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Old 02-03-2018, 02:46 PM
 
2,455 posts, read 1,665,067 times
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You need a real doctor. A specialist. Not a general petertrician, not a family practice, but an expert. She's bulimic and obviously has no interest in the one thing she should - school. And, very disturbing at her age, she's antisocial.


At her age (she's not 5 or 6 anymore) what you describe is very worrisome. First off - do not blame her. She has no control over this. What is done to (hopefully) correct this is very important to her, for her entire life, in fact.


This is serious stuff here. You need to contact the nearest University Medical Center (big one - Like the Univ of Michigan or its equivalent). with expert staff on childhood behavior disorders. You need to look into it - NOW!


Not an "expert" in this particular area, but this is unlikely just a "phase." For starters, she needs cytogenetics.


I can't believe the teacher/school hasn't already brought this up to you.
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Old 02-03-2018, 02:53 PM
Status: "Rain rain go away!" (set 24 days ago)
 
Location: 11235
1,236 posts, read 394,653 times
Reputation: 2476
Quote:
Originally Posted by calgirlinnc View Post
In 4th grade, I would expect the teacher to still send home a daily or weekly checklist of homework so that you could supervise. This needs to be implemented immediately.
This. If the teacher is sending you daily emails anyway, she could include assignments as part of that.


Quote:
Originally Posted by oregonwoodsmoke View Post
She needs her hearing checked, her vision checked, and to be evaluated for learning disabilities. I suspect she is not doing the work because she can't do the work and she is frustrated.

I would also have complete blood work done up to make sure there are no endocrine system imbalances. Because of eating disorders, but also for erratic behavior.

Is she ever anywhere unattended where she could be molested? Or even just bullied that you don't know about?

You need to change doctors. That one isn't doing his job.

Also this. There are numerous physical reasons she seems removed from the situation. What you say may be falling on deaf ears - literally.


Quote:
Originally Posted by okaydorothy View Post
Has anything changed at home in the past while? I agree with all the above, but also look at her surroundings, people she is with etc.
My history started about age 9 when we had a traumatic event at home. It wasn't taken care of properly.

This is also very true.

I would add that 3rd and 4th grade are tough for some reason. For one thing, you need to memorize a lot, especially times tables. Also, my interpretation of what an assignment was could be quite different from what the teacher actually wanted from me. Things got much easier after 4th grade.

Good luck. Your daughter is lucky to have such attentive parents.
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Old 02-03-2018, 03:20 PM
 
2,666 posts, read 1,052,154 times
Reputation: 5236
Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinbrookNine View Post
You need a real doctor. A specialist. Not a general petertrician, not a family practice, but an expert. She's bulimic and obviously has no interest in the one thing she should - school. And, very disturbing at her age, she's antisocial.


At her age (she's not 5 or 6 anymore) what you describe is very worrisome. First off - do not blame her. She has no control over this. What is done to (hopefully) correct this is very important to her, for her entire life, in fact.


This is serious stuff here. You need to contact the nearest University Medical Center (big one - Like the Univ of Michigan or its equivalent). with expert staff on childhood behavior disorders. You need to look into it - NOW!


Not an "expert" in this particular area, but this is unlikely just a "phase." For starters, she needs cytogenetics.


I can't believe the teacher/school hasn't already brought this up to you.
First you say she needs a real doctor and then you armchair diagnose her with bulimia? You have no clue why she is overeating. There could be some metabolic/thyroid issue, or some other medical condition that also results in behavior disorders. A doctor should do a variety of tests to rule out a physical cause before assuming it is a psychiatric/behavioral disorder. Then if they do that, they can go the route of getting a psychiatric evaluation. However, no amount of behavioral therapy is going to help someone if there is an underlying physical issue.
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Old 02-03-2018, 04:19 PM
 
2,455 posts, read 1,665,067 times
Reputation: 4206
Quote:
Originally Posted by MKB0925 View Post
I would look into a therapist for her, the school psychologist/social worker should be able to recommend someone local or even your pediatrician must have someone they would refer to.


