U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Happy Thanksgiving Day!
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-22-2008, 04:21 PM
 
Location: 'Burbs of Manhattan
468 posts, read 1,067,507 times
Reputation: 130

Advertisements

Well, I am a teenager. 15 years of age.
And, i was wondering what your rules on some things.

What is your view on your child drinking / smoking / using drugs?
Do they have a cell phone? if so, do have they unlimited texting?
Do they have chores? If so, what are they?
Do you allow them to shop anywhere at whatever price? Or do you make them shop at stores you "approve" of, financially and look-wise?
Are your kids in honors / advanced placement?
Do you attend church? If so, does your child like it?
Do you have a friendship with your child? Do they lie to you?
Do you ever ground your child? If so, what are the usual punishments?
Do you ever deny your child a night out with friends? If no, Are you usually driving and like it?

Alright. Those seem to be my major questions. Haha.
But, I just want to compare my life / parents to how you guys raise your teenagers. =D
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-22-2008, 06:42 PM
 
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,249 posts, read 11,677,268 times
Reputation: 3587
Quote:
Originally Posted by metropolistraffic View Post
Well, I am a teenager. 15 years of age.
And, i was wondering what your rules on some things.

What is your view on your child drinking / smoking / using drugs?
Do they have a cell phone? if so, do have they unlimited texting?
Do they have chores? If so, what are they?
Do you allow them to shop anywhere at whatever price? Or do you make them shop at stores you "approve" of, financially and look-wise?
Are your kids in honors / advanced placement?
Do you attend church? If so, does your child like it?
Do you have a friendship with your child? Do they lie to you?
Do you ever ground your child? If so, what are the usual punishments?
Do you ever deny your child a night out with friends? If no, Are you usually driving and like it?

Alright. Those seem to be my major questions. Haha.
But, I just want to compare my life / parents to how you guys raise your teenagers. =D
1. Yes they have a phone and yes they can text all they want BUT the phones are turned off every school night at 11PM.
2.Yes. They are to wash the dishes, vacume the house and clean their bathroom (not ours).
3. No they may not shop just anywhere. But I do not force them to shop at Wal*Mart all the time either. My daughter likes places like 5-2-9 in the mall and the prices there are reasonable. The boys liked Sears as well.
4. My daughter is in honours classes and will graduate in June. My boys were not. They made it though high school as C students basically.
5. We attend church sometimes and yes they like our church because the service is on Saturday and you don't have to dress up for it. Even the minister wears jeans!
6. No we are not "friends". I am a parent, they are kids. And do you know to tell when a teenager is lying? Their LIPS are moving!
7. Yes they have been grounded. I did take my daughter's cell phone for a month because when I got the bill I saw she had used it after 11PM. That really hurt her and we have not had any more of that trouble.
8. My teenagers can go out on weekend nights. I have driven them to the movies and picked them up. More often than not they ride with friend who drive. I do not allow mine to get full licenses until they are 18. Nobody under 18 should have a full driver's license in my view.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-22-2008, 09:18 PM
 
4,476 posts, read 6,031,416 times
Reputation: 3637
I have a 14 year old.

1. My views on drinking, smoking, doing drugs - we talk a lot about different things. Especially the repercussions of decisions you make in life and the long term effects. My son doesn't comprehend why someone would smoke or do drugs. As far as drinking - he's seen first hand when we've been to concerts how stupid people behave when drunk. Take your kids to concerts - it's a great eye opening, learning tool for at least my son.
2.Yes, he has a cell phone and yes - he has unlimited texting. And he pays for it himself with wages from his job (he works for the family business). We do not give him an allowance of sorts.
3. Yes, he has chores - his room, his bathroom, during the summer he does the majority of the cooking (he likes to do it, I hate it, it works out well).
4. Shopping. He has a special teen card (the upside card) that I load with a certain amount each month. He then uses that card to purchase his essentials - shampoo, deodorant, clothes, etc. It forces him to make good choices about what he wants to buy and what's really important. Want those expensive shoes? Well if you don't have money for shampoo or toothpaste then you might want to rethink. It's been a wonderful way to teach him the value of money and what he buys. He's become a coupon clipper
5. Yes, he is in all honors classes.
6. We are atheist so no, we do not attend church. But we have always encouraged him to make decisions for himself and figure out what HE wants to believe.
7. Do I have a friendship with my child? We are very close, we like to do things together. In some respects, we are buddies, but at the end of the day, I am really the tougher parent and what we say goes and we don't go back on our word. I don't cave so he knows where I stand and what will be the end result.
8. It's been awhile, but yes, he's been grounded. Usually computer and xbox taken away.
9. Our son is a total homebody. His best friend is 2 streets down so either he is at their house or his friend is here. He isn't interested in nights out at this point. If he was, I would be the driver most likely. He's never embarrassed to have me around.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-22-2008, 10:43 PM
 
