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Old 04-09-2018, 01:33 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
1,782 posts, read 2,223,736 times
Reputation: 2595

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It shouldn't matter if you all feel the op is being ridiculous in their irritation with baby pictures...we no longer show albums to people who come to our homes...people post our pictures online for the world to see. For complete strangers to see. As a rather private person, I absolute despise when people just plaster pictures of me on their pages, for their friends & other strangers to see, without my permission. When did this become ok? In fact last year I was at a wedding while pregnant. My friend, who never posts a picture without my permission, posted a picture of me & my baby bump. I was shocked. I wasn't angry...in fact I don't think I looked bad or anything...but I was so surprised that she felt ok to post that there, when I decided not to post pics of myself pregnant on social media.


But I think pics on social media is besides the point here. What the OP is asking is a valid question. Why do SOME mothers feel the need to embarrass the heck out of their children? I know my mother always went out of her way, and still does (I'm 35) to embarrass me. Imagine my horror, when I opened the baby picture section of my senior year book in high school, to find that my mother decided NOT to send in a baby pic at all, but a pic of me at the age of 4 or 5 sitting on the toilet frowning...it literally looks like I'm trying to poop and am in excruciating pain. I've always hated that picture (well now I don't care, but as a kid, that is damaging, come on). My mother knew I hated it, and instead of sending in a cute baby pic like everyone else did, she chose to embarrass me. I could go on with countless situations in which she blatantly tried to embarrass me, but I won't list them all.


OP, I don't know why some mothers decide to do this. Perhaps they feel we owe it to them for the years of sleeplessness, tantrums & pain (although, there is a chance we will deal with all of this in years to come when they become too old to care for themselves). Regardless of why they feel it's ok, it's not. It's mean, plain and simple.


What I can do, is offer some advice in order to cope. You can try this in any order you see fit, but there are 2 things I have done with my mother which caused most (or at least some) of the embarrassment to stop. I either completely ignore it (showing her it bothers you will only cause her to do it more) or I shove it back in her face. Embarrass her and she won't do it anymore. For example, when I was around 2 years old, for some unknown reason, my mother allowed me to play on top of a table on concrete and LEFT me there (she told my 7 year old sister to watch me). I fell off the table, of course, and broke my leg. For years, my mother brought this story up at every family function, and told it in a way to make me into the bad guy. It was MY fault I broke my leg, I was such a brat for doing that! I caused her so much stress. I was never that embarrassed by it, but it did become tedious to have to hear about it over and over. So, the LAST time it happened, I loudly responded "I was two years old! What the HECK (although I used a different word) was I doing on that table in the first place!" She was humiliated and never brought it up again.
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Old 04-09-2018, 03:01 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,492,743 times
Reputation: 23714
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrsydevil82 View Post
It shouldn't matter if you all feel the op is being ridiculous in their irritation with baby pictures...we no longer show albums to people who come to our homes...people post our pictures online for the world to see. For complete strangers to see. As a rather private person, I absolute despise when people just plaster pictures of me on their pages, for their friends & other strangers to see, without my permission. When did this become ok? In fact last year I was at a wedding while pregnant. My friend, who never posts a picture without my permission, posted a picture of me & my baby bump. I was shocked. I wasn't angry...in fact I don't think I looked bad or anything...but I was so surprised that she felt ok to post that there, when I decided not to post pics of myself pregnant on social media.


But I think pics on social media is besides the point here. What the OP is asking is a valid question. Why do SOME mothers feel the need to embarrass the heck out of their children? I know my mother always went out of her way, and still does (I'm 35) to embarrass me. Imagine my horror, when I opened the baby picture section of my senior year book in high school, to find that my mother decided NOT to send in a baby pic at all, but a pic of me at the age of 4 or 5 sitting on the toilet frowning...it literally looks like I'm trying to poop and am in excruciating pain. I've always hated that picture (well now I don't care, but as a kid, that is damaging, come on). My mother knew I hated it, and instead of sending in a cute baby pic like everyone else did, she chose to embarrass me. I could go on with countless situations in which she blatantly tried to embarrass me, but I won't list them all.


OP, I don't know why some mothers decide to do this. Perhaps they feel we owe it to them for the years of sleeplessness, tantrums & pain (although, there is a chance we will deal with all of this in years to come when they become too old to care for themselves). Regardless of why they feel it's ok, it's not. It's mean, plain and simple.


What I can do, is offer some advice in order to cope. You can try this in any order you see fit, but there are 2 things I have done with my mother which caused most (or at least some) of the embarrassment to stop. I either completely ignore it (showing her it bothers you will only cause her to do it more) or I shove it back in her face. Embarrass her and she won't do it anymore. For example, when I was around 2 years old, for some unknown reason, my mother allowed me to play on top of a table on concrete and LEFT me there (she told my 7 year old sister to watch me). I fell off the table, of course, and broke my leg. For years, my mother brought this story up at every family function, and told it in a way to make me into the bad guy. It was MY fault I broke my leg, I was such a brat for doing that! I caused her so much stress. I was never that embarrassed by it, but it did become tedious to have to hear about it over and over. So, the LAST time it happened, I loudly responded "I was two years old! What the HECK (although I used a different word) was I doing on that table in the first place!" She was humiliated and never brought it up again.
I can so relate. I learned by 5th grade never to look embarrassed (even when I was mortified). It fed the monster. My siblings never did learn that and she just adored tormenting them. Sadly, she took her energy that she would have used to humiliate me (but couldn't) and just got mean instead.

But if they are going out of their way to torment you...all you can really do is pretend it doesn't bother you.
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Old 04-09-2018, 11:05 PM
 
15 posts, read 11,443 times
Reputation: 30
Sigh...yes, many moms overshare. I have a friend who always reposts pics from years ago (that "TBT" nonsense). They think their kids are the cutest and that certainly we all agree.

To respect their privacy, I always ask my kids if it's ok to post a certain picture on a public site and I ask them to extend the same courtesy to others.
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