and things he stresses over are things that wouldn't phase me. So even though, I realize I have an issue I still have a hard time helping him at times.
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Old 01-31-2018, 02:21 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
10,853 posts, read 18,813,173 times
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My kids both have OCD. I worry about my oldest being able to handle the stress of college in a few years. My younger daughter flies through her schoolwork and loves money and nice things, so I know she'll get through all her schooling without letting the OCD derail her.
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Old 01-31-2018, 07:50 AM
 
9,497 posts, read 7,590,520 times
Reputation: 17403
It is distressing to see so many fellow posters with children with emotional issues - you have my best wishes and empathy.

I have no children, but similar issues are common among the teens and young people in my extended family, particularly on one side of my family: BPD, anxiety, PTSD, schizo-affective disorder, fixations on religious and/or sexual matters, depression, and more, usually surfacing in the mid to late teens but occasionally with earlier indications of something being amiss with several of my young cousins.

One branch in particular seems to be hard-hit - and a generational pattern can be detected, making me strongly suspect that genetic issues are involved.

All of these young people are extremely bright, physically attractive, articulate, very verbal, creative and imaginative, and many are musically and/or artistically gifted as well. However, many seem quite immature for their ages, despite their obvious intelligence.

Just so sad to see them struggle...their families of origin are middle and upper middle class, college educated and loving people with the usual aspirations for their children.

Other young people in this same extended family share the positive traits but were spared the emotional fragility, and they are thriving. They received similar upbringings, so the genetic theory makes the most sense.
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Old 02-01-2018, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
24,682 posts, read 59,442,970 times
Reputation: 26723
Well at least no one said they are worried about their kids eating Tide Pods. (No one yet anyway).
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Old 02-01-2018, 03:31 PM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
24,682 posts, read 59,442,970 times
Reputation: 26723
Quote:
Originally Posted by fallingwater View Post
I agree, that is one of my concerns as well. Funny, I thought parenting would get easier as my child got older but I find it harder. I had more control when he was young I guess. I remember the first time my son had a panic attack. He was 15 and just returned home from a friends house. He was acting weird and my first thought is he might have smoked some weed or something. He kept saying his chest hurt and he felt awful. He vomited and I figured it was the flu. He became more upset and started telling me he loved me. Kind of odd for him, I mean at that age. He kept complaining his chest hurt and then I noticed his hands were sweating so profusely that the sweat droplets were showing up on the hardwood floor. I had never seen anyone's palms sweat that much.

He asked if he could go to the ER. We left. The hospital is only a couple of miles away but it felt like 50 miles. He asked me to hold his hand on the way there. Lucky for us the ER wasn't busy at all. Triage took his blood pressure and that got everyone moving real quick. His blood pressure was so high and his heart rate they figured he had taken drugs or was having a serious medical issue. Heart issues run in my family and I was terrified he was having a serious heart problem. The Dr. was great and after some time recognized that it was a panic attack (of course after blood work etc). That started a long course for us.

Sometimes he would get a panic attack out of the blue. We would go on an outing and have to leave right away. He would feel bad, and to be honest it was frustrating. I would plan a great day for us and have to leave or turn around before we got there. It didn't seem to matter about the type of activity. This reduced his confidence greatly and would become depressed. Even fearful of things. He felt like he had no control. The meds help and I think as he is getting older he is dealing with it a bit better but he admits that sometimes he worries. In all honestly, going through this with him made me realize I am high anxiety. I would listen to him and the doctors and I would think to myself, damn. I do that. They just called it "being a worry wart" when I was a kid. No one realized including myself, that I wasn't just nervous about something like some people get, I was in complete high anxiety mode. Then I would hate myself for being so nervous. Why couldn't I still function like other people do? I finally asked for medication and it made the world of difference. I wish I would have known sooner.

I still struggle with how to deal with my son because his anxiety is different. The things that set me off don't bother him in the least and things he stresses over are things that wouldn't phase me. So even though, I realize I have an issue I still have a hard time helping him at times.
My daughter gets these. Sometimes a work. She just stands there until it passes. Sometimes it is close to an hour.
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Old 03-06-2018, 11:12 PM
 
Location: Fullerton
1 posts, read 164 times
Reputation: 10
I wish someone would give me good advice. I am married and we have a 19 year old son. He is depressed and has finally agreed to see a psychologist and try medicine. The other issues are that he is mean, abusive, sometimes violent and uses us for our money. He has cussed at both of us and all my husband says is "ignore him" or he is depressed. I feel I am living in a crazy house. Our son barely works and takes one class at college. The other problem is my husband, who always makes excuses, feels sorry for him and asks nothing of him. We fight all the time and I am seriously thinking of leaving the both of them. I should feel empathy for my son, but all I feel is resentment and anger. He does nothing around the house and I can't ask anything of him or I get a ration of crap from both of them. I feel we have made this monster and nothing is changing. I am the breadwinner and my husband is retired. I resent working for a kid who can work. I want to retire in 5 years and have repeatedly told my husband I don't want to support an adult child. I see no hope in sight. Should I leave? I have nowhere to go and am afraid I can't afford two places. Please advise me on what to do.
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