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A number of posters brought up that their parents got rid of their things without consulting them ( I had also read that on other threads, too).
OTOH, I have had friends who have been after their adult children for years to empty out their old bedrooms, go through all of their boxes that they stored at home after college, and either take or get rid of all of their stuff. I know someone whose son had all of his clothes from HS still hanging in his childhood bedroom closet 25 years later.
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Here is our story. Feel free to list your story as the parent or the adult child.
Hmmm. At our house, once our son went to college, we encouraged him to look though his closet/drawers/boxes a little at a time every time that he came home. By the time that he moved out of state to go to graduate school there really was not that much left in his room, but still plenty of things in the toy room/rec room.
Now, our daughter was more of a pack-rat so she did not do as much downsizing over the years.
Both of them needed to go through all of their stuff completely when we sold the house, when they were late 20s/early 30s, and Hubby and I moved into an apartment.
Most of the downsizing went pretty smoothly, but there were a few problems. In retrospect our son admits that he was too hasty in getting rid of some of his things (especially childhood toys). One example, was a huge, huge box of sports cards (mostly new baseball cards) that he just gave away to a stranger and also favorite childhood toys (that were well cared for and just like new) that he either threw away or donated to Goodwill. After the fact, he realized that he should have saved more of those for his children or even tried to sell some of them on eBay.
He also felt that since they were "his toys" we couldn't just keep some in our "Grandparent's Toy Box" for when the grandchildren visit. Now, except for a few trucks & tractors that I hid so he wouldn't throw them out there are absolutely no toys from his childhood for his children to enjoy when they, or other children, visit our home.
Now, our daughter admits that she saved far too many things, especially from books from college, that she really needs to go through again and too many clothes. She let me save some of her childhood toys, but had gotten rid of most of them when she out grew them. So there aren't that many of her toys either.
What's your story?
Last edited by germaine2626; 03-25-2018 at 12:49 PM..
My mother got rid of my Little Golden Books (some had accompanying records). She didn't throw them out, just gave some to the church nursery, and they ended up scribbled in and torn. Others went to my cousin's brat (who never appreciated books) and were also torn and scribbled in. I never did that to my books, it still bothers me how they were treated.
I kept almost all of my daughters' stuff. They're stored in boxes in the attic, and I've started going through them. A couple of weeks ago, I found a box full of oldest daughter's trolls (from the late 80's, early 90's). She had two dozen of them...with a little troll tea table and a tiny tea set. I got them all out, washed them (a couple lost their hair, but we glued it back) and showed them to oldest grandson (who is 4 1/2). His question was, "Why are they NAKED???" He set them around the tea table for a "naked tea party".
I had two girls, and we had boxes and boxes of toy food, toy dishes, toy pots and pans, and a Fisher Price tea set. I got those out and cleaned them up. My grandsons enjoy playing with them...there's a Fisher Price "birthday cake", toy cupcakes, cookies, scoops of ice cream, etc. Who says boys can't play with toy food and dishes? Oldest grandson's favorite stuffed animal is a whale, and last summer we hosted "Whale's Birthday Party" EVERY DAY. That's an OLD whale! A plastic toy carrot came in handy last week when we made a snowman and couldn't find a real carrot for his nose.
Youngest daughter still has 6 treasured teddy bears her grandmother (my mother) gave her. Long story short, my mother got the first bear free in a department store promotion with a $50 purchase. It had on pink pajamas and a night cap, and was asleep on a on a matching pillow. She gave it to DD for her first Christmas, and it ended up being her FAVORITE toy. . She carried it everywhere until she was three (by then it had lost both front paws and was basically a rag with two back feet and a head). In-laws were babysitting her one day, and when she was napping in her car seat, they threw it out into a dumpster. She was inconsolable. When my mother heard about this, she was absolutely furious they threw out DD's favorite toy. She went back to the department store to find another one...and came back with TEN...she bought every one they had left in stock. By then, they were destined for the tent sale, and she only paid $1.00 a piece. If there had been 20 left, I think she would have bought them all. She was really mad at the in-laws.
So, 20 some years later, DD still has a collection of six of those bears, in very good condition. One of them had a swim in a turtle pond at Gator Land in Florida, but she cleaned up nicely.
