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Old 03-25-2018, 11:56 AM
113 posts, read 50,205 times
Reputation: 126


Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I don't think that anyone really wanted the actual date, but when you first said that it was "the end of the year" I was thinking November or December. Then you said that they probably should have already sent out the "save the date" cards and I was thinking more a September wedding, then you said it was in a
few months" which could be June or July or even late May. I think that I, and probably other readers, were just confused that either the bride & groom were changing the wedding date or you just didn't know it.

And, our suggestions for a wedding planned for June might be different than a wedding planned for November or December.
One question asking for the date was pretty pointed. As far as we know the wedding date hasnít changed and it is beyond the typical timeframe for the save the dates. However, I wouldnít be surprised about anything at this point, date changes included. No confusion intended, Iím purposely being vague for the obvious reasons.
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Old 03-25-2018, 01:28 PM
12,913 posts, read 19,792,997 times
Reputation: 33920
Originally Posted by puglandia View Post
Thatís what it comes down to, really. My husband and I talked about it yesterday and weíre not sending the cops, not going by where he lives uninvited, Iím done listening to his ex-wife ask me what she should do and then watch her do nothing anyway, and while weíre disappointed heís chosen this course ...it is what it is. We know heís not in any danger and he knows our concerns. Itís sure looking like a choice to us.

However, we hope he was paying attention while growing up and was told that every action has a reaction and he has a bunch of siblings who donít appear to be in the forgiving mood. It certainly will change how his dad and I view him now and into the future, even if he should return.
I don't blame you at all for ending the chase. But, I would encourage you to let your stepson know the door is always going to be open, should he want to reach out. Maybe that message should come from his father.
You've been as gracious as anybody could be under the circumstances.
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Old 03-27-2018, 12:56 PM
Location: Wake Forest, NC
94 posts, read 50,750 times
Reputation: 87
Originally Posted by parentologist View Post
This seems very odd. Why not have your husband call him and say, "Son, we're so happy for you. We would like to meet her, and soon. How is next weekend for us to come take you guys out to dinner?"
VERY good advice- open communication instead of speculation and gossiping is the best way to go

Originally Posted by parentologist View Post
I cannot imagine why he would do this, unless there's something he is hiding.
Have you considered that he is hiding his family from the girl???

Originally Posted by parentologist View Post
And I cannot see how a girl would NOT want to meet her intended's family. Very strange.
I agree, and I dont know why the girl is being blamed here, especially as the son is a grown man that makes his own choices. Why are people jumping to the conclusion that he is being controlled? All signs point to the issue being the son and the family dynamic and nothing to do with the girl, as she seems to be close to her family etc.
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Old 04-03-2018, 11:25 AM
966 posts, read 529,720 times
Reputation: 3374
Originally Posted by puglandia View Post
Learning more about this situation, my stepson is apparently her third fiancť. She is of an age where thatís a high number. She was living with a boyfriend in the middle of her HS years. We all have a past so Iím trying not to be overly judgy but itís hard to not form an opinion. My stepson is not perfect either. There is something so off about this situation and whatever the entire back story is. From what I gathered (stating how I know all this info would be too specific and telling should anyone who knows us ever stumble upon this post), sheís in love with love and weddings and my stepson is naive as hell and needs to grow up far more than I was aware of. She could be a piece of work but I do know neither of them are good marriage candidates.
Okay, I think this is the major reason your family has been pushed out of the picture. Three engagements at such a young age shows something may well be "off" with this girl. Maybe her family feels embarrassed and will do just about anything to have this wedding happen. I wonder if she has some psychological issues.

Your SS is in college - is this girl also in school? This just seems like such strange behavior for an educated young woman today. Your SS unfortunately was an easy mark for her being naive, a "go with the flow guy" and this is his first serious relationship.

I had a friend who had a similar situation with not being able to meet the bride's family, but later found out she was aiming for a green card. His parents tried to warn him but he angrily ignored them - sure enough, she dumped him later after getting eventual citizenship. He never spoke to his parents again so I connect that you and your family are in a very difficult situation.

She sounds like the type who will get pregnant immediately to further sink her hooks in so it may be a rocky road. Best of luck to you.
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Old 04-13-2018, 09:13 PM
Location: Dfw
324 posts, read 93,172 times
Reputation: 340
That's very frustrating situation and I've been lurking th is thread from the beginning. The part that really got me was when your family discovered photos of her family attending the engagement(?) Party without even you guys there...that would anger me
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