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Old 04-03-2018, 08:40 AM
 
4,926 posts, read 1,934,827 times
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You must be able to get in touch with the parents - it's really not that hard. If you have to call the school and explain the situation, and have them contact the parents, do that.

I'd come at this from the perspective of a concern over the girl and a fear that she might self-harm. That will get the school's FULL attention, and not focus on this girl is a nut and she's threatening my son.

Start by calling the school counselor, and go from there.
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Old 04-03-2018, 08:48 AM
 
Location: Denver CO
17,614 posts, read 9,110,771 times
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I would definitely be apprehensive. In this case, I think I would start with the school and let them know what is happening because I would worry that this girl will escalate things and start making claims against your son. Getting your version out there first will at least help if that happens. I would be hesitant to start with the parents because that could trigger more escalation on the girl's part.
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Old 04-03-2018, 08:50 AM
 
Location: northern New England
1,354 posts, read 538,386 times
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How does she not know his address? She's never been to visit him at home?
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Old 04-03-2018, 09:00 AM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
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At this point I'd cautiously ignore it. It's group mentality and behavior when a friend was hurt. Notice I said cautiously ignore. I'd keep an eye on it for any additional actions.
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Old 04-03-2018, 09:12 AM
 
3,180 posts, read 1,058,526 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by calgirlinnc View Post
Also in general I'm really shocked at how vindictive the girl seems.


SHE called it off to begin with. And now she is going crazy on him with the "you ruined my life"'comments and "how could you break up with me".

I've really had to emphasize to my son that he did nothing wrong, that he is NOT a jerk (because he isn't), and that he has a right to go out with someone or not.

He has anxiety so her over the top reaction is doubly worse.

I'm not surprised or shocked at all. Like I said earlier...most girls bring drama at that age. I blame it on hormones (shrugging shoulders) and SOME girls go totally "mean girls", especially if they're in a pack...or a clique.


And I'm a mother of boys, and I remember mean girls from when I was that age. There's always SOME.
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Old 04-03-2018, 09:16 AM
 
841 posts, read 516,259 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
The girl and her friends have already made a "public" show of it. You don't think all their friends already know what's happening?

I've been an overly dramatic teenage girl before, and if someone doesn't check her behavior now, she will grow up to inflict more pain on others.
I agree but that’s ( somewhat) typical behavior for teenage girls to make a big dramatic show of everything. Its not typical for an adult to insert themselves in the middle of it to protect a boy. Yes its not PC, but the son will be the one vilified if it turns out that his mum came stomping to school to demand that the girls stop calling him names.

I do think this issue needs to be addressed and the girls’ parents need to be notified of how their daughter- who wasnt allowed to date to begin with- is behaving. This can be done by the OP or by the school.

But if the OP makes a big show of it, it will become less about the problematic girls and more about her running to her sons aid. At least in the eyes of the teens her son will be attending school with.
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Old 04-03-2018, 09:27 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
36,954 posts, read 35,692,498 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BLDSoon View Post

I do think this issue needs to be addressed and the girls’ parents need to be notified of how their daughter- who wasnt allowed to date to begin with- is behaving. This can be done by the OP or by the school.
I agree that this mom needs to go straight to the parents. They may have NO idea their daughter is carrying on this kind of online life. I always ask myself, "If my kid was doing this, would I want someone to tell me?"

I actually don't think she needs to bring the school into it. "The school" has enough going on, but since cyberbullying is such a popular topic these days, if she thinks it's the right outlet, an appointment with the guidance counselor is supposed to be confidential (theoretically).

Even though he's in high school, she's still his parent. I don't agree that keeping it "quiet" is the right approach. It's not right that dealing with bullying should lead to more bullying. If that's the case, then schools are only paying lip service to anti-bullying efforts.

That's why it keeps happening: These kids are not feeling ANY accountability for their actions because 1) no one calls them out on it, 2) they are getting egged on by other emotionally ignorant teens who don't have a clue what they are doing, and 3) this fear of "social repercussions" is perpetuated.

He's already facing social repercussions. It's obvious he's gotten in over his head as the new kid in this area. But it has to stop somehow.

I hate stuff like this.
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Old 04-03-2018, 09:57 AM
 
Location: St. Louis, MO
3,772 posts, read 4,950,350 times
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I'm on both sides of the fence about this.

As a parent, I know that our children will always be our babies, and we would go through hellfire and back to defend and protect them.

But, I also remember very clearly what it was like to be a teenager. I was a teen in the late 90s to early 00s, so in my day, a lot of the "drama" occurred on AIM, MSN Messenger, mIRC, and landlines, as not everyone had a cell phone yet like many do now.

While I never personally pulled a stunt like this girl, I remember feeling like my life was over after high school relationships ended, and I remember drama ensuing (with other couples) similar to what has been described.

As of right now, it doesn't sound like any of them have made threats on your sons life, and she hasn't threatened to kill herself, even if their behavior is nasty and inappropriate.

However, your son is 15 going on 16. If he was 9 or 10, I could see getting parents and the school immediately involved, but at this age, it may just embarrass him and cause things to escalate (ie: "awww widdle Jimmy went crying to his momma" etc etc). It could cause him to be ostracized, as awful as that sounds.

If I were you, I would attempt to talk to your son and ask what he wants.

Suggest either getting their numbers blocked, or even getting his phone number changed. Ask him if the harrassment extends to in person, at school. Also suggest that he makes sure his friends know these girls have gone crazy on him, so that they have his back.

If he thinks it is bad enough that the school and parents are involved, then by all means, follow his wishes.

If you're worried about the safety of your home, you can get wireless security cameras fairly affordably these days. If they actually do tresspass and attempt to vandalize your property or something, you'll have it on camera to take to the authorities.

As of right now, do take screenshots, continue to communicate with your son, and closely monitor the situation.

Teenage years and teenage drama is rough!

Good luck and best wishes to you both!
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Old 04-03-2018, 10:05 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
36,954 posts, read 35,692,498 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by glamatomic View Post

If I were you, I would attempt to talk to your son and ask what he wants.
I would be interested in knowing this, too.

It's encouraging that he's told his parents what is going on in the first place. (I guess he told, unless she found out some other way ... )
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Old 04-03-2018, 10:24 AM
 
3,352 posts, read 2,715,604 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VTsnowbird View Post
How does she not know his address? She's never been to visit him at home?
No, she was not allowed to (for which I am now thankful).
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