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Old 03-25-2018, 07:32 PM
 
Location: Canada
4,583 posts, read 3,208,667 times
Reputation: 11793

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Wow, never mind the driving right now. Your whole family needs some counseling.

I'd be very concerned about your son if I were you. Do you think he could possibly be even suicidal? His is a prime age for suicide and he doesn't sound at all happy. His inability to concentrate is a big red flag for depression. Don't just ignore his attitude and think he'll outgrow it. Even if he isn't depressed, I think he has other issues that NEED to be addressed.

Please find out what services you have in your area for an evaluation and asking his doctor might be a good place to start.
Good luck. Please don't ignore this situation with your son.
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Old 03-25-2018, 07:41 PM
 
3,969 posts, read 1,646,983 times
Reputation: 9963
Step 1: introduce him to car care. How to change a tire. Jump the battery. Jack up the car. Where the gas tank is located. When and how to use the emergency brake. How to get out of a trunk. Sounds silly eh? But guess what? It's the first thing a person should know before being given a key to start the engine.
Step 2: decide if stick or automatic is what they want to learn.
Step 3: Have a calm,clear and confident demeanor when instructing.
Step 4: choose a desolate area to practice simple maneuvers of parking,turning,signaling,braking,and Chinese fire drills (okay I threw that in for fun!).
Step 5: call a professional driving school. They are skilled and not invested in yelling at humans.

My youngest had zero desire to drive. Luckily he had an older brother that practiced with him. He is now in his 30's and astounds me with his patience and perception when on the road.
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Old 03-25-2018, 09:46 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
12,849 posts, read 23,194,924 times
Reputation: 22636
Doesn't sound to me like he is ready to drive. Not even close. Even if you nurse him through getting his license I don't think it would safe to have him out on the roads. Back off on the driving. He knows he is not ready!!!
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Old 03-26-2018, 05:22 AM
 
Location: Bloomington, IL
11,507 posts, read 5,926,799 times
Reputation: 25979
Your son is putting you and his mom in danger. Absolutely try a driving school - but not until his other issues are addressed. If he doesn't want to drive (and he obviously doesn't) then he'll continue this dangerous behavior and the driving school will just kick him out. Put the money where it'll do more good and stop pushing your own agenda.
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Old 03-26-2018, 07:13 AM
 
Location: Dallas TX
13,811 posts, read 19,558,746 times
Reputation: 18757
As others have said, I think there are much deeper issues than getting his license at 16. It is surprising to me, this generation doesn't tend to run out and get their license as soon as they are able to.

If he has bad grades, no hobbies and surfing the internet, you need to stop this now. My kids are required to join a club ANY club at school. If they don't have the grades, they don't get the toys. You need to start parenting. I know you feel guilty, but stop feeling guilty and start parenting the kid.
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Old 03-26-2018, 07:53 AM
 
Location: Arkansas
3,840 posts, read 1,285,810 times
Reputation: 8246
If someone isn't ready to drive, don't force them into it. It wouldn't be safe for him or anyone else on the road. Let him decide when he is ready to drive.
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Old 03-26-2018, 08:01 AM
 
Location: Over yonder a piece
3,568 posts, read 3,985,784 times
Reputation: 5646
Not everyone is meant to drive. My husband's brother was a HORRIBLE driver and, in the end, opted to rely on public transport and cabs his entire adult life. I'm sure hundreds of lives have been saved as a result of that decision.

I agree with others that there are other issues going on and that getting your son evaluated might be the first step you need to take.
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Old 03-26-2018, 08:21 AM
 
2,586 posts, read 829,075 times
Reputation: 5977
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
If someone isn't ready to drive, don't force them into it. It wouldn't be safe for him or anyone else on the road. Let him decide when he is ready to drive.



I don't know about that. I was 19 before I got my license. The idea of being responsible for myself, a car, and everyone else on the road was terrifying to me. BUT my mom and dad got tired of transporting me to work and back, and one day my mom sat me down. She told me I HAD to get my license, and get my own car, and get myself around.


And so, my mom and my dad took turns teaching me to drive, and I got my license on my first try. My dad was a yeller, so driving with HIM in the passenger seat was nerve wracking. I had to yell back at him once to quit yelling at me, or we were all going to die. lol








OP, I'm wondering...has your son ALWAYS had these spatial issues, or is this what you've noticed with the driving?
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Old 03-26-2018, 08:36 AM
 
15,045 posts, read 15,528,042 times
Reputation: 20711
Your son needs to see some professional. He’s deeply depressed. You’re not helping because he hates living there which means he probably hates you as you’re the reason why he lives there.
Have you thought what the move may be or has been doing to your kids? You ever sat down and talked to your son? Explained why you had to move? He is obviously haveing a hard time adjusting. By stating you can go home when you’re 18 you implied that this isn’t his home also. Your son needs some real mental help.
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Old 03-26-2018, 08:50 AM
 
1,576 posts, read 2,436,474 times
Reputation: 1458
Aside from deeper issues...

I'd say a driving school might be better. The main reason is that having a stranger to do the instruction separates out the learning of the activity from you. He might feel like he's being judged by you or that there will be other awkward conversation with you. If he makes some mistake while driving with you, he'll be thinking that YOU are thinking about that mistake later on when you see him at the dinner table or whenever.

Whereas with an instructor, he can leave all that baggage at the (car) door.
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