Location: Hollywood/Brookfield, IL
677 posts, read 3,092,151 times
Reputation: 338
What is your view on your child drinking / smoking / using drugs?
Like the previous poster, my daughter and I have talked about these things and the consequences, and she has also seen firsthand at family gatherings how moronic people can act when drunk. My daughter knows that we don't approve of her drinking/smoking/using drugs but she will make her own decisions and learn from her own mistakes just like everyone else.

Do they have a cell phone? if so, do have they unlimited texting?
Yes and yes.

Do they have chores? If so, what are they?
Yes, walking the dogs, feeding the dogs, keeping her room clean, and doing her laundry. All of these things except for the laundry must be done before she can go out with her friends. We don't give her an allowance but if she's going somewhere with her friends we'll give her enough money for whatever they're doing. When she's older we'll give her an allowance so she can learn to be responsible with money but this works for now (she's 14).

Do you allow them to shop anywhere at whatever price? Or do you make them shop at stores you "approve" of, financially and look-wise?
She can shop anywhere within reason. I will not spend upwards of $50 on a pair of jeans, or anything equally excessive. She also got mad last time we went shopping when I wouldn't buy her sandals with a 3-inch heel. Because she doesn't have an allowance I'm usually with her when she's buying clothes or accessories and can make a judgment call.

Are your kids in honors / advanced placement?
She's only in 8th grade but she placed into the accelerated track at our high school so yes, she will be.

Do you attend church? If so, does your child like it?
No.

Do you have a friendship with your child? Do they lie to you?
Not a friendship but an open relationship. She has lied on occasion but generally we find out and then she loses her internet privilege, which is an extremely effective punishment.

Do you ever ground your child? If so, what are the usual punishments?
We don't believe in grounding specifically, because our home is not a prison, but she knows that if her chores are not done the next time she asks for something the answer will be "no". Really the only punishments we use are not letting her go out and taking away the internet. (AOL parental controls = awesome)

Do you ever deny your child a night out with friends? If no, Are you usually driving and like it?
I don't mind driving her and her friends because I like to know who she is hanging out with.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-23-2008, 04:37 AM
 
3,674 posts, read 7,110,648 times
Reputation: 2562
Quote:
Originally Posted by metropolistraffic View Post
Well, I am a teenager. 15 years of age.
And, i was wondering what your rules on some things.

What is your view on your child drinking / smoking / using drugs?
Do they have a cell phone? if so, do have they unlimited texting?
Do they have chores? If so, what are they?
Do you allow them to shop anywhere at whatever price? Or do you make them shop at stores you "approve" of, financially and look-wise?
Are your kids in honors / advanced placement?
Do you attend church? If so, does your child like it?
Do you have a friendship with your child? Do they lie to you?
Do you ever ground your child? If so, what are the usual punishments?
Do you ever deny your child a night out with friends? If no, Are you usually driving and like it?

Alright. Those seem to be my major questions. Haha.
But, I just want to compare my life / parents to how you guys raise your teenagers. =D
1) Are you kidding?
2) No. Too much of a vice.
3) Just help out AND KEEP YOU ROOM CLEAN!!!
4) Nope, it's their money to spend how they want.
5) No. Left that decision up to her.
6) Yes. She seems to. But, it's up to her.
7) Yes and Yes.
8) Yes. But not often or without good cause.
9) No and Yes

Now, let me say this- there is no pre-programmed way to raise a teenager. How one family does it doesn't make it the right way for another. I would say to respect your parents, ask for their respect as well and always keep open the lines of communication.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-23-2008, 07:58 AM
 
Location: In an alternate universe according to some, AKA Aspergers
10,679 posts, read 11,788,557 times
Reputation: 5173
Quote:
Originally Posted by metropolistraffic View Post
Well, I am a teenager. 15 years of age.
And, i was wondering what your rules on some things.

