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Old 04-08-2018, 09:41 PM
 
882 posts, read 420,630 times
Reputation: 798

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Itís been for the most part just me and my kid from the start. If it wasnít for my aunt we would have moved to a beach community a long time ago. Anyway the kid is growing older and is happy here so Iím trapped here for a few more years. Iíve started a calendar count down to when she graduates. Sheís extremely smart. Thereís no reason for her to not attend and graduate from a good college. Of course Iím encouraging her to go out of state. Hereís my question. If you were in my situation would you move wherever she went to school or just ship her off and see her during the holidays? Iím sure sheíll have her own life and I wonít see her as much as I like either way. Can the college parents give me some advice?
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Old 04-08-2018, 09:55 PM
 
12,915 posts, read 19,798,895 times
Reputation: 33939
All three of mine went away to (different) schools. Not a single one remained in their university town after graduating. Stay, or move to an area YOU want to live in, because chances are your daughter will only be there for four years anyway.

Oh, and let your daughter enjoy her independence.
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Old 04-09-2018, 07:27 AM
Status: "Pit bulls have killed 22 people this year. BSL NOW!" (set 2 hours ago)
 
1,150 posts, read 326,373 times
Reputation: 2977
Quote:
Originally Posted by Va83 View Post
Itís been for the most part just me and my kid from the start. If it wasnít for my aunt we would have moved to a beach community a long time ago. Anyway the kid is growing older and is happy here so Iím trapped here for a few more years. Iíve started a calendar count down to when she graduates. Sheís extremely smart. Thereís no reason for her to not attend and graduate from a good college. Of course Iím encouraging her to go out of state. Hereís my question. If you were in my situation would you move wherever she went to school or just ship her off and see her during the holidays? Iím sure sheíll have her own life and I wonít see her as much as I like either way. Can the college parents give me some advice?
For the love of god, do not follow your kid to college!!! Let her fly.
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Old 04-09-2018, 08:54 AM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,744,558 times
Reputation: 31041
Quote:
Originally Posted by Va83 View Post
Itís been for the most part just me and my kid from the start. If it wasnít for my aunt we would have moved to a beach community a long time ago. Anyway the kid is growing older and is happy here so Iím trapped here for a few more years. Iíve started a calendar count down to when she graduates. Sheís extremely smart. Thereís no reason for her to not attend and graduate from a good college. Of course Iím encouraging her to go out of state. Hereís my question. If you were in my situation would you move wherever she went to school or just ship her off and see her during the holidays? Iím sure sheíll have her own life and I wonít see her as much as I like either way. Can the college parents give me some advice?
You phrased the options as if not following her to college is a bad thing. It's not. Do not follow her to college. She'll be busy finding her own way, and may not stay there afterward anyway. It is completely normal for people to go away to college and only come home on holidays. You can visit her. She can visit. But she needs to be allowed to start her own life.
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Old 04-09-2018, 09:03 AM
 
6,747 posts, read 2,623,927 times
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Almost no one moves to where their kids are in college, unless the student has concerning problems, or disabilities.
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Old 04-09-2018, 09:47 AM
 
583 posts, read 251,901 times
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I've never heard of a parent following their kid to college. Let your daughter go where she wants to go, but I'm sure you're aware it's going to be more expensive to attend school out of state. If that means taking more on in terms of student loans, you might want to reconsider.
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Old 04-09-2018, 09:54 AM
 
8,720 posts, read 8,927,230 times
Reputation: 12189
Let your kid have some fun on their own. Also, time for you to start enjoying the next phase of your life as your kid becomes and adult and starts their own life.
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Old 04-09-2018, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Chicago
3,260 posts, read 4,508,535 times
Reputation: 3991
I would have been pretty pissed if my parents followed me to college. That should definitely not be a consideration. Move to where you want to live, regardless of what your daughter does for school. I didn't stay in my college town, anyway, so if my family had moved there it would have been a waste. If, after graduating college, your daughter moves somewhere and settles down and you like that area, then maybe consider moving at that point. But, I would have a frank discussion with your daughter first. I would definitely not move somewhere with the expectation of seeing her more because there's a chance she won't want that.
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Old 04-09-2018, 10:40 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,489 posts, read 15,932,856 times
Reputation: 38814
Quote:
Originally Posted by OttoR View Post
For the love of god, do not follow your kid to college!!! Let her fly.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
You phrased the options as if not following her to college is a bad thing. It's not. Do not follow her to college. She'll be busy finding her own way, and may not stay there afterward anyway. It is completely normal for people to go away to college and only come home on holidays. You can visit her. She can visit. But she needs to be allowed to start her own life.
Please do not follow her to college. That would be something like expecting to go along with her on her honeymoon and sharing a bedroom with her and her new husband. (Please tell us that you aren't considering that, too).

Quote:
Originally Posted by SparklesNShine View Post
I've never heard of a parent following their kid to college. Let your daughter go where she wants to go, but I'm sure you're aware it's going to be more expensive to attend school out of state. If that means taking more on in terms of student loans, you might want to reconsider.
Yes, tuition for out-of-state schools can easily increase her student loan debt by $50,000 or more. Can you/she really afford that extra expense?
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Old 04-09-2018, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Raleigh
6,987 posts, read 5,196,162 times
Reputation: 9416
Just my .02, as someone that went to school 8 hours away from home. I think there's a sweet spot, around 2-4 hours, for distance from home. Far enough that its inconvenient when the first "challenge" hits you, close enough that its doable if something big happens (death in the family, you get really sick, etc...)
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