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Old 02-13-2018, 02:31 PM
Location: STL area
391 posts, read 209,954 times
Reputation: 613


It's totally bad manners, but I learned to just suck it up and plan for it and deal with it. If I really needed no extra kids, I was very explicit about it in my invitation, but honestly, I could usually handle the extras. It just didn't feel worth it to me to let it bother me.

I suppose people have no place else to go with siblings and don't want a kid to miss out on a party. I've had more parents come expecting the sibling to just sit and watch than expecting to just participate, and I've always invited the sibling to participate.

That said, I have NEVER had someone drop off kids and leave siblings. It was always at the ages where the parents wanted to stick around that they brought extra kids. Dropping off extra kids would cross a line for me. I seriously can't even fathom someone doing that.
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Old 02-14-2018, 07:53 AM
645 posts, read 533,723 times
Reputation: 876
We've never done a drop off birthday party. Once or twice, parents have included in the invite that you can drop off but I didn't and when we got there, almost all of the parents stayed and didn't drop off so seems to be the born in our area. In fact 99% of the parties are at kids activity locations not at home.

Wrt taking other siblings, I've done it several times when DH wasnt available to watch the others or another kid had an event and we divide and conquer. I always reach out to the parent of the birthday kid to ask if it was okay and I ALWAYS pay the entry fees for my non invited kid(s). It's either take the other kid with us or my child doesn't go to the party. Lots of other parents have brought other kids to my kids parties and it was no big deal. But again, not a drop off. I wouldn't take another kid is drop off.
I just really don't like kids birthday parties.. there's always something.. :-)

This thread makes me think of a 5th birthday my son was invited to, he was 4.5. My daughter who was 6 (so pretty similar ages) hard to come with us. I contacted the mom and she said sure, no problem, just pay for her entry. I did just that and paid$15 when we got there. Imagine my annoyance when at the end she was handing out the usual dollar store party favors and she didn't give me daughter standing in line with her brother. She gave me son and shipped my daughter. When my daughter said what about me, she told her, the favors we for the kids that were actually invited not ones like her. This was in the presence of all the other kids and parents. So my daughter started crying quietly. My son tried to give her his favor (crap like pencil, eraser, character plastic cup and candies) and then a few other parents/ kids came and wanted to share their stuff when her. I said thanks but don't worry. I was quite pissed because the mom was being very mean for no reason. I quietly told my son to give the mom back his favor with thanks and took my kids and we left. Stopped by for ice cream on the way and DD forgot about it. Next year, we got invited to same kids birthday, I rsvp'd that sorry we couldn't make it.

Last edited by COCUE; 02-14-2018 at 08:02 AM..
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Old 02-14-2018, 02:26 PM
Location: St. Louis, MO
3,328 posts, read 4,648,111 times
Reputation: 3669
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
My daughter had 3 siblings show up at her party. The parents just dropped off the kids and left, like it was free childcare for a couple of hours. The siblings were much younger than the other kids and one of them was a toddler and cried the whole time. My daughter went to another b-day party this week and the same thing happened to the parents who hosted the party: younger siblings dropped off, parents walked out real fast.

So for my child's b-day next year, instead of a party, we're going to do something alternative. I'm thinking maybe she can take a friend to a movie place to get their nails/hair done, then dinner.
That is definitely out of line. I've always brought my three children to Birthday parties together (they're 2, 3 and 4 right now), but I've always checked in advance that it is ok if we all come. Obviously, they're at the age where I still stay with them myself at parties.

In terms of 'drop off' parties when they are older, I absolutely wouldn't drop all 3 off unless all 3 are invited.
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Old 02-14-2018, 05:46 PM
Location: DFW/Texas
680 posts, read 534,427 times
Reputation: 2007
Originally Posted by Irish Eyes View Post
From my experience could be central NJ as well. Why include when it's just so much fun to exclude!

Yawn ^^

Just because there are kids in a class does NOT mean that they share friendships. Our kids have friends and they have classmates. We are not comfortable hosting kids we don't know and/or have never heard our daughters talk about except in passing. We've asked them numerous times and they tell us they'd rather have a more specialized party with their best friends rather than having all of the class kids over and just running around going nuts.

And we live in DFW, as you can plainly see from my signature.
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Old Today, 09:53 AM
11,770 posts, read 13,559,345 times
Reputation: 13019
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
Why do some parents bring other siblings to a b-day party when only one sibling was invited? I thought this was bad manners.
It is extremely bad manners...why do they do it?
It's free babysitting ....what else could it be?
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