What is your view on your child drinking / smoking / using drugs?
Do they have a cell phone? if so, do have they unlimited texting?
Do they have chores? If so, what are they?
Do you allow them to shop anywhere at whatever price? Or do you make them shop at stores you "approve" of, financially and look-wise?
Are your kids in honors / advanced placement?
Do you attend church? If so, does your child like it?
Do you have a friendship with your child? Do they lie to you?
Do you ever ground your child? If so, what are the usual punishments?
Do you ever deny your child a night out with friends? If no, Are you usually driving and like it?

Alright. Those seem to be my major questions. Haha.
But, I just want to compare my life / parents to how you guys raise your teenagers. =D
1.We talked about it quite a bit (he's 16) and some of his friends chew/drink but no drugs I'm aware of. He's very dead set against it and he also knows we're dead set against it and he'd have hell to pay if he messed with it.

2.Yes he has a cell and no, texting is turned off. He only has a cell because we live in a rural area and need to stay in contact when he's out and about.

3.Absolutely! Dishes,garbage,mowing,snow shoveling,sometimes laundry, helping clean the house, cleaning his bathroom and bedroom and any other chores that pop up. We all have to earn money so why is he any different?

4.He has been raised to look for bargains and sales but also to buy well made products. It makes no sense to buy cheap stuff and have it self destruct in a short time when you can find something better made for a little more. He knows how to shop and compare, that being said it'd be a cold day in heck before he gets $150 tennis shoes or pants that sag to his knees....

5.Nope, he knows what he wants to do already and is moving towards that.

6.Nope, it's his choice if he wants to go or not.

7.To a point, but we are PARENTS first, and of course he lies to us! I've yet to meet a child who didn't. That being said he's never lied about anything real important as of yet. The idea is "trust but verify".

8.Yes he gets grounded, 1st from computer, 2nd from TV,3rd to his room with nothing but bed and a book. Depending on the offense it could last from one day to as long as a 2-3 weeks for the real severe ones.

9.Sometimes we deny him but alot depends on when he wants to go. During the school week at night then no way. He drives himself but phones us when he arrives and leaves. Again, we live a rural area where it snows so driving can be dangerous.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-23-2008, 08:41 AM
 
799 posts, read 1,246,335 times
Reputation: 495
1. What is your view on your child drinking / smoking / using drugs?
My kids are aware of my viewpoint (and seem to share the same).

2. Do they have a cell phone? if so, do have they unlimited texting?
They have cell phones Ė a prepaid plan. I buy 1-year of minutes and that lasts them all year. They can text (and make as many calls as they like) but have to be selective and make choices because Iím not buying any more minutes (and theyíre too cheap to pay for minutes themselves).

3. Do they have chores? If so, what are they?
Keeping their room clean (dusting, putting clothes away). Ds puts out the garbage. Dd helps me with the cat.

4. Do you allow them to shop anywhere at whatever price? Or do you make them shop at stores you "approve" of, financially and look-wise?
They can shop at any store they chose and I donít select their clothes. I only pay for clothing they need, they have to pony up the money to buy more clothes that they want (but don't really need). On Holidays I am generous with gift cards to stores they frequent (my daughter likes Hot Topic, and my son gets a mall card).

5. Are your kids in honors / advanced placement?
They are in middle school now and will attend a college prep high school & will be in honors English. Not sure of any other honors classes.

6. Do you attend church? If so, does your child like it?
We donít attend church.

7. Do you have a friendship with your child? Do they lie to you?
We have a very good relationship with open communication. They do lie primarily about stupid stuff that wouldnít matter if the truth was told.

8. Do you ever ground your child? If so, what are the usual punishments?
No grounding. Usually xbox/computer is taken away.

9. Do you ever deny your child a night out with friends? If no, Are you usually driving and like it?
I only deny an outing if I feel itís a place they shouldnít be going to , other than that, no I donít deny evenings out with friends. I donít mind driving (or the other parent can drive). Sometimes Iíll share the driving with another parent. But itís not a big deal and Iím fine with driving.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-23-2008, 11:01 AM
 
116 posts, read 303,773 times
Reputation: 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by metropolistraffic View Post
Well, I am a teenager. 15 years of age.
And, i was wondering what your rules on some things.