As far as the missing assignments, my kids always had an "agenda" where they write all the assignments due the next day and the teacher would do a quick walk by and make sure all the kids wrote them down. I would see if you can set up this type of system with the teacher and then sit down with your daughter each night and make sure she is completing them.




Also, is the new behavior for her or has she had issues in previous school years?


Social worker comes later. NOT NOW! Doctor. Expert! Med Center. This kid may have a syndrome. We don't know. if you don't know what exactly it is, a SW is useless.
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Old 02-03-2018, 05:26 PM
 
Location: Rivendell
367 posts, read 286,957 times
Reputation: 1035
Quote:
Originally Posted by oregonwoodsmoke View Post
She needs her hearing checked, her vision checked, and to be evaluated for learning disabilities. I suspect she is not doing the work because she can't do the work and she is frustrated.

I would also have complete blood work done up to make sure there are no endocrine system imbalances. Because of eating disorders, but also for erratic behavior.

Is she ever anywhere unattended where she could be molested? Or even just bullied that you don't know about?

You need to change doctors. That one isn't doing his job.
Yes, all of this. It really sounds like something may have happened to her. She sounds like she's responding to something that she maybe doesn't even understand or can't explain. Could be something like dyslexia or could be molestation or a whole spectrum of things, but she really does need help. A medical workup is a good place to start and then looking into learning disabilities and also including a therapist of some kind possibly. She doesn't sound like a "bad kid" she sounds like someone who is hurting and trying to avoid/escape.
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Old 02-03-2018, 06:00 PM
 
3,469 posts, read 2,780,332 times
Reputation: 4350
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Many schools start to put the responsibility of writing homework assignments in their own assignment notebook/daily planner on the student by 2nd grade or maybe 3rd grade. Of course, usually the teacher has a system to check that they have written the assignments down and/or the parents have checked off that they have seen the assignment notebook, but the responsibility (especially by 4th grade) is mostly on the child not the teacher.
As others have mentioned, many districts have a system in place where parents can go online to check assignment due dates and test dates. We have this in our district, through high school. I get email alerts (and would get text alerts if I wanted them) every time a grade is posted for my son.

It's great that by 4th grade more responsibility is being put on the student, but parents need access to the information as well so they can help keep their child accountable.

Teacher/parent communication is one of the most important factors in a child's success, especially at the elementary level.
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Old 02-03-2018, 06:17 PM
 
3,469 posts, read 2,780,332 times
Reputation: 4350
Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinbrookNine View Post
You need a real doctor. A specialist. Not a general petertrician, not a family practice, but an expert. She's bulimic and obviously has no interest in the one thing she should - school. And, very disturbing at her age, she's antisocial.


At her age (she's not 5 or 6 anymore) what you describe is very worrisome. First off - do not blame her. She has no control over this. What is done to (hopefully) correct this is very important to her, for her entire life, in fact.


This is serious stuff here. You need to contact the nearest University Medical Center (big one - Like the Univ of Michigan or its equivalent). with expert staff on childhood behavior disorders. You need to look into it - NOW!


Not an "expert" in this particular area, but this is unlikely just a "phase." For starters, she needs cytogenetics.


I can't believe the teacher/school hasn't already brought this up to you.
Cytogenetics?

I had to Google that and still don't know what it means.

I agree with the rest except the bulimia.
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Old 02-04-2018, 12:10 AM
 
Location: Staten Island, NY
2,451 posts, read 657,444 times
Reputation: 1862
Quote:
Originally Posted by KenBrookMom View Post
Looking for any advice. My 9 year old daughter has been struggling at school in 3rd and 4th grade. Its to the point that I think her teacher is hinting towards holding her back. She comes home every night and we ask what school work she has, she tells us she has nothing to do except read for 15 minutes. I get emails from her teacher almost weekly about her missing 5-10 assignments. We do what we can to make them up but I can't understand why it won't stop. When her teacher asks her why she didn't do the work, she tells him she didn't know about it or just doesn't respond. When we ask her why she didn't do it, she says she lost it. Sometimes I wonder if she isn't throwing it away.

