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Old 04-09-2018, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
15,053 posts, read 14,342,914 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JONOV View Post
Just my .02, as someone that went to school 8 hours away from home. I think there's a sweet spot, around 2-4 hours, for distance from home. Far enough that its inconvenient when the first "challenge" hits you, close enough that its doable if something big happens (death in the family, you get really sick, etc...)
We told our daughter that we preferred that she attend college that was less than "an easy day's drive" from home. She literally got out a protractor and drew a circle a six/seven hour drive away and selected a college on that circle. LOL

IMHO, a six/seven hour drive is easy for most emergencies and you don't have to limit yourself to 2 to 4 hours away.
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Old 04-09-2018, 11:12 AM
 
627 posts, read 300,599 times
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You know how something seems like a good idea until it’s said out loud. Yeah. I’m just going to miss her so much. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction.


We live in RVA. I was thinking maybe the university of Maryland...
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Old 04-09-2018, 11:21 AM
 
847 posts, read 338,928 times
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Going out of state to college sounds good but it is just an expensive field trip. I would encourage your daughter to go to a local public university. You/she will save a ton of money and she may find that living in a dorm is a lot less enjoyable than living at home and driving to school. When I graduated from high school I went away (even though it was just 40 miles) to college and lived on campus. It was a miserable experience and I quit after a couple of months. The following year I started at a local public university. I lived at home, and then when I could afford it in a few nearby studio apartments, commuting to school. I finished in 4 years, got my B.A., was able to work part time, participated in sports and activities, and enjoyed myself. My last semester I worked in the dorm kitchen, and pitied the people that had to live there.
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Old 04-09-2018, 11:38 AM
 
Location: Denver CO
16,128 posts, read 8,407,290 times
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I'm a solo parent of one kid. I have zero intention of relocating to follow him to college, wherever that may be.

I do think it's likely that once he's settled down somewhere and I'm ready to retire, I would probably relocate to where he is at that point. My widowed mother is local for my sister and me and it's been far easier to help her out as needed by being in the same location.

But for college, nope.

Having said that, there is a strong chance he could end up at our flagship state university which is 30-60 minutes away depending on traffic. It's a good school with an excellent program in his current intended major. I'm still encouraging him to consider other options and we'll start making some college visits over the next few years as he gets ready to start high school this fall and see how it all plays out.
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Old 04-09-2018, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Denver CO
16,128 posts, read 8,407,290 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bobspez View Post
Going out of state to college sounds good but it is just an expensive field trip. I would encourage your daughter to go to a local public university. You/she will save a ton of money and she may find that living in a dorm is a lot less enjoyable than living at home and driving to school. When I graduated from high school I went away (even though it was just 40 miles) to college and lived on campus. It was a miserable experience and I quit after a couple of months. The following year I started at a local public university. I lived at home, and then when I could afford it in a few nearby studio apartments, commuting to school. I finished in 4 years, got my B.A., was able to work part time, participated in sports and activities, and enjoyed myself. My last semester I worked in the dorm kitchen, and pitied the people that had to live there.
If a student is a qualified candidate for a highly selective school such as an Ivy, it's not necessarily less expensive to go to a state school depending on the family's financial circumstances. You don't have to be poor to qualify for financial aid, though, and these schools give a way a lot more money than a less well endowed private school, often making it extremely competitive costwise with a state school.
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Old 04-09-2018, 12:11 PM
 
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My son commuted to Hunter College on the upper East side of NYC and got his BA in English. A friend of his went to Yale for a B.A. in English and lived in the dorm. My son visited him for a weekend and saw he was living in a concrete block room, in a lousy part of town. My son's 4 year education cost him $20K. His friend's Yale education at the time cost over $100K. Almost 20 years later, the Yale degree didn't have a major impact on his friend's work life or earnings. The value of ivy league educations confer to rich people because of their social status, not their education. In fact an undergraduate college curriculum (except in technical or scientific fields) is pretty uniform across the board regardless of whether you go to a good public university or a good ivy league school.
Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
If a student is a qualified candidate for a highly selective school such as an Ivy, it's not necessarily less expensive to go to a state school depending on the family's financial circumstances. You don't have to be poor to qualify for financial aid, though, and these schools give a way a lot more money than a less well endowed private school, often making it extremely competitive costwise with a state school.
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Old 04-09-2018, 12:18 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
16,128 posts, read 8,407,290 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bobspez View Post
My son commuted to Hunter College on the upper East side of NYC and got his BA in English. A friend of his went to Yale for a B.A. in English and lived in the dorm. My son visited him for a weekend and saw he was living in a concrete block room, in a lousy part of town. My son's 4 year education cost him $20K. His friend's Yale education at the time cost over $100K. Almost 20 years later, the Yale degree didn't have a major impact on his friend's life. The value of ivy league educations confer to rich people because of their social status, not their education. In fact an undergraduate college curriculum (except in technical or scientific fields) is pretty uniform across the board regardless of whether you go to a good public university or a good ivy league school.
Then presumably his friend's family had enough money to pay 100K. But the average middle class family does not pay full freight.

And I personally disagree that there is no extra educational value to an Ivy education. I took classes from people who were world experts, some of whom are in the news on a regular basis even now, decades after I graduated. I took specialized classes, including graduate level classes as an undergrad, there were not available at other schools.

I'm not saying every student should go to an Ivy or other highly selective school, just making the point that the cost should not automatically be the deciding factor. A student who is interested in that option should at least explore the possibility before automatically ruling it out based on a very likely incorrect assumption about how much it would cost.
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Old 04-09-2018, 01:02 PM
 
14,418 posts, read 15,200,380 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Va83 View Post
Itís been for the most part just me and my kid from the start. If it wasnít for my aunt we would have moved to a beach community a long time ago. Anyway the kid is growing older and is happy here so Iím trapped here for a few more years. Iíve started a calendar count down to when she graduates. Sheís extremely smart. Thereís no reason for her to not attend and graduate from a good college. Of course Iím encouraging her to go out of state. Hereís my question. If you were in my situation would you move wherever she went to school or just ship her off and see her during the holidays? Iím sure sheíll have her own life and I wonít see her as much as I like either way. Can the college parents give me some advice?
As others have said, don't follow her to college. But I also wouldn't plan a move for September of the year she moves out. My daughter is a freshman and had a very rocky first semester. She was only 3 hours away but extremely homesick and came home often. She also got sick and had surgery and then got the flu and came home for a week at the recommendation of the school. I was glad for the short drive to get to her when she needed us.

This semester is better and she will be going back as a sophomore. We want to move out of state but I'm going to wait at least one more year to make sure she's settled and happy. Hopefully your daughter will have a better first semester and won't be as needy as mine. But if I were you, I wouldn't add to the stress that you'll both be feeling by planning a big move as soon as she's out of the house.
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Old 04-09-2018, 01:12 PM
 
811 posts, read 545,593 times
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I agree with the post above about waiting a year to move. Both my kids went to schools out of state and even though my son was fine my daughter was pretty homesick her first year or at least her first semester.
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Old 04-09-2018, 01:17 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
16,128 posts, read 8,407,290 times
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I'm not sure why people are counseling the OP to not move far away for a year? She's asking about moving to be near her daughter, not planning a more to be further away from where the daughter attends college.
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