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Old 02-12-2018, 12:39 AM
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
8,805 posts, read 10,243,077 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
My daughter had 3 siblings show up at her party. The parents just dropped off the kids and left, like it was free childcare for a couple of hours. The siblings were much younger than the other kids and one of them was a toddler and cried the whole time. My daughter went to another b-day party this week and the same thing happened to the parents who hosted the party: younger siblings dropped off, parents walked out real fast.


So for my child's b-day next year, instead of a party, we're going to do something alternative. I'm thinking maybe she can take a friend to a movie place to get their nails/hair done, then dinner.
OK, that's tacky and wrong. I was wondering if your kid was little and if it was the kind of party where the parents stay (and happen to have other little ones).
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Old 02-12-2018, 07:47 AM
 
2,610 posts, read 4,065,818 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
My daughter had 3 siblings show up at her party. The parents just dropped off the kids and left, like it was free childcare for a couple of hours. The siblings were much younger than the other kids and one of them was a toddler and cried the whole time. My daughter went to another b-day party this week and the same thing happened to the parents who hosted the party: younger siblings dropped off, parents walked out real fast.


So for my child's b-day next year, instead of a party, we're going to do something alternative. I'm thinking maybe she can take a friend to a movie place to get their nails/hair done, then dinner.
I've been to at least 25 birthday parties (for kids <10) and have never seen any parent leave. I mean sitting in a corner and playing on their phone, of course, but leave? I have never even heard of that.
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Old 02-12-2018, 08:08 AM
 
Location: Central, NJ
2,294 posts, read 4,781,102 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blazerj View Post
I've been to at least 25 birthday parties (for kids <10) and have never seen any parent leave. I mean sitting in a corner and playing on their phone, of course, but leave? I have never even heard of that.
Same here. They have parties in these giant, public places and the parents throwing the party don't even know who all the kids are. If you wouldn't drop your kid off alone at Chuckie Cheese or a bound place for the afternoon then you're not dropping them off at a party either.
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Old 02-12-2018, 08:21 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,395 posts, read 15,716,476 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blazerj View Post
I've been to at least 25 birthday parties (for kids <10) and have never seen any parent leave. I mean sitting in a corner and playing on their phone, of course, but leave? I have never even heard of that.
That just shows you how times have changed or how it is different in different areas of the country. My kids are now adults, but excluding family parties (aunts/uncles/cousins/grandparents) we never stayed at another child's birthday party or had parents stay at our children's parties. And, they had parties, and attended birthday parties, starting as four year olds. (I should clarify that the four year old parties only had a few children, who were all close friends, so we knew the parents from previous play dates or school/day care activities)

I can not even imagine a parent feeling that they need to stay at a birthday party when their child is in kindergarten, let alone 8 or 9 years old. What were you afraid would happen if you left? Or was this just the way that elementary school birthday parties are held in your town?
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Old 02-12-2018, 08:43 AM
 
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
15,349 posts, read 25,433,064 times
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We have some friends that have three kids. The oldest is our daughters age. The two of them have become more than friends as they call each other sisters. Although they go to different schools our daughter has included her "sister" with her school friends. Now it seems that our daughter, her "sister" and her other four close friends are always doing things together.

Many times we invite the girls over for something and the "sisters" mom or dad will drop off the two younger kids, a 5 year old and a 2 year old. Sometimes no problem. Many times we have told the parents (Remember they are friends of ours) that this is just for the older girls and the younger kids are not invited. I mean when my daughter invites her friends over shouldn't the parents know that they should not bring all the kids over with them? We even know that they are doing it so they can have a date night or what have you.

We actually like having the kids in our home. Prefer to have them when we actually invite them over though.

Over the years we have had parents drop off additional kids when one of our kids were having a party. Our kids learned to keep these extra kids out of their rooms. One time some of these extra kids got into the kids bedrooms and ransacked the toys, not putting anything away. Two of our sons have an extensive collection of Lego toys that they assembled and have on display. One time a kid got into the room and started playing with these messing them up.

My thought is that these less than well mannered little kids do these kind of things because they don't have any friends at the party to hang out with. Maybe they don't know anyone. We had to learn to keep the extra guests out of the places we don't want them to visit.
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Old 02-12-2018, 08:49 AM
 
8,621 posts, read 8,744,784 times
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I would consider it bad manners to show up with another child without at least asking first...

But in our household it happens all the time. We have two sons that are 5 (step brothers) and since they aren't in the same schools or share the same friends they are always being invited to parties without the other being invited. It always ends up being some sort of drama because one is excited to go, or excited when they came back from some fun activity, and the other is always disappointed that they couldn't go and they don't quite understand why.

