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Old 04-07-2018, 08:11 PM
 
Location: San Gabriel Valley
512 posts, read 212,014 times
Reputation: 2027

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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
LOL so YOU get to keep the rest???

How is that ethical?
I'm not keeping anything. He returned the $100.

The money I reward him is out of my own pocket.

If they let him keep the money, then he keeps it.
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Old 04-07-2018, 08:28 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
35,750 posts, read 34,386,000 times
Reputation: 66807
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maliblue View Post
My thought is that this is a perfect opportunity to teach him something about ethics, and we really could use more ethical people in the world.

...


I might tell him that he handled his finances shrewdly. However, I'd point out that ethically, he shouldn't take advantage of other people's generosity.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maliblue View Post
I'm not keeping anything. He returned the $100.

The money I reward him is out of my own pocket.

If they let him keep the money, then he keeps it.
Meh, all that lecturing and "rewarding" is just a lot of sanctimony that makes a simple situation overly difficult.

He wouldn't be "taking advantage of their generosity." You're adding a layer of unnecessary guilt to this situation. The friend's family already presented to the son a great example of ethics in action. Their son broke something of his, and without being prompted they made it right. End of story.

All the OP's hand-wringing over the cost is unnecessary.
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Old 04-07-2018, 08:56 PM
 
Location: Texas
571 posts, read 435,706 times
Reputation: 1679
Say that my friend lent me her pearls to wear for a party. Then, say that I lost her pearls. I would pay her for what she paid. Whether or not she decides to buy another necklace OR buy a cheaper pair is NONE of my business. And I would not care one bit if she just pocketed the money. My payment is for the loss only and nothing else.

I think it would be different if the skateboard was not a total loss and he was able to just replace the wheels and pocket the rest. Then the friend should just pay for repair.

You son should keep the money guilt free. He sounds quite money smart to me!
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Old 04-07-2018, 09:12 PM
 
12,665 posts, read 18,894,417 times
Reputation: 32430
I also agree the son has no obligation to return the money. The destroyed skateboard was $170, and the other family paid that debt in full. What happens to the money at this point is up to your son. He may not like the offered wheels and want to upgrade them at some point, or the other friend may renege on his offer of them. And since your son paid for the first board himself, it should be his decision what to do with the money now.
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Old 04-08-2018, 01:56 AM
 
15,312 posts, read 17,300,417 times
Reputation: 24003
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maliblue View Post
My thought is that this is a perfect opportunity to teach him something about ethics, and we really could use more ethical people in the world.

Regardless of whether or not he profited from the transaction, the $100 was not intended as a bonus; it was supposed to go for a board. I'd point out that often the way such transactions occur in the real world is that he would spend the money first, and then go to the kid's parents with the receipt. In this case, the parents were generous and trusted the money was only for the board.

I think that if he were encouraged to return the balance in the spirit in which it was offered, the parents would be very impressed with his character. I'm willing to bet that they even tell him it's okay, he can keep it. If they do, then he can keep it. However, they are not obligated to do so, so he should go there with the intent of returning it and not expecting to get it back.

If he did this with a positive attitude, I'd reward him afterwards with some spending money (not the full $100 because I wouldn't want him to feel entitled to that sum) Since I am a softy, I'd probably make up the difference by taking him to his favorite restaurant or something.

I might tell him that he handled his finances shrewdly. However, I'd point out that ethically, he shouldn't take advantage of other people's generosity.
It's all good. Leave the kid alone....
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Old 04-08-2018, 11:46 AM
 
9,498 posts, read 6,629,150 times
Reputation: 16521
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
I stated what I would do if it were my child.
You obviously can do what you wish with your child.
I personally would choose to do as I stated and in my opinion, if something other than what I stated is done it is stealing.
The OP did state the *new out of pocket cost* which is $170.00 and the OP also stated the money given was given specifically to *replace* the broken skateboard.
Yes, it's money to replace the skateboard. Not money to use for something else. Parent-to-parent transactions make more sense to me anyway.

How do you break a skateboard? Run over it?
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Old 04-08-2018, 02:02 PM
 
21,122 posts, read 20,096,387 times
Reputation: 25619
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maliblue View Post
I'm not keeping anything. He returned the $100.

The money I reward him is out of my own pocket.

If they let him keep the money, then he keeps it.
I agree. If they reward him for his honesty, all the better.
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Old 04-08-2018, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Dfw
274 posts, read 33,391 times
Reputation: 242
Let him keep the money. Geez...they paid for the darn board..he can keep the rest and spend it as he wants. Whats the problem???
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Old 04-09-2018, 01:42 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
1,759 posts, read 2,077,547 times
Reputation: 2548
If someone hits and totals your car, and their insurance pays you $20k to replace it, but you buy a car for $10k, are you going to send the insurance company $10k back? I highly doubt it.
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Old 04-09-2018, 02:04 PM
 
14,412 posts, read 15,200,380 times
Reputation: 23840
I agree with your son. He spent his own $170 on the skateboard and it's his decision to do what he wants with the replacement funds. I don't see anything unethical about it at all.
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