U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
View Poll Results: What is the obvious main problem?
Dad 0 0%
Mom 3 12.00%
Bad parenting in general 5 20.00%
Other 17 68.00%
Voters: 25. You may not vote on this poll

Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 04-14-2018, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Rochester, WA
2,792 posts, read 1,363,207 times
Reputation: 7385

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
While I am sure that some 2nd and 3rd graders "dream of running away", how many plan it out with a friend, steal a parent's credit card, pack food & clothes and then run away? I really doubt that is what you and your husband did as kids, at least not at that young age.
You think kids can't figure out they need some food and clothes and money and pack a bag? Sure they can. I had a whole diary and checklist of stuff I would need (this phase was probably later when I was older), and we even thought we might steal the neighbor's horses so we could ride up into the hills. My mom's feelings were hurt when she found the diary, but she didn't decide we needed to be institutionalized. We were probably grounded for awhile.

Kids rebel against limits! Always have, and always will. That's nothing new. Freaking out and putting them into counseling for it is new.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 04-14-2018, 10:58 AM
 
4,215 posts, read 3,001,133 times
Reputation: 4030
Therapist. No more walking home.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diana Holbrook View Post
You think kids can't figure out they need some food and clothes and money and pack a bag? Sure they can. I had a whole diary and checklist of stuff I would need (this phase was probably later when I was older), and we even thought we might steal the neighbor's horses so we could ride up into the hills. My mom's feelings were hurt when she found the diary, but she didn't decide we needed to be institutionalized. We were probably grounded for awhile.

Kids rebel against limits! Always have, and always will. That's nothing new. Freaking out and putting them into counseling for it is new.
I think most of us at some point planned running away as kids. Not many of us acted on it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-14-2018, 11:07 AM
 
9,498 posts, read 6,629,150 times
Reputation: 16526
I wanted to run away when I was VERY young. Younger than 8. I would beg my cousin to run away and she said "I like living here". It was a romantic notion of ... whatever. I don't know why.

Again my standard answer - put her on a horse. Get her away from anyone she can influence and/or bully. Horses don't put up with that mess. Get her straight now dad.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-14-2018, 11:22 AM
 
Location: Dfw
274 posts, read 33,391 times
Reputation: 242
You are trying yo stay on track and discipline her but mom won't be on your side so that's issue1. Daughter plays favorites. 2 stop asking who's to blame. Your daughter has her own personality and she's very bad bully and she needs help..mental help.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-14-2018, 12:09 PM
 
Location: Rochester, WA
2,792 posts, read 1,363,207 times
Reputation: 7385
Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat View Post

Again my standard answer - put her on a horse.
Can't argue with this. It gives her the freedom and strength and independence she seeks that is real and authentic and much better than time spent with a counselor blowing very normal feelings out of proportion.

Horses are good for young girls. Maybe young boys too, but I'm most familiar with me, at that age.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-14-2018, 12:12 PM
 
14,619 posts, read 12,363,472 times
Reputation: 31421
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Why are you looking for who to blame? Its time to get help from a child psychologist.


https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine...hopath/524502/

This us a tough read, but you need to be aware of all the possibilities. A child psychiatrist's evaluation is a must here.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-14-2018, 12:27 PM
 
Location: Austin
6,905 posts, read 16,138,263 times
Reputation: 8978
I tried to run away when I was 6. I packed my bag and was ready to go. I looked out my window and had forgotten the landscaping was rocks. I didn't want to land on the rocks. It took me years later to understand that you don't have to go out a window to run away. I could have walked out the front door, but didn't understand that at the time.

I sat in my room for a long time trying to figure out a way to land on rocks without getting hurt. Mom made Mac 'n Cheese, and all was better in the world.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-14-2018, 12:46 PM
 
Location: Bloomington, IL
11,506 posts, read 5,926,799 times
Reputation: 25961
Others are concentrating on the running away....I'm more concerned about her very aggressive/violent behavior with classmates and her lying and lack of concern and empathy. Sounds like early sociopathic behavior and THAT is what you need to see a child psychologist for. Not a "therapist" - but a full-blown PhD psychologist.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-14-2018, 01:03 PM
 
1,371 posts, read 532,177 times
Reputation: 5178
I agree with the others in that you need to seek professional help and parent counseling. You and your wife are sending mixed messages and you need to be on the same page.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-14-2018, 01:09 PM
 
9,784 posts, read 5,840,558 times
Reputation: 22333
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine...hopath/524502/

This us a tough read, but you need to be aware of all the possibilities. A child psychiatrist's evaluation is a must here.
I couldn't make it through the whole story...but I wouldn't jump to psychopath. Sure, there are traits mentioned here that match. But psychopathology is rare. The article totally glossed over the girl's childhood trauma.

RAD or other attachment issues, anxiety, depression, early childhood trauma, bi-polar, adjustment disorder, etc are all much more likely. And treatable.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2017, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 - Top