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Old 04-08-2018, 09:41 PM
 
678 posts, read 339,093 times
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Itís been for the most part just me and my kid from the start. If it wasnít for my aunt we would have moved to a beach community a long time ago. Anyway the kid is growing older and is happy here so Iím trapped here for a few more years. Iíve started a calendar count down to when she graduates. Sheís extremely smart. Thereís no reason for her to not attend and graduate from a good college. Of course Iím encouraging her to go out of state. Hereís my question. If you were in my situation would you move wherever she went to school or just ship her off and see her during the holidays? Iím sure sheíll have her own life and I wonít see her as much as I like either way. Can the college parents give me some advice?
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Old 04-08-2018, 09:55 PM
 
12,776 posts, read 19,248,112 times
Reputation: 33052
All three of mine went away to (different) schools. Not a single one remained in their university town after graduating. Stay, or move to an area YOU want to live in, because chances are your daughter will only be there for four years anyway.

Oh, and let your daughter enjoy her independence.
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Old 04-09-2018, 07:27 AM
 
748 posts, read 200,680 times
Reputation: 1928
Quote:
Originally Posted by Va83 View Post
Itís been for the most part just me and my kid from the start. If it wasnít for my aunt we would have moved to a beach community a long time ago. Anyway the kid is growing older and is happy here so Iím trapped here for a few more years. Iíve started a calendar count down to when she graduates. Sheís extremely smart. Thereís no reason for her to not attend and graduate from a good college. Of course Iím encouraging her to go out of state. Hereís my question. If you were in my situation would you move wherever she went to school or just ship her off and see her during the holidays? Iím sure sheíll have her own life and I wonít see her as much as I like either way. Can the college parents give me some advice?
For the love of god, do not follow your kid to college!!! Let her fly.
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Old 04-09-2018, 08:54 AM
 
Location: here
24,166 posts, read 27,978,109 times
Reputation: 30043
Quote:
Originally Posted by Va83 View Post
Itís been for the most part just me and my kid from the start. If it wasnít for my aunt we would have moved to a beach community a long time ago. Anyway the kid is growing older and is happy here so Iím trapped here for a few more years. Iíve started a calendar count down to when she graduates. Sheís extremely smart. Thereís no reason for her to not attend and graduate from a good college. Of course Iím encouraging her to go out of state. Hereís my question. If you were in my situation would you move wherever she went to school or just ship her off and see her during the holidays? Iím sure sheíll have her own life and I wonít see her as much as I like either way. Can the college parents give me some advice?
You phrased the options as if not following her to college is a bad thing. It's not. Do not follow her to college. She'll be busy finding her own way, and may not stay there afterward anyway. It is completely normal for people to go away to college and only come home on holidays. You can visit her. She can visit. But she needs to be allowed to start her own life.
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Old 04-09-2018, 09:03 AM
 
4,921 posts, read 1,928,446 times
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Almost no one moves to where their kids are in college, unless the student has concerning problems, or disabilities.
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Old 04-09-2018, 09:47 AM
 
583 posts, read 228,599 times
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I've never heard of a parent following their kid to college. Let your daughter go where she wants to go, but I'm sure you're aware it's going to be more expensive to attend school out of state. If that means taking more on in terms of student loans, you might want to reconsider.
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Old 04-09-2018, 09:54 AM
 
8,242 posts, read 8,245,817 times
Reputation: 11487
Let your kid have some fun on their own. Also, time for you to start enjoying the next phase of your life as your kid becomes and adult and starts their own life.
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Old 04-09-2018, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Chicago
3,232 posts, read 4,369,354 times
Reputation: 3930
I would have been pretty pissed if my parents followed me to college. That should definitely not be a consideration. Move to where you want to live, regardless of what your daughter does for school. I didn't stay in my college town, anyway, so if my family had moved there it would have been a waste. If, after graduating college, your daughter moves somewhere and settles down and you like that area, then maybe consider moving at that point. But, I would have a frank discussion with your daughter first. I would definitely not move somewhere with the expectation of seeing her more because there's a chance she won't want that.
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Old 04-09-2018, 10:40 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
15,649 posts, read 14,961,338 times
Reputation: 36081
Quote:
Originally Posted by OttoR View Post
For the love of god, do not follow your kid to college!!! Let her fly.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
You phrased the options as if not following her to college is a bad thing. It's not. Do not follow her to college. She'll be busy finding her own way, and may not stay there afterward anyway. It is completely normal for people to go away to college and only come home on holidays. You can visit her. She can visit. But she needs to be allowed to start her own life.
Please do not follow her to college. That would be something like expecting to go along with her on her honeymoon and sharing a bedroom with her and her new husband. (Please tell us that you aren't considering that, too).

Quote:
Originally Posted by SparklesNShine View Post
I've never heard of a parent following their kid to college. Let your daughter go where she wants to go, but I'm sure you're aware it's going to be more expensive to attend school out of state. If that means taking more on in terms of student loans, you might want to reconsider.
Yes, tuition for out-of-state schools can easily increase her student loan debt by $50,000 or more. Can you/she really afford that extra expense?
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Old 04-09-2018, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Raleigh
6,348 posts, read 4,733,492 times
Reputation: 8455
Just my .02, as someone that went to school 8 hours away from home. I think there's a sweet spot, around 2-4 hours, for distance from home. Far enough that its inconvenient when the first "challenge" hits you, close enough that its doable if something big happens (death in the family, you get really sick, etc...)
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