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We have a son, one of four children, who is 30, and lives at home. He has a younger brother who is 14. He is a college graduate and has a great job. When he got this job he decided to live with us because it was within commuting range and he could save money by not having to pay for an apartment. We had no problem with that. He is an excellent son. No problems whatsoever. He is quiet by nature and reserved. He hangs out with his brother a lot. (We are a close knit family) At this rate, it looks like he could live with us for a long time. He does not have a girlfriend. He does not hang out with any male friends either. Am I too concerned about this? If he is content does it really matter?
30, no friends, no gf, no social life, hangs out with 14 year old, lives with parents. Uhm.
Really?? You should be concerned. He should be out and about and have fun with people his own age - actually, he should have done that 10 years ago already.
He may be content but he really misses out on life.
It really IS that old in context, a 30 year old man had no business playing with 14 year old boys as his only means of socialization.
Imagine the man on the left (30 yrs) being best buds with this kid (14 yrs).....
First of all, these two are brothers. Meaning they love one another as brothers tend to do.
Secondly, there is nothing wrong with a 30 year old playing video games with their 14 year old brother. Only a depraved mind could conjur up something from something so innocent. And it is those minds you would not want your 14 year old son around, not his brother who makes good money and is overall stable except content with his life as it is. Nothing has been said otherwise.
Whether that 30 year old has friends or is a loner makes no difference. Let's not let our own depravity dictate our thinking. Not everyone is as we are. There are stable families in the world, not perfect, but stable and loving.
Clearly he has a good job so isn't recluse by any definitions of the word. Loving brothers who have similar interests in common. Wonderful~!!
First of all, these two are brothers. Meaning they love one another as brothers tend to do.
Secondly, there is nothing wrong with a 30 year old playing video games with their 14 year old brother. Only a depraved mind could conjur up something from something so innocent. And it is those minds you would not want your 14 year old son around, not his brother who makes good money and is overall stable except content with his life as it is. Nothing has been said otherwise.
Whether that 30 year old has friends or is a loner makes no difference. Let's not let our own depravity dictate our thinking. Not everyone is as we are. There are stable families in the world, not perfect, but stable and loving.
Clearly he has a good job so isn't recluse by any definitions of the word. Loving brothers who have similar interests in common. Wonderful~!!
Child abuse aside - I find it sick to always assume those motives just because two males hang out.
But you cannot be serious. A 30 year olds only social interaction is with a 14 year old? Come on!!! What about personal growth? Stimulation of the mind? Yeah, nothing wrong if they play video games every now and then. But not if the 30 year old has no life outside that.
Two of my childhood neighbors (a brother and a sister) never moved from their parents' home. Never had significant others, either, but were both active within the neighborhood, their church and our community at large and were seemingly normal people. As of two or so years ago, it's just the sister living in the house as both parents and her brother have died. I'm guessing that she's somewhere in her late fifties to mid-sixties. Although she no longer works full-time due to some health issues, I often see her when I'm home for a visit--especially if it's summertime as she frequently hangs out her washing.
When I was a child, there were two sisters who attended the same church as my family who had a similar life story (never married, took care of their parents as they aged since they never moved from their childhood home), although they were at least in their sixties when I was a kid in the early eighties. Nice women. Quietly social within their own chosen circle.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it used to be far more common than it now is to either never move from one's parents' home or to return after higher education has been completed. Heck, even married people frequently lived with their in-laws (kind of like the multigenerational living seen on the Waltons) It wasn't seen as odd, so much as practical and simply how things were done. Moving out at eighteen is a fairly recent American phenomenon. (As in the last hundred years or so recent.)
My opinion is so long that everyone concerned is content with the current living arrangements, I cannot see it as a problem that a thirty-year-old shy "confirmed bachelor" (that's what such men were once called) still lives with his parents.
First of all, these two are brothers. Meaning they love one another as brothers tend to do.
Secondly, there is nothing wrong with a 30 year old playing video games with their 14 year old brother. Only a depraved mind could conjur up something from something so innocent. And it is those minds you would not want your 14 year old son around, not his brother who makes good money and is overall stable except content with his life as it is. Nothing has been said otherwise.