Last edited by Mrs. Skeffington; 03-25-2018 at 01:38 PM..
We have far too many of our sons' belongings stored away. The fact is, we have more room than any of them do, and there's no reason, yet, to clear it all out.
I did the "clear things out over the years" thing, so that by the time my parents packed up the house I grew up in, I had already cleared out quite a lot. Not everything but a lot. They ended up packing a few totes worth of mine and my sister's things and moved that with them. They moved from where I grew up to where my sister lived, and I had plans to eventually move there too, so that was a reasonable choice. I lived in another state and had a newborn at the time they were moving, though, so I couldn't participate in trying to clear through things at that point.
My now widowed mom recently downsized from the house they moved into, so anything left that was mine that I haven't taken over the past decade plus that we've lived in the same city is now in my house, ready for me to sort through, along with the things I was willing to take that my mom no longer had room for (my sister and I took a pretty hard line though and made her get rid of most things and not just dump them on us! lol!)
I'm always in perpetual purge mode, aware that eventually my son will have to deal with my things, but I've tended to be pretty hands off with his stuff. He's only 13 though and a decade before he's on his own, probably a fair amount longer before he's really settled and has his own house so at some point, I'll get him to start clearing through things but it's a bit early at this point.
When I moved out of my parents' house, they made short work of what was left in my room. They converted it into a gym (good for them!) and they left a bin or two of whatever they deemed I MIGHT want to keep in the basement. I only lived about one hour away, so I was able to come back and visit and go through whatever remained.
However, they did say "if you don't go through it by such-and-such day, it gets tossed." But it was a soft ultimatum. If I said "give me another week" they'd be ok with that. Of course, if I pushed that a little too much, then off to the dump with my stuff :P
My only regret is probably what some other posters have said - they wished they kept a few more things. But, it isn't their responsibility to hold onto it. It would be mine.
But I don't forgive them for selling my die cast 1st Generation transformers for 50 cents each at a garage sale when I was in college.
I had a boss about 1/2 generation older than me who said she saved a lot of her sons' stuff such as legos, etc and then the sons' kids didn't want to play with it. She said "It's all different now". I took that as a cue to get rid of some stuff as we went along (my own kids were about 8 and 11 at the time). We have a community center that takes donations and the old toys went there along with the gently worn clothes, etc. There was some stuff we didn't give away, and yes, we still have some of it in boxes in the garage. When both DDs moved out, we did have more room to store these items that we just couldn't get rid of than they did. The older now has a house with a garage/basement herself but doesn't want a lot of "stuff" either.
We did turn the oldest one's room into a library and DH is now using it as his home office, as he does some work at home. The younger one is still in an apt. Most of what she has around our house is some old clothes that I plan to get rid of (donate) soon. Our church had a coat drive and I gave some of their old coats away figuring if they wanted them, they'd have taken them by now. This was last year.
I wonder if the responses would have been different if my thread title was "What did your parents do with all of your treasured keepsakes from childhood?" On various CD threads I have read quite a few people complaining "My mom threw out my letterman jacket and all of my HS awards when I was a freshman in college" or "I looked for my baseball card collection but it was gone" or "My parents sold my valuable XYZ that my grandparents gave me", "My parents gave all of my favorite dolls to my younger cousins without asking me first" etc. etc.
But, maybe those were just a few isolated examples and they aren't posting on CD any more.
I wonder if the responses would have been different if my thread title was "What did your parents do with all of your treasured keepsakes from childhood?" On various CD threads I have read quite a few people complaining "My mom threw out my letterman jacket and all of my HS awards when I was a freshman in college" or "I looked for my baseball card collection but it was gone" or "My parents sold my valuable XYZ that my grandparents gave me", "My parents gave all of my favorite dolls to my younger cousins without asking me first" etc. etc.
But, maybe those were just a few isolated examples and they aren't posting on CD any more.
I always ask my kids before getting rid of anything. Neither of them are sentimental. It is their stuff....
We moved last summer, downsizing. Kid was 19 and still living with us. I spent a day with her in her former bedroom as she went through things. Lots of things. Keep. Donate. Sell. She was really good about getting rid of a ton of stuff. Would hold onto something she felt she needed, would think about it and realize she didn't. She loved packing up books to sell to half-price, because as much as she adores books, she really likes money!
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