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Old 04-09-2018, 01:38 PM
 
Location: here
23,999 posts, read 27,479,909 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow View Post
As others have said, don't follow her to college. But I also wouldn't plan a move for September of the year she moves out. My daughter is a freshman and had a very rocky first semester. She was only 3 hours away but extremely homesick and came home often. She also got sick and had surgery and then got the flu and came home for a week at the recommendation of the school. I was glad for the short drive to get to her when she needed us.

This semester is better and she will be going back as a sophomore. We want to move out of state but I'm going to wait at least one more year to make sure she's settled and happy. Hopefully your daughter will have a better first semester and won't be as needy as mine. But if I were you, I wouldn't add to the stress that you'll both be feeling by planning a big move as soon as she's out of the house.
This is a good idea. I think college students should have a place to go home to, at least for the first bit.

Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
I'm not sure why people are counseling the OP to not move far away for a year? She's asking about moving to be near her daughter, not planning a more to be further away from where the daughter attends college.
She said she wanted to move away and feels stuck where she is. She's agreed with the advice not to follow her daughter. The alternative is moving someplace else.
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Old 04-09-2018, 02:32 PM
 
847 posts, read 338,928 times
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If you are the absolute cream of the crop you will get a scholarship to any school. If you are not and are a middle class person that gets accepted to an ivy league college I really don't know what kind of financial assistance you can get, and what your college loan balance will be when you are done, but I wouldn't be surprised if it is not many times what you would pay and/or owe at a good public university in a state that you reside in, probably 5 to 10 times more than if you live at home and commute to school. I graduated from a top rated public university, UCLA, and I can honestly say that the whole education was pretty much a scam and didn't prepare me in any way for work. There was nothing I learned at 4 years of UCLA that had any relevance to the real world, other than maybe an appreciation of art, and a knowledge that you had to stick it out and suffer some fools in order to achieve your goals. My experience is that the diploma is just a passport to a job application process, and once hired, it no longer matters where you got your degree or what your GPA was. I'm sure it's different if you want to go into education, maybe teach at your alma mater, or an exclusive prep school, but other than that any ivy league education, as nice and interesting as it may have been, is an experience that doesn't translate to your success in your work life. I worked along side of people who had degrees from Harvard, West Point, the Naval Academy and other ivy league schools. We were all small fish in the same pond. We all made out about the same.
Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
If a student is a qualified candidate for a highly selective school such as an Ivy, it's not necessarily less expensive to go to a state school depending on the family's financial circumstances. You don't have to be poor to qualify for financial aid, though, and these schools give a way a lot more money than a less well endowed private school, often making it extremely competitive costwise with a state school.

Last edited by bobspez; 04-09-2018 at 02:41 PM..
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Old 04-09-2018, 02:48 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
16,142 posts, read 8,407,290 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bobspez View Post
If you are the absolute cream of the crop you will get a scholarship to any school. If you are not and are a middle class person that gets accepted to an ivy league college I really don't know what kind of financial assistance you can get, and what your college loan balance will be when you are done, but I wouldn't be surprised if it is not many times what you would pay and/or owe at a good public university in a state that you reside in, probably 5 to 10 times less than if you live at home and commute to school. I graduated from a top rated public university, UCLA, and I can honestly say that the whole education was pretty much a scam and didn't prepare me in any way for work. There was nothing I learned at 4 years of UCLA that had any relevance to the real world, other than maybe an appreciation of art, and a knowledge that you had to stick it out and suffer some fools in order to achieve your goals. My experience is that the diploma is just a passport to a job application process, and once hired, it no longer matters where you got your degree or what your GPA was. I'm sure it's different if you want to go into education, maybe teach at your alma mater, or an exclusive prep school, but other than that any ivy league education, as nice and interesting as it may have been, is an experience that doesn't translate to your success in your work life. I worked along side of people who had degrees from Harvard, West Point, the Naval Academy and other ivy league schools. We were all small fish in the same pond. We all made out about the same.
Ivy league colleges do not give scholarships, they give financial aid based on financial need. Admissions are need blind, and then the financial aid office puts together a package based on the information that has been submitted, and they are committed to providing 100% funding of documented financial need, with what most people consider a pretty generous definition of documented need. Several of them have calculators on line to get a general idea of how much aid someone would qualify for. And most (maybe all by now, but I'm not sure) provide loan-free aid, meaning that students graduate with no college loan debt.

For example

https://college.harvard.edu/financia...ice-calculator

Also from the Harvard website

Quote:
Our program requires no contribution from Harvard families with annual incomes below $65,000. About 20% of our families have no parent contribution.

Families with incomes between $65,000 and $150,000 will contribute from 0-10% of their income, and those with incomes above $150,000 will be asked to pay proportionately more than 10%, based on their individual circumstances.
So no, the average middle class student will not graduate from an Ivy league school with many times the debt of what someone would pay for a state school.

