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One friend had a German student who wouldn’t obey any rules, has sex and drank in her house and she was basically unable to take anything away to punish him. Can’t take away phones, TVs or car privileges through the company they had. Even as a teacher she was stumped. They also had tweens in the house and they of course saw all of this. It was a very long year...
They could have requested that the teenager be placed in another home. This happens all the time. It's not ideal but if things aren't working out, then they should do it.
One friend had a German student who wouldn’t obey any rules, has sex and drank in her house and she was basically unable to take anything away to punish him. Can’t take away phones, TVs or car privileges through the company they had. Even as a teacher she was stumped. They also had tweens in the house and they of course saw all of this. It was a very long year...
This girl's parents knew exactly what they were doing when they packed her bags to study abroad.
We started when my son was born and ended up with a houseful of Japanese students. Man, that was one party house! Michiko stayed with us for three years! It sure took the load off the working wife.
And the kid picked up Japanese as his first "wanguage". However, that economic curve is gone and it's a whole new ball game now. I wouldn't do it with most of the other cultures in the world.
I had a neighbor that hosted an exchange student each year, always a girl from Germany. She had 3 sons and really liked having a daughter. They are still very good friends with many of the girls they hosted and hosted many of the girl's younger sisters as they were old enough for an exchange.
BUT one year there were not German girls they could host so they were talked into a Danish girl. IT WAS ASWFUL! No matter what they asked, that girl thought it was fine to walk around the house nude. By that time the neighbor's 3 boys were teens and LOVED looking at the naked girl...who took her clothes off as soon as she got home from school and only put them on if she was leaving the house. Naked for dinner each night, sitting at the table She loved strutting around the boys who had never seen a naked female before. She lasted 2 months, and with lots of intervention and no change in her behavior she was sent to finish her year off with a single lady.
And the neighbor never hosted a kid again.
One awful student can ruin it! And no, the neighbor did not get paid anything, but spent a LOT of money spoiling those girls rotten!
No, I don’t get paid. I’m a volunteer. Some agencies do pay local reps but not the one I’m with.
I’ve never heard of an agency that didn’t allow host parents to administer consequences like lost privileges and the like. I’ve done it myself. They’re teenagers and should be treated like any other teenager. I’m wondering if it was an F-1 program (explanation below), because J-1 programs are usually very supportive of treating the teen like the other teens in the family. Also, J-1 kids can never drive, so there would be no car privileges to remove.
Host families of F-1 visaholders can be paid. Those students are sponsored by their American schools and they stay with the family as a boarder. They come because their parents want them to get their educations in the USA and they pay the fee that the state pays the public school for an American student, usually $7-10K per year. Or they go to private school. It’s a different experience with different expectations from the J-1 visa-holders (the type that I volunteer with), who are sponsored by their agencies and the U.S. government. Host families for these programs cannot be paid per Department of State rules. They come to be family members. Most of the students acclimate well and become members of the family and community. A small percentage don’t. When that happens, the agency usually moves them to another family because it’s usually an issue of a bad match. For behaviors like drinking, using drugs, etc, they’re either placed on a probationary status or sent home. Either way, no one forces host families to continue to host. We encourage families and students to try to work it out, but if the family says no, then the student is moved.
I’ve been doing this a long time (since 2006) and while I’ve heard of a few kids who have had alcohol at a party or got in trouble at school for skipping or telling the host family a lie or whatever, I’ve never heard of one causing mass mayhem. Not saying it can’t hapoen, because I’m sure it has... but that’s a very unusual thing. The problems are usually things like the student spends too much time online or they leave the bathroom a mess. Everyday stuff that most teens do at some point.
The story about the Danish girl is crazy! Eating dinner naked?
My family did it when I was growing up, usually French students for a couple of weeks but once we had a Spanish lad that stayed with us for a year. I have fond memories of it but one of my brothers at least did not like it (he shared a bedroom with the Spanish lad, maybe there were issues there)
We have talked about hosting an exchange student and we might do it someday, but it would be someone from a cultural background that is fairly similar to ours. We also would prefer to host a male student, rather than a female. We have let people stay in our home with us before although not through an exchange program. Basically, our number one rule in the household is, don't create drama. If the kid is a drama seeker, they'll need to find another home to live in. We're not going to put up with that.
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She loved strutting around the boys who had never seen a naked female before. She lasted 2 months, and with lots of intervention and no change in her behavior she was sent to finish her year off with a single lady.