I realize that's life and it's not fair, but it does kinda upset me. If the party is at a public venue, I've often just taken the other and we go off on our own and do the activity ourselves.


We actually have this situation upcoming this weekend, and my wife and I are already trying to figure out the contingency plan since it's at a house.
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Old 02-12-2018, 09:12 AM
 
Location: Florida
3,940 posts, read 3,005,874 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
That just shows you how times have changed or how it is different in different areas of the country. My kids are now adults, but excluding family parties (aunts/uncles/cousins/grandparents) we never stayed at another child's birthday party or had parents stay at our children's parties. And, they had parties, and attended birthday parties, starting as four year olds. (I should clarify that the four year old parties only had a few children, who were all close friends, so we knew the parents from previous play dates or school/day care activities)

I can not even imagine a parent feeling that they need to stay at a birthday party when their child is in kindergarten, let alone 8 or 9 years old. What were you afraid would happen if you left? Or was this just the way that elementary school birthday parties are held in your town?
I wouldn’t have dropped off a 4-7 year old at a bowling alley a park or Chuck E. Cheese party. If it was three little friends, then that’s one thing, but usually those types of parties were 10-12 (or more) children and one adult or one couple cannot safely keep track of that number of small kids in a busy public area. At a house bday party, as long as they weren’t going swimming, fine. Parents almost always stayed for pool parties with young kids.

We homeschool and all parties were generally family events until they were 8-10 years old, I believe. They were usually held at a public place like a park or a bowling alley or roller skating rink. We went to home birthday parties too, of course, and siblings were almost always invited. The kids grew out of that after age 10, for the most part.

Even with our friends who did not homeschool, parents often stayed at those ages, so it could be a regional variation. Things are pretty spread out here, so it wouldn’t be unusual to drive 20-30 minutes to a friends house in the same school district. That could be the difference, too. For a two-hour party, you wouldn’t want to drive 40-60 minutes round trip just to turn around and do it again an hour later.
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Old 02-12-2018, 09:35 AM
Status: "Autumn!" (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
84,740 posts, read 98,347,761 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
That just shows you how times have changed or how it is different in different areas of the country. My kids are now adults, but excluding family parties (aunts/uncles/cousins/grandparents) we never stayed at another child's birthday party or had parents stay at our children's parties. And, they had parties, and attended birthday parties, starting as four year olds. (I should clarify that the four year old parties only had a few children, who were all close friends, so we knew the parents from previous play dates or school/day care activities)

I can not even imagine a parent feeling that they need to stay at a birthday party when their child is in kindergarten, let alone 8 or 9 years old. What were you afraid would happen if you left? Or was this just the way that elementary school birthday parties are held in your town?
I live in a different part of the country than you, and my experience is the same as yours. Even at age 3 or 4, it was clear the parties were for the kids only, both the parties my kids went to and the parties they had. I never got an invitation that said "parents welcome" or the like. As you said, the early parties were just a few kids who knew each other well.
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Old 02-12-2018, 12:51 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,417,084 times
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9 or 10 is when people started leaving their kids at parties. At least where I have lived.

When I was a kid, it was when they were out of diapers. Moms never stayed except maybe one mom who was close friends with the host mom to help out.
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Old 02-12-2018, 01:08 PM
 
Location: WI
2,809 posts, read 3,043,664 times
Reputation: 4782
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
That just shows you how times have changed or how it is different in different areas of the country. My kids are now adults, but excluding family parties (aunts/uncles/cousins/grandparents) we never stayed at another child's birthday party or had parents stay at our children's parties. And, they had parties, and attended birthday parties, starting as four year olds. (I should clarify that the four year old parties only had a few children, who were all close friends, so we knew the parents from previous play dates or school/day care activities)

I can not even imagine a parent feeling that they need to stay at a birthday party when their child is in kindergarten, let alone 8 or 9 years old. What were you afraid would happen if you left? Or was this just the way that elementary school birthday parties are held in your town?
We live in the same state (though different regions of the state if IIRC) and that is pretty much my experience as well. Pre-school parties were either small drop-off affairs with only close friends, or with parents if it was more of the whole-class, 15+ kids set-up. Once they started school (so, age 5 or 6) it was ALWAYS drop-off, whether it was a party just with close friends or with the whole class.

The idea of parents staying at a 8-10 year old's birthday party is very, very strange to me but obviously not for others.

Re: siblings at the party. We never had that happy, luckily.
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