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Old 05-01-2018, 03:38 PM
 
Location: planet earth
2,198 posts, read 773,014 times
Reputation: 5069

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File a missing person's report.

Post on her FB for her to contact you, asap.

You DON'T know if it is her responding.

Ask the police what to do when you file the report. Don't hesitate any longer. This is not normal behavior.
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Old 05-01-2018, 05:53 PM
 
Location: Cape Cod/Green Valley AZ
745 posts, read 1,901,303 times
Reputation: 1657
Quote:
Originally Posted by nobodysbusiness View Post
File a missing person's report.

Post on her FB for her to contact you, asap.

You DON'T know if it is her responding.

Ask the police what to do when you file the report. Don't hesitate any longer. This is not normal behavior.
The problem is, the young woman is not missing. She voluntarily left the home of her mother for some unknown reason. There is nothing the police can do to help you in this situation.

Rich
(41 years law enforcement; +20 NYPD +20 Chief of Police small Cape Cod town)
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Old 05-01-2018, 06:31 PM
 
12,493 posts, read 14,351,126 times
Reputation: 13735
It's not really independence if it's funded by your bank account.
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Old 05-01-2018, 07:19 PM
Status: "Rain rain go away!" (set 20 days ago)
 
Location: 11235
1,229 posts, read 390,787 times
Reputation: 2463
Part of exploring your independence is living within your means - NOT within your mother's means. She is getting an unrealistic picture of what true independence is like.

As someone else said, end the free dips into your savings. Let her work and live according to her pay scale.

She wants to stand on her own two feet. That is truly admirable. Let her know how proud you are of her, when she calls to find out what happened to the access to your money.

I would have so much fun with this, you just don't know, lol.
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Old 05-01-2018, 07:30 PM
 
3,564 posts, read 1,508,833 times
Reputation: 10333
Quote:
Originally Posted by RichCapeCod View Post
The problem is, the young woman is not missing. She voluntarily left the home of her mother for some unknown reason. There is nothing the police can do to help you in this situation.

Rich
(41 years law enforcement; +20 NYPD +20 Chief of Police small Cape Cod town)
+1.

Absolutely nothing police can do.
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Old 05-01-2018, 08:53 PM
 
3,927 posts, read 3,270,679 times
Reputation: 7695
It would be nice to lay eyes on her. Anyone with her phone could be texting or telling her what to text or even say on the phone. Sounds to me like she is very naive young person under the influence of a boyfriend.

But I'd want to be sure it was not something more nefarious...like said boyfriend turning out to be a pimp.

The whole theft thing is more than alarming. Why did she think she was entitled to take your money/cards? And did she say anything that would indicate she knew it wasn't correct, like I will pay you back? The credit bureaus freeze on your identity as suggested would be very wise, so new cards aren't issued in your name. I would track her with credit cards usage & not cancel those.

I'd hire an investigator & also someone to decipher her digital presence...phone, email, & any social media & dig deep in any computers left behind. There is a trail.

I hope you find her soon. I'd imagine you can entice a meet with promise of bringing money to help her start out.
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Old 05-01-2018, 09:02 PM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
764 posts, read 440,781 times
Reputation: 2073
This whole thing has scheming dominant grifter fingerprints all over it. Here is one variant, and it is not something made up. This really happened--not from a Lifetime movie:

Older guy meets girls online. Plural. Girls don't know each other or ever meet. Guy has girls open accounts in girl's name. He gets the debit card and only makes ATM withdrawals. His name is never on the account. He doesn't care how the girls fund the account, all he does is take the same amount, leaving the girl something to keep her trust.

He claims to be a truck driver or a traveling salesperson. Only shows up enough to string the girl along and prove their relationship is blooming into something great...just weeks or months until he has enough cash to settle down.

He has 6-7 girls doing the same thing. He is pulling down $1800-2100/month.
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Old 05-01-2018, 10:45 PM
 
Location: planet earth
2,198 posts, read 773,014 times
Reputation: 5069
Quote:
Originally Posted by RichCapeCod View Post
The problem is, the young woman is not missing. She voluntarily left the home of her mother for some unknown reason. There is nothing the police can do to help you in this situation.

Rich
(41 years law enforcement; +20 NYPD +20 Chief of Police small Cape Cod town)
I respect you and your experience, but in my neck of the woods, despite the circumstances, you may file a missing persons report if do not know a family members whereabouts or suspect there may be a problem.

This is NOT a normal 18 year-old leaving the nest.

There is no reason NOT to file a missing persons report.
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Old 05-01-2018, 11:20 PM
 
6,247 posts, read 4,615,236 times
Reputation: 8311
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow View Post
I agree that she most likely met a guy online. I hope it's a legitimate romance and not something more sinister. Keep the cards open but limit how much she can charge or withdraw so that she can buy a bus ticket home if needed. And keep her phone bill paid so she can call you.

So sorry this has happened and hoping for the best possible outcome.
A legitimate romance LOOKS like a legitimate romance. You date, you have friends in common, you're on Facebook together, you brag a little about your partner, the guy pays for stuff at least half the time, you meet the parent(s) - over the phone if in person is too far away.

I am worried about this situation, especially because you said your daughter has social anxiety; she may think her online boyfriend (if that is the case) is a way to start over or her last hope, something like that.

Keep the credit card accounts open!
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Old 05-02-2018, 05:21 AM
 
3,040 posts, read 6,206,645 times
Reputation: 2030
I'm surprised people are saying to keep the credit cards open. It seems like it is enabling the behavior. Also how is it helping to get her home or where she is. If anything the more money she has the longer she will be away. Even if she is with some guy.

Next time you speak to her state how worried and unfair it is. How would she like it if you disappeared and she didn't know where you are.
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