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View Poll Results: What is the obvious main problem?
Dad 0 0%
Mom 3 11.54%
Bad parenting in general 5 19.23%
Other 18 69.23%
Voters: 26. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-14-2018, 08:22 PM
 
608 posts, read 319,572 times
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Also, when you talk to the professional....I would tell them who was the instigator of this little run away, as it could have implications.

And I'd encourage both girls to find new friends for awhile.
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Old 04-14-2018, 08:53 PM
 
3,323 posts, read 3,259,105 times
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Until the 70's (Etan Patz disappearance), it was normal for kids 8 yrs old to walk to and from school together in groups, without a parent. Nowadays no longer normal for that age. But that doesn't mean it's a good thing that kids are so overprotected.

Anyway, this girl is showing signs of being a sociopath. It's not known whether therapy will help or not. Some kids grow out of it. Often, there are family members who were/are sociopaths. Some feel that therapy only seems to help sociopathic children learn how to better get away with it, by teaching them appropriate behaviors that they can use to blend in, and conceal their sociopathic acts.

If she were mine, I'd call the nearest children's hospital and ask for a referral for a psychologist that deals with severe behavioral problems in young children, including sociopathy. Do NOT take her to a child psychiatrist. This sort of issue needs a psychologist, not a psychiatrist.
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Old 04-15-2018, 03:35 AM
 
1,819 posts, read 1,983,515 times
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We can attempt to do our best for our children but in the end they are separate individuals responsible for their actions. They do not have the right to destroy our lives.
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Old 04-15-2018, 06:46 AM
 
Location: State of Denial
1,664 posts, read 769,992 times
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I "ran away" at about 7 or 8. I packed my little cardboard suitcase with my favorite sweater and two pairs of underpants and off I went with the intention of walking to my grandparent's house, which was several miles away.


Unfortunately, I wasn't allowed to cross the big street a couple of blocks from my house. I stood there for about an hour, trying to get up the courage to cross before finally giving up and skulking home, where I hid in the wellhouse (yuck....spiders and bugs and other stuff) for a while. I could peek out the door and see my family sitting down to dinner and NOT OUT SEARCHING FOR ME! So, for lack of anything else to do, I went back inside. It was years later that I realized my mother knew where I was all along.
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Old 04-15-2018, 07:50 AM
 
Location: Dallas, TX and Las Vegas, NV
5,072 posts, read 3,770,509 times
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I also ran away at age 8 or 9. Its really not that unusual.

Finding out who to blame is not the issue here because its not one thing. You are loving parents doing your best. She’s a bright, challenging child. I truly believed my granddaughter at ages 3-10 was a psychopath. She’s turned into a really caring, sweet person but was a bully and a brat as a youngster.

Your child needs something she’s not getting. It may be medical, social or better parenting skills. Your job is to find out where you can support her childhood to the best of your abilities. Have her evaluated; get a recommendation from the school guidance counselor. From there you’ll discover what other things you might do such as supplement her life with certain activities and work on your parenting skills as a couple. You are doing your best. You just need some tools and skills. Be grateful this happened. Its a wake up call.
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Old 04-15-2018, 09:11 AM
 
3,266 posts, read 2,335,410 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
If you feel that way then I assume that you allow your children, age six and seven, walk to and from school unsupervised. Do you? (Or more likely, did you?)
I'll answer, I did in the 80's/90's and two of my grandchildren walk unsupervised today. It depends on the area.

I love that they live close enough to the school (CA) and that the majority of the children walk.
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Old 04-15-2018, 09:34 AM
 
Location: NC
4,529 posts, read 7,034,062 times
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Op - hopefully you have insurance that will cover a psychological work up. If not, then the March of Dimes is a wonderful organization and resource. Your child is not bored, but in need of evaluation ASAP. Meanwhile, although this was not mentioned, I would not let her be around younger children without 100% supervision as I have concerns related to her bullying and where that stems from. And I would not allow her to walk to/from school alone. If you don't nip this in the bud, hormones may soon kick in and I would not want to be in your shoes.... sorry.


I wish you all well. You are right to be concerned and willing to take action.
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Old 04-15-2018, 09:56 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
72,655 posts, read 64,111,757 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
It is extremely unusual for an eight year old to run away, and even more unusual for them to have a planned exit (with a bag packed with food & clothes & a credit card). Please ask your pediatrician for a referral for a good child psychologist or child psychiatrist. You will probably also need family counseling and education on parenting so that you and your spouse work together on rules, behavior and consequences.

This probably will not be a "quick fix" but may take months, even a year or two, for your family to get back on track.
Yeah, OP, I must say, that I would have sought out a psychologist from the start of the bullying behavior at school. It seems all this acting out is coming from left field, considering that she appears to be a happy child, no discord in the home, etc. Except for that one factor; you and your wife have unwittingly trained her to be manipulative. Still, that doesn't explain the bullying.

Get professional help for her, and for yourselves (parenting classes are a great idea), ASAP.
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Old 04-15-2018, 10:00 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
72,655 posts, read 64,111,757 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
While I am sure that some 2nd and 3rd graders "dream of running away", how many plan it out with a friend, steal a parent's credit card, pack food & clothes and then run away? I really doubt that is what you and your husband did as kids, at least not at that young age.
Actually, it used to be a meme: the kid with his little bundle hanging from a stick carried over his shoulder. The Peanuts comic strip featured it from time to time; Linus would "run away" from time to time, only to return after a few hours, feeling defeated, realizing he needed home and hearth.
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Old 04-15-2018, 10:50 AM
 
3,266 posts, read 2,335,410 times
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OP, I also agree with getting her evaluated by a psychiatrist/psychologist.

The lack of remorse is worrisome.
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