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Old 04-12-2018, 08:21 AM
 
Location: Sunnyvale, CA
4,888 posts, read 8,899,377 times
Reputation: 2435

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Just reading the OP's first post. Saw a couple of the first replies. Skipped the rest of it.
My two cents: firstly, why is the OP spying on the son's text messages. Shouldn't be doing that.
Second these are just normal arguments between teenagers. There's no need for parents to get involved.
Thirdly, as women very well know, females often will say the opposite of what they mean in order to test and gauge the guy's response. Perhaps in this case the girlfriend saying she wanted to take a break was just to see what your son's reaction would be. Being a guy, he took it literally and said "ok, then, we'll break up." So she got upset because that's not what she really wanted.

Why put your noses into this? This is normal stuff that happens at school with teenagers. You should feel lucky you're not dealing with rough, inner city ghetto schools where far worse stuff happens.

Last edited by 80skeys; 04-12-2018 at 08:29 AM..
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Old 04-18-2018, 05:18 PM
 
3,740 posts, read 2,915,749 times
Reputation: 4666
Quote:
Originally Posted by 80skeys View Post
Just reading the OP's first post. Saw a couple of the first replies. Skipped the rest of it.
My two cents: firstly, why is the OP spying on the son's text messages. Shouldn't be doing that.
Second these are just normal arguments between teenagers. There's no need for parents to get involved.
Thirdly, as women very well know, females often will say the opposite of what they mean in order to test and gauge the guy's response. Perhaps in this case the girlfriend saying she wanted to take a break was just to see what your son's reaction would be. Being a guy, he took it literally and said "ok, then, we'll break up." So she got upset because that's not what she really wanted.

Why put your noses into this? This is normal stuff that happens at school with teenagers. You should feel lucky you're not dealing with rough, inner city ghetto schools where far worse stuff happens.
I really don't appreciate your assumption that I was "spying on my son's text messages."

He voluntarily showed them to me. Yes, we have that kind of a relationship that he was bothered by something and trusted me enough to come to me with it.

Having said that, the condition of him having a cell phone is that either I or his dad can ask to see it at any moment. If he won't hand it over, he doesn't get to have it. Simple as that. I rarely look at it though, because when I have done random checks there has been nothing to see. I also have access to his one social
media platform.

I will put my nose into whatever business I feel may harm my son or my family physically or emotionally. And I don't need your approval or permission to do so.

Meanwhile, nothing else has really happened (some occasional gossip), but overall my son seems happier than he did before the "break-up".
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Old 04-18-2018, 05:27 PM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
17,354 posts, read 3,528,493 times
Reputation: 22588
Quote:
Originally Posted by calgirlinnc View Post
I really don't appreciate your assumption that I was "spying on my son's text messages."

He voluntarily showed them to me. Yes, we have that kind of a relationship that he was bothered by something and trusted me enough to come to me with it.

Having said that, the condition of him having a cell phone is that either I or his dad can ask to see it at any moment. If he won't hand it over, he doesn't get to have it. Simple as that. I rarely look at it though, because when I have done random checks there has been nothing to see. I also have access to his one social
media platform.

I will put my nose into whatever business I feel may harm my son or my family physically or emotionally. And I don't need your approval or permission to do so.

Meanwhile, nothing else has really happened (some occasional gossip), but overall my son seems happier than he did before the "break-up".



Good for you, Mom! I happen to think parents should be all over their child's room and devices...searching for issues that could become detrimental for their child or someone else...privacy second, safety first.

Glad he is doing better...that could have gotten scary...
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Old 04-19-2018, 11:29 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
76 posts, read 69,137 times
Reputation: 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by calgirlinnc View Post
I really don't appreciate your assumption that I was "spying on my son's text messages."

He voluntarily showed them to me. Yes, we have that kind of a relationship that he was bothered by something and trusted me enough to come to me with it.

Having said that, the condition of him having a cell phone is that either I or his dad can ask to see it at any moment. If he won't hand it over, he doesn't get to have it. Simple as that. I rarely look at it though, because when I have done random checks there has been nothing to see. I also have access to his one social
media platform.

I will put my nose into whatever business I feel may harm my son or my family physically or emotionally. And I don't need your approval or permission to do so.

Meanwhile, nothing else has really happened (some occasional gossip), but overall my son seems happier than he did before the "break-up".
Sounds like it's headed in the right direction. And it also sounds like you are raising your son very well

Teenage girls love drama. Your plan to wait and see and keep screen shots was a good one... Good luck, and as others said, hopefully she's moved on. Her parents are in for a rude awakening....
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Old 04-19-2018, 12:21 PM
 
3,740 posts, read 2,915,749 times
Reputation: 4666
Quote:
Originally Posted by marehoodlum View Post
Sounds like it's headed in the right direction. And it also sounds like you are raising your son very well

Teenage girls love drama. Your plan to wait and see and keep screen shots was a good one... Good luck, and as others said, hopefully she's moved on. Her parents are in for a rude awakening....
Thanks, how nice of you to say.

I thought about PP's comment that maybe the girl was testing him/saying the opposite of what she really wanted.

Well, maybe she learned the hard way not to play mind games. One can hope, anyway.
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Old 04-19-2018, 09:50 PM
 
Location: Sunnyvale, CA
4,888 posts, read 8,899,377 times
Reputation: 2435
Quote:
Originally Posted by greatblueheron View Post
Good for you, Mom! I happen to think parents should be all over their child's room and devices...
Very not good.
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Old 04-20-2018, 05:33 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,104 posts, read 17,634,355 times
Reputation: 22439
Quote:
Originally Posted by 80skeys View Post
Very not good.


You know if you live in my house , my rules . Under 18 don't like me looking at your devices too bad again my house , my house ,my rules . You use my electricity to charge those devices . This girl is twisted and your son needs to stay away from that girl pronto and avoid her at all costs . I m glad she might have left him alone now .
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Old 04-21-2018, 10:18 AM
 
Location: Sunnyvale, CA
4,888 posts, read 8,899,377 times
Reputation: 2435
Seems like a pretty antagonistic relationship to be having with one's kids.
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Old 04-21-2018, 01:58 PM
 
3,740 posts, read 2,915,749 times
Reputation: 4666
Quote:
Originally Posted by 80skeys View Post
Seems like a pretty antagonistic relationship to be having with one's kids.
You sound like you are 14.
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Old 04-22-2018, 07:34 AM
 
Location: Dallas TX
14,294 posts, read 20,539,012 times
Reputation: 20159
Quote:
Originally Posted by 80skeys View Post
Seems like a pretty antagonistic relationship to be having with one's kids.
Sounds like parenting one’s kids.
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