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Old 02-13-2018, 10:53 PM
 
343 posts, read 148,011 times
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I'm going to have a son that is going to be born in the next couple of months and I want him to be completely americanized. I was born in a foreign culture and grew up in a time where it wasn't welcome at all to embrace a different culture.

I want my son to be completely americanized and not think that he is different in any way. I'm thinking this includes moving to a typical American suburb and trying to distance him from the influences of relatives that hold on to old customs.

Is there any other advice in order to make this happen? I just know what I have seen in my lifetime, so is there any reason why I shouldn't think this way?
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Old 02-13-2018, 11:11 PM
 
Location: Under the Milky Way
1,043 posts, read 686,675 times
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I don't think you need to move away from relatives in order for your son to become "Americanized." You are the one who will be raising him, right? He should be proud of and learn about his family's culture when he's old enough to understand. He can do that while still being completely American.

It is good imo to want to fit in to a culture and country where you and your family are citizens, but that will come naturally for children born and raised here, as long as they aren't kept isolated from mainstream American life.

And if you come from a non-European culture, he will eventually notice that he is different than Americans of European descent. So what? Being different does not mean that someone is "less than." Unless you live in some tiny homogenous community, your son will be around Americans of all colors and cultural backgrounds.

Good luck, and don't over think this- he's going to be unaware of most cultural customs for at least a few years.

Last edited by Gfab1; 02-13-2018 at 11:22 PM..
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Old 02-14-2018, 06:15 AM
 
440 posts, read 187,261 times
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Only speak English.
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Old 02-14-2018, 06:19 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
49,629 posts, read 49,123,903 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Juventud Guerrero View Post
I'm going to have a son that is going to be born in the next couple of months and I want him to be completely americanized. I was born in a foreign culture and grew up in a time where it wasn't welcome at all to embrace a different culture.

I want my son to be completely americanized and not think that he is different in any way. I'm thinking this includes moving to a typical American suburb and trying to distance him from the influences of relatives that hold on to old customs.

Is there any other advice in order to make this happen? I just know what I have seen in my lifetime, so is there any reason why I shouldn't think this way?
I work for a Paki family. The parents came to the USA in the 80s, and their sons were born here. One of them works for the company.

He told me that his parents wanted them to be American. They heard that baseball was the All-American game, so they signed up both boys and went to all their games. They didn't know squat about baseball and would quiz the boys after the games asking why the coach did this, or why the ump called that.

Participation in American sports is one way to assimilate.
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Old 02-14-2018, 06:23 AM
 
1,991 posts, read 851,252 times
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My husband and I are from different countries and married and settled in America and raised two children. You don’t need to force it,by virtue of living here,going to school here ,having friends here they will be Americans. Like many Americans they are interested in their family origins and cultural history and enjoy aspects of them. We raised them as Americans with a rich cultural legacy, no need to overthink this or force it or force rejection of their cultural background. To do that could create confusion and shame about their identity and family.

My children had no idea we were different until one friend in middle school asked my son why I talked different. He shrugged and said he never noticed because I’m just mummy.
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Old 02-14-2018, 06:25 AM
 
1,991 posts, read 851,252 times
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Originally Posted by Winter Sucks View Post
Only speak English.

Which version of English
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Old 02-14-2018, 06:26 AM
 
3,154 posts, read 2,767,836 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Juventud Guerrero View Post
I'm going to have a son that is going to be born in the next couple of months and I want him to be completely americanized. I was born in a foreign culture and grew up in a time where it wasn't welcome at all to embrace a different culture.

I want my son to be completely americanized and not think that he is different in any way. I'm thinking this includes moving to a typical American suburb and trying to distance him from the influences of relatives that hold on to old customs.

Is there any other advice in order to make this happen? I just know what I have seen in my lifetime, so is there any reason why I shouldn't think this way?
It doesn't seem like a good idea. Unless there are truly objectionable ideas or practices (i.e. abusive or illegal) in your family, speaking a second language and having a rich cultural background is generally a positive thing.
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Old 02-14-2018, 06:40 AM
 
Location: Florida
3,721 posts, read 2,903,061 times
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Americans come in many, many different types. Just by going to school, he will become Americanized. But why would you want to erase his ties to your culture? Particularly to the point of keeping him from relatives??
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Old 02-14-2018, 07:00 AM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
10,389 posts, read 3,064,354 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Winter Sucks View Post
Only speak English.
I have neighbors who were born in Pakistan, but their boys were born in the U. S. The parents didn’t speak English in the home until a year it was time for them to start school. The kids had a real hard time learning English at that point and became behind in their class work because of it. They had friends, but a lot of kids also isolated them because of it and we had many different races in the school. Nothing wrong with speaking your native language, but teach them English as well early on. It will help them tremendously to be bilingual!

I also suggest not isolating your culture. Let you children know about it. The U. S. is a melting pot. Depending where you live it could be very diverse or very isolated. Embrace the differences.
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Old 02-14-2018, 07:07 AM
 
3,192 posts, read 3,135,419 times
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Usually, the problem is trying to keep the kids grounded in the language and culture of the immigrant parents' culture!

Don't deprive your children of the benefit of learning your home language. Having to learn two languages in infancy or early childhood strengthens the brain's ability to focus and prioritize, since the child's brain has to say, "Use this word and this sentence in this setting, rather than that word and that sentence." And of course, it's a tremendous advantage to be bilingual. Try to speak your language exclusively to them. Don't worry, they will learn English in school. The younger you start them in daycare or nursery, the earlier they will make the switch to English, and then they won't speak to you in the home language, or only if you force them to.

Don't deprive him of contact with the rest of the family! The more loving adults he has in his life, the better.

Before he starts kindergarten, move to a nearby area with excellent public schools. You'll be surprised to find that there will be many striving immigrant families there too who have moved for the schools for their children.

Being All-American isn't necessarily all it's cracked up to be. All-American can mean white trash meth addict in a burnt out factory town in the midwest, as much as it can mean Ivy League football star Rhodes Scholar.
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