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Old 04-24-2018, 01:24 PM
 
4,682 posts, read 4,471,235 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Wow that's nuts.
+1 on that. OP, don't be nuts.
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Old 04-24-2018, 01:36 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn
34 posts, read 9,478 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Wow that's nuts.
I agree 100%. It's unfortunate that they have us putting pressure on our kids at this age just so they don't end up in a terrible school. What happened to letting kids be kids? But cutting back on screens isn't necessarily a terrible idea anyways, IMO. I'm just trying to find that middle ground.
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Old 04-24-2018, 02:06 PM
 
4,682 posts, read 4,471,235 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrooklynDad85 View Post
I agree 100%. It's unfortunate that they have us putting pressure on our kids at this age just so they don't end up in a terrible school. What happened to letting kids be kids? But cutting back on screens isn't necessarily a terrible idea anyways, IMO. I'm just trying to find that middle ground.
"They" aren't the ones. You are.

The pressure will get much worse if your kid goes to a "great" middle school. Is that what you want for your kid? Keep perspective.

Best of luck.
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Old 04-24-2018, 03:06 PM
 
4,107 posts, read 1,723,204 times
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One suggestion that worked for my grandson. He had to earn minutes to play games. The gist was....he could get a dollar for a chore or convert it to 15 mins of play time. Sometimes he was saving up for a game ...so he took the allowances. Other times he opted for the 15 mins. He would be maxed at 2 hours in a weeks time. They had the console on smart app control. So it turned off after a set time.
He often tried to sneak using his kindle but my son put a blocker on it.
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Old 04-24-2018, 03:59 PM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
9,720 posts, read 2,696,417 times
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I have s 9yr old and 12 yr old. Bottom line, homework, reading and chores come first. As long as they are doing good in school and not rushing through it, then they can have some tech time during the week.
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Old 04-24-2018, 06:07 PM
 
Location: Kalamalka Lake, B.C.
2,789 posts, read 3,574,859 times
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Grade FOUR?? I was building pretty cool mud forts by then. Fortunately, my tendency to build with mud wasn't HARD WIRED INTO MY BWAIN at that early an age. ..........Wait.....I built high-rise concrete condos. Damn mud fort hard wiring. It's all the fault of grade four. WhY didn't my parents stop me??
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Old 04-24-2018, 06:27 PM
 
Location: Texas
579 posts, read 443,807 times
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Skip all the “try and see”. No weekdays. Only weekends (includes Friday). My son did exactly what you are afraid your son will do. That is, he rushed through homework so that he could play. Oh btw, my son is an avid reader as well. He reads every night for about an hour before he goes to bed.


Some kids like my oldest son have a more addictive personality. My younger two have no problems unplugging but my oldest needs limits.

Btw, my sister’s son who is similar to my son had no restrictions on weekends. He is in his 20s. All he does is play play play when he is not working. He is addicted.
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Old 04-25-2018, 06:09 AM
 
1,863 posts, read 2,513,752 times
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There's getting homework done and then there's getting homework done right. The key is teaching them to be proud of their work so they check their own work and know that when they hand it in, it is the best effort. Same with studying for tests. If they want to be proud to hand you an A or a 100 or whatever, they'll study the proper amount in order to do so.

And then, they can get some screen time. However, the trick is teaching them to "own their work" and doing in a manner that they are proud it is done right.

What I wrote above is how I was. I got my work done and then got my screen time.

I'm still tackling this issue with my kids. I don't know the right thing to do yet. For now, they are limited to some time on their Kindle Fire FreeTime. Honestly, I find it miserable. I feel like they play together so much better when they get no screen time than when they do. However, there are some worthwhile things to learn from a screen - at times. And they shouldn't be completely deprived of it. As long as I see their screentime as not just a "break from parenting", I'm ok with it.

It would be a slippery slope otherwise.
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Old 04-25-2018, 07:34 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn
34 posts, read 9,478 times
Reputation: 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayerdu View Post
Skip all the “try and see”. No weekdays. Only weekends (includes Friday). My son did exactly what you are afraid your son will do. That is, he rushed through homework so that he could play. Oh btw, my son is an avid reader as well. He reads every night for about an hour before he goes to bed.

Some kids like my oldest son have a more addictive personality. My younger two have no problems unplugging but my oldest needs limits.

Btw, my sister’s son who is similar to my son had no restrictions on weekends. He is in his 20s. All he does is play play play when he is not working. He is addicted.
Thanks, Jayerdu. I think my son may have a lot in common with yours. You think the key difference between your oldest son and your sister's was the weekday video games?


dspguy - It really does seem to affect their behavior when the screens go off, doesn't it? When they get some screen time, I think the subsequent dopamine drop puts them in a bad mood. It seems to have a lot in common with other addictions.
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Old 04-25-2018, 08:55 AM
 
Location: STL area
498 posts, read 255,791 times
Reputation: 856
Homework first and while my 5th grader doesn't get grades really, he needs to keep his work up to standards. Then, he can play. My 7th grader is a straight A student and plays on a competitive sports team. As long as he keeps things the way they are, I don't police his screen time either. He has so little time for it anyway and is not much of a gamer (he's more into sports...screen time, watching sports, free time...taking shots on his hockey net, etc.) so this has not really been difficult with him. That said...I can see it being an issue with my 1st grader in the future. We have had to take his away for a while already.

I know some families who do no screen time during the week and it works for them. It seems like overkill in our house with our older kids. I want my kids to have downtime and if that's what they choose, I'm fine with that. With the weather being nicer, they choose to play outside more. In the summer they choose to spend a lot of time in the pool. As long as their work is getting done and they are getting some exercise, I don't see the point to restrict screen time to weekends in our house. (but I reserve the right to change the rules for said 1st grader as he gets older...he's a very different kid from my first two).
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