Besides the school work issue, she also makes and loses friends daily. Always drama and always hurt feelings. Her teacher has mentioned that kids don't want to be around her because of how bossy and moody she can become. We have SO many talks to her about this. About kindness and sharing. Treating others how you want to be treated. She seems to be agreeable on what we say but doesn't give much for feedback.

She also overeats without our knowledge. Examples: sneaking food late at night, telling people she hasn't eaten when she just did, etc. Constantly saying she's hungry and asking for seconds. We have also had an unbelievable amount of discussions with her about this topic. We talk to her about future health issues, tummy aches, diabetes, heart problems. She seems agreeable here as well, but again, offers no feedback. Just shakes her head yes. I think it all falls on deaf ears and it out of her brain as soon as the discussion ends.

I have asked the school if they have any resources on any behavior classes or counseling for kids like her and I get nothing. They tell me to go to her doctor. Her doctor only seems to focus on her weight and doesn't seem to hear me when I mention the other issues. I truly don't think its an ADD related issue from the research I've done on the disorder. Any words of advice would be deeply appreciated.
When did these changes start? To me and, I hope I am wrong. But, these are the classic signs of child abuse. You need to dig down into this and see what's going on. I would seriously consider removing her from each and every situation that she has been involved with as far back as you can go and get her into therapy and drill down into what's going on with her.
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Old 02-04-2018, 02:56 AM
 
70 posts, read 89,605 times
Reputation: 42
I agree that it looks like the school and doctor aren't doing anything to help and that it's time to get professional help. If it's not ADD, it sounds like there could be some other kind of learning disability or anxiety. As well as other issues mentioned upthread, bullying (in person or cyberbullying) could be another possibility.

This is a long shot (and I hope I'm wrong) but you may want to look at Prader-Willi Syndrome (PWS), which would account for the appetite and behavioral issues as well as the school difficulties.

"An unregulated appetite and easy weight gain characterize the later stages of PWS. These features most commonly begin between ages 3 and 8 years old, but are variable in onset and intensity. Individuals with PWS lack normal hunger and satiety cues. They usually are not able to control their food intake and will overeat if not closely monitored. Food seeking behaviors are very common"
https://www.fpwr.org/about-prader-willi-syndrome/

"People with Prader-Willi syndrome typically have mild to moderate intellectual impairment and learning disabilities. Behavioral problems are common, including temper outbursts, stubbornness"
https://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition/pr...ome#definition

https://medlineplus.gov/praderwillisyndrome.html

Good luck with finding some answers! As a parent I know the helpless feeling of seeing problems with my kids and not being sure what's wrong.
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Old 02-04-2018, 07:11 AM
 
2,585 posts, read 3,139,142 times
Reputation: 1447
Moreso. I believe you need to take her to a pediatric Psychiatrist.
I had four sons whom I raised myself. Your little one sounds exactly like him.
Fabricating stories to get out of homework, eating too much and sneaking food and other behaviors you are attributing to her misbehaviors. I still care for my son and he is 28 yrs.
old.
I would do as oregonsmoke says , however I am quite sure she needs counseling.The earlier the better.
She may be emotionally impaired and dyslexic. I am a laymen of course,
but I have a lot of experience at this. I have been through the entire process and know "the ropes"
if you will. Message me if you would like to know more of what I learned.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oregonwoodsmoke View Post
She needs her hearing checked, her vision checked, and to be evaluated for learning disabilities. I suspect she is not doing the work because she can't do the work and she is frustrated.

I would also have complete blood work done up to make sure there are no endocrine system imbalances. Because of eating disorders, but also for erratic behavior.

Is she ever anywhere unattended where she could be molested? Or even just bullied that you don't know about?

You need to change doctors. That one isn't doing his job.
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