Basically, you just keep proving my point which is that a lot of people have no idea how financial aid at Ivies and other highly selective schools works. As I already said, I don't think everyone should be trying to go to Harvard or similar schools. But I also think it's important to let people know that *if they are already interested in that level of school* that the finances may not be as daunting as they think and it's at least looking into more. And they could end up being happily surprised at the actual cost to attend if they are accepted.
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Old 04-09-2018, 03:25 PM
 
847 posts, read 338,928 times
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Sure, if you are able to take advantage of the Harvard program based on low income and lack of assets, you will pay less than you may pay at a public university (assuming you got no scholarship at the public university). I agree. But what are the odds? Going back to 2014 college enrollment data, there were between 4 to 5 million college freshman in the US in 2014. 34,000 of them applied (and presumably felt qualified to attend Harvard) and Harvard acctepted 2,000 into the class of 2018, and some 70% received some sort of scholarship aid based on the student and partents' income and assets. So 1,400 students out of 4 to 5 million college freshmen got this benefit at Harvard. Multiply that by 8 to account for all 8 ivy league colleges, and you get maybe 10,000 out of 4 to 5 million freshmen,or 1/4 of 1 percent or less of college freshmen. So you may be correct (depending on how you classify middle class) the average middle class student will not graduate from an Ivy league school with many times the debt of what someone would pay for a state school, but 99.998% of all class college freshmen will not qualify to attend an ivy league school and receive aid.
Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
Ivy league colleges do not give scholarships, they give financial aid based on financial need. Admissions are need blind, and then the financial aid office puts together a package based on the information that has been submitted, and they are committed to providing 100% funding of documented financial need, with what most people consider a pretty generous definition of documented need. Several of them have calculators on line to get a general idea of how much aid someone would qualify for. And most (maybe all by now, but I'm not sure) provide loan-free aid, meaning that students graduate with no college loan debt.

For example

https://college.harvard.edu/financia...ice-calculator

Also from the Harvard website





Basically, you just keep proving my point which is that a lot of people have no idea how financial aid at Ivies and other highly selective schools works. As I already said, I don't think everyone should be trying to go to Harvard or similar schools. But I also think it's important to let people know that *if they are already interested in that level of school* that the finances may not be as daunting as they think and it's at least looking into more. And they could end up being happily surprised at the actual cost to attend if they are accepted.
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Old 04-09-2018, 03:50 PM
 
Location: here
23,999 posts, read 27,479,909 times
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I think there are too many variables to know if out of state or in state would be cheaper. I thought the OP's comment about "of course" encouraging her daughter to go out of state was odd, though.
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Old 04-09-2018, 04:21 PM
 
627 posts, read 300,599 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
I think there are too many variables to know if out of state or in state would be cheaper. I thought the OP's comment about "of course" encouraging her daughter to go out of state was odd, though.
Why is it odd that I would want my daughter to go away for school if I myself feel trapped here?
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Old 04-09-2018, 04:59 PM
 
Location: here
23,999 posts, read 27,479,909 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Va83 View Post
Why is it odd that I would want my daughter to go away for school if I myself feel trapped here?
Just the way you made it sound like a no brainer... "of course." Without more context, that isn't an "of course" to me. Not a big deal. It just stuck out to me. I think later you said you live in VA? I've always lived in large western states, so going out of state has a different meaning to me, maybe. It means going a lot farther away. You can go "away" without leaving the state.
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Old 04-09-2018, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
15,053 posts, read 14,342,914 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Va83 View Post
Why is it odd that I would want my daughter to go away for school if I myself feel trapped here?
"Going away" for college does not automatically mean that you have to go out of state.
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Old 04-09-2018, 05:06 PM
 
627 posts, read 300,599 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
"Going away" for college does not mean that you have to go out of state.
Mmmm... yes and no. Seeing as Baltimore MD is about 4 hours from here... Virginia isnít that big. But I guess if she attends Norfolk State that is going away too since itís 2 hours away.
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Old 04-09-2018, 06:06 PM
 
47,111 posts, read 47,099,131 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JONOV View Post
Just my .02, as someone that went to school 8 hours away from home. I think there's a sweet spot, around 2-4 hours, for distance from home. Far enough that its inconvenient when the first "challenge" hits you, close enough that its doable if something big happens (death in the family, you get really sick, etc...)
That's what my daughter wanted, something far enough away that she was away, but somewhere from which she could drive. She ended up three hours away in a neighboring state. Because my state university is so expensive for residents, it wasn't that much more for her to attend the state university there.

Then she got a scholarship to study in China in her junior year... I encouraged her to do that, though.
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