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Old 02-17-2018, 09:24 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
12,305 posts, read 10,071,985 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elan View Post
You said a few days a week, meaning two or three. Why not let the grandparents have the child for one day and hire a nanny for the other two. That way, the grandparents won't get pooped out and you won't feel guilty for using them on an occasional date night. Just like you would any babysitter, you set boundaries by sitting down and writing a list of do's and don'ts.
Giving grandparents orders about taking care of your children is like trying to nail Jello to a wall!
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Old 02-19-2018, 10:33 AM
 
12,447 posts, read 14,587,292 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Wow! A day care center certainly can not "do whatever they want to do". Sheesh! They need to follow state laws and very strict licensing regulations regarding safety, nap times, feeding, etc. They can't just park the kids in front of a TV all day and serve them cookies and Kool-aide for lunch.

.
so say you!!!
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Old 02-19-2018, 12:27 PM
 
Location: Canada
8,708 posts, read 7,787,225 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elan View Post
You said a few days a week, meaning two or three. Why not let the grandparents have the child for one day and hire a nanny for the other two. That way, the grandparents won't get pooped out and you won't feel guilty for using them on an occasional date night. Just like you would any babysitter, you set boundaries by sitting down and writing a list of do's and don'ts.
I agree with this. If you only need someone three days a week, I'd allot one for grandma and two for daycare or a nanny.

I know several parents who had each set of grandparents mind the child one day a week and then daycare the other three days. It was a nice combination of socialization with other kids, one-on-one time with each set of grandparents, and a bonus that the parents had more breathing room on weekends from the pressure of grandparents wanting to see the grandkids.
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Old 02-20-2018, 08:37 AM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,669 posts, read 42,807,149 times
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If I lived closer to our new granddaughter, I would love to watch her for one or two days a week, or overnight if her parents went out for the evening. Beyond that, no. Iíve raised my kids and Iíve no intention of doing the heavy lifting for the parents. Besides, we arenít getting any younger, so donít have the stamina to engage in a lot of activities.

I think a good quality daycare with structured activities is good for childrenís development. The babyís father was my only child who went to daycare, and he loved the social part of it, and enjoyed going there.
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Old 02-20-2018, 11:12 AM
 
2,485 posts, read 1,302,996 times
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We had our parents offer but we declined. The main reason for us was that we didn’t want to create any family drama and we also didn’t want to worry about what to do if they went out of town or got sick or had an appointment etc. Instead we would pull him out do daycare for a day here and there and let them watch him or they’d pick him up early sometimes. We also used them for sick care and overnights if we were going out. They have also kept him for up to two weeks while we travel. It works for us and there is no drama over it. You really can’t tell your parents or in laws how to parent your child so it’s a matter of whether you can live with that or not.
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Old 02-20-2018, 11:26 AM
 
8,740 posts, read 8,957,632 times
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I'd rather have family watch my child vs a stranger.
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Old 02-20-2018, 11:32 AM
 
4,825 posts, read 5,449,558 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms.Mathlete View Post

While children under 3 years do tend to have higher cortisol levels in a daycare environment, to say that they ďdonít have raised cortisol at home with their mother or a caretakerĒ is nonsense. Babies experience a rise in cortisol from being overtired, in response to a stressed-out caregiver (yes, even Mom), or something as mundane as a diaper change or a bath.
It's not nonsense. The study isn't talking about a temporary rise in cortisol from isolated moments of stress.

Overall, cortisol naturally rises in the morning and goes down during the day for everyone, regardless of age . . . except preschoolers in daycare, especially if they are under 3-years-old. Theirs stays elevated all day.

The preschoolers who stay home with a parent or caregiver don't experience elevated levels of cortisol.

Here's the study. https://www.sciencedirect.com/scienc...85200606000421
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Old 02-20-2018, 11:35 AM
 
Location: Out in the Badlands
10,400 posts, read 8,360,335 times
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It's ops normal in China.
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Old 02-20-2018, 11:57 AM
 
Location: New Yawk
8,655 posts, read 4,799,818 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shooting Stars View Post
It's not nonsense. The study isn't talking about a temporary rise in cortisol from isolated moments of stress.

Overall, cortisol naturally rises in the morning and goes down during the day for everyone, regardless of age . . . except preschoolers in daycare, especially if they are under 3-years-old. Theirs stays elevated all day.

The preschoolers who stay home with a parent or caregiver don't experience elevated levels of cortisol.

Here's the study. https://www.sciencedirect.com/scienc...85200606000421
The abstract states that children experience higher cortisol levels compared to children cares for at home, not that children in cared for at home don’t experience elevated cortisol. Also, the abstract states that children experience elevatations in cortisol, not that it stays continuously elevated.

Reading the full text, the authors acknowledge that more research needs to be done on the factors that contribute to that increase. And more research has been done, in the 12 years since that one was published. For example, this more recent study looked at a variety of factors, including age, quality of care, and individual temperament:


https://www.sciencedirect.com/scienc...775?via%3Dihub

Although in this more recent study found that, in spite of the early afternoon rise in cortisol in a daycare setting, their cortisol levels were actually a little lower by bedtime, compared to the days they were at home:


https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3209264/

Last edited by Ginge McFantaPants; 02-20-2018 at 12:52 PM..
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Old 02-22-2018, 08:26 PM
 
69 posts, read 31,449 times
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OP - You seem too uptight about it so this may not work. My mom took care of my son five days a week while I worked since he was 8 months old. Yes, there were times she ignored my instructions and did things her way and yes we sometimes knocked heads over it. But you know what, not for one second did I worry about my child while I was at work. I knew he was safe, sound and loved at all times. I would not exchange that for anything in the world and I am forever grateful to my parents for it. We live in the same apartment building and they still watch my son. He just turned 12 and doesn't need her as much as before but it is still great there is someone home when he comes home from school. He has an amazing relationship with my parents and I am so happy they are in his life. Yes, maybe you won't argue with the day care over what he can eat or not but ask yourself this question - will anyone in that daycare actually love your child the way a grandparent would? However, I understand everyone has a different family dynamic and if you think it will lead to major family issues then you should put your child in a day care. I just wanted to comment and give you a positive experience since there is so much negativity in this thread.
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