Whether that 30 year old has friends or is a loner makes no difference. Let's not let our own depravity dictate our thinking. Not everyone is as we are. There are stable families in the world, not perfect, but stable and loving.
Clearly he has a good job so isn't recluse by any definitions of the word. Loving brothers who have similar interests in common. Wonderful~!!
Only one is his brother. I got the impression it was his brother and his brother's friends.
I thought it was airsoft, which I thought was an actual shooting game, like outside running around.
It is weird for a 30 year old to have NO social life and no interests outside of his parents and 14 year old brother. Even the biggest introvert should have 1 friend, or a girl friend, or a hobby or a club, or a church group. Certainly an introvert wouldn't probably have all of those things, but he should have some social interaction. If he's that big of an introvert, why would he want to live with his family? Why not alone in an apartment?
Maybe he’s just family oriented. When my husband was 30, we had two young children and if he wasn’t at work, he was doing things with the kids and me. He didn’t go out with friends. Neither did I, really. Mommy and me type things, yes, but no real outings with girlfriends. I’m pretty sure no one would find that weird.
What difference does it make that this young man chooses to spend time with his own family? He has a job, so he’s presumably interacting with other adults.
Maybe he’s just family oriented. When my husband was 30, we had two young children and if he wasn’t at work, he was doing things with the kids and me. He didn’t go out with friends. Neither did I, really. Mommy and me type things, yes, but no real outings with girlfriends. I’m pretty sure no one would find that weird.
What difference does it make that this young man chooses to spend time with his own family? He has a job, so he’s presumably interacting with other adults.
I see these as 2 totally different things. It is totally the norm for a 30 year old married father to spend his time with his wife and kids. Usually by 30, if someone isn't married, they've built a life around their friends and interests. The OP's son has done neither.
First of all, these two are brothers. Meaning they love one another as brothers tend to do.
Secondly, there is nothing wrong with a 30 year old playing video games with their 14 year old brother. Only a depraved mind could conjur up something from something so innocent. And it is those minds you would not want your 14 year old son around, not his brother who makes good money and is overall stable except content with his life as it is. Nothing has been said otherwise.
Whether that 30 year old has friends or is a loner makes no difference. Let's not let our own depravity dictate our thinking. Not everyone is as we are. There are stable families in the world, not perfect, but stable and loving.
Clearly he has a good job so isn't recluse by any definitions of the word. Loving brothers who have similar interests in common. Wonderful~!!
So 2 scenarios come to mind.
Scenario 1: A 30 year old healthy adult male with an independent life comes over to the house and gives his 14 year old brother a huge hug and sits down to kick some ass playing Warcraft or whatnot. That's a good scenario.
Scenario 2: A 30 year old with no friends and no life and no romantic life and living at home comes home every day and plays games with his 14 year old brother for 2-3 hours.
There is nothing loving or healthy about scenario 2.
We need to look at the whole picture. Just saying "there is nothing wrong with a 30 year old playing video games with their 14 year old brother." is kind of simple-minded I think. Consider the context of this 30 year old, and the fact that he is not an independent competent adult. In that light, it is probably not a good scenario. And it is not a stretch, given the facts, to rationally imagine that it is a very bad scenario.
Child abuse aside - I find it sick to always assume those motives just because two males hang out.
But you cannot be serious. A 30 year olds only social interaction is with a 14 year old? Come on!!! What about personal growth? Stimulation of the mind? Yeah, nothing wrong if they play video games every now and then. But not if the 30 year old has no life outside that.
Correction again. Let's keep it in context please.
These ARE BROTHERS hanging out doing something together they share in common.
To find something wrong with this is seriously. messed up. A depraved mind. And it's a blessing the older brother has high enough social skills relating to people well enough to hold a GOOD JOB which pays well. He's a good role model for his younger brother. Good on him. And good he's happy with his life, and content, as he is.
From the info provided, all is more than good in this family
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