What is your view on your child drinking / smoking / using drugs?
Do they have a cell phone? if so, do have they unlimited texting?
Do they have chores? If so, what are they?
Do you allow them to shop anywhere at whatever price? Or do you make them shop at stores you "approve" of, financially and look-wise?
Are your kids in honors / advanced placement?
Do you attend church? If so, does your child like it?
Do you have a friendship with your child? Do they lie to you?
Do you ever ground your child? If so, what are the usual punishments?
Do you ever deny your child a night out with friends? If no, Are you usually driving and like it?

Alright. Those seem to be my major questions. Haha.
But, I just want to compare my life / parents to how you guys raise your teenagers. =D

My teens are 13 and 15.
1) We talk about drugs, alcohol,...so far no problems.
2)No cells phones until they get jobs.
3)They have chores, various household cleaning.
4)They shop where they want to shop, luckily they both budget their money well.
5)One is advanced, one is in regular classes.
6)No church, I have warned them of organized religion and what a crock it is.
7)I am a parent, not a friend....I am sure they have lied, I'm sure all kids do.
8)I do ground them from time to time.
9)Sometimes they are not allowed with friends if grounded and I do end up driving them alot, but soon one child will be 16 and will drive himself.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-23-2008, 11:24 AM
 
Location: Sugar Grove, IL
3,132 posts, read 7,530,377 times
Reputation: 1539
I am the parent of two boys, age 19 and 13. the oldest is now a freshman in college. We always had the talk about drugs and alcohol. we never had any incidents of this while our son was in high school. he often said that he was the only kid not drinking. he was an athlete, so he would never want to let us or his team down by being ineligible. Now that he is at college, we know that things are different. but he knows that when he is home on break, all the home rules apply.
they both have cell phones. The oldest does have texting, the youngest does not. the youngest only uses his phone for family/emergency type calls. the college student is totally different.
they always have chores.
there are certain things that i buy for them, the rest, they are on their own. I have stressed to them that there is really no reason to ever pay full price for any item of clothing, unless some major event pops up at the last minute!
Our oldest was always a straight A student, in all advanced classes and took many AP classes in high school.
Our youngest is in 7th grade and in advanced math. he too, is a straight A student since 4th grade.
we are not church goers
I think that I am friendly with my children, and they know that they can come to me about anything, however, they also know that I am the boss!
yes, they are grounded when the need arises.
and sometimes they cannot see certain friends.
I hope they don't lie to me, because I have stressed that if they lie about something really important, and I find out, the punishment would be worse than if they had told the truth in the first place!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-23-2008, 08:51 PM
Status: "Fire Roger Goodell!!!!!!!" (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Arlington, Virginia
15,149 posts, read 17,723,873 times
Reputation: 15860
Quote:
Originally Posted by metropolistraffic View Post
Well, I am a teenager. 15 years of age.
And, i was wondering what your rules on some things.

What is your view on your child drinking / smoking / using drugs?
Do they have a cell phone? if so, do have they unlimited texting?
Do they have chores? If so, what are they?
Do you allow them to shop anywhere at whatever price? Or do you make them shop at stores you "approve" of, financially and look-wise?
Are your kids in honors / advanced placement?
Do you attend church? If so, does your child like it?
Do you have a friendship with your child? Do they lie to you?
Do you ever ground your child? If so, what are the usual punishments?
Do you ever deny your child a night out with friends? If no, Are you usually driving and like it?

Alright. Those seem to be my major questions. Haha.
But, I just want to compare my life / parents to how you guys raise your teenagers. =D
I'm 19 but i'll tell you what my mom did while i was in HS.

1. If i came home smelling like any of that, h&^% to pay!
2. Yes, Pay-as-you-go phone.
3. Yes, clean my room, the kitchen, do my own laundry.
4. Her $, her rules. My $ (pt-time job), my rules.
5. No.
6. Yes, like it without being forced.
7. Yes, Sometimes
8. No, a boot camp-style discussion.
9. No. She didn't drive.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:27 AM.

© 2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top