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Old 05-02-2018, 09:37 PM
 
35,508 posts, read 17,721,198 times
Reputation: 50484

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Quote:
Originally Posted by RichCapeCod View Post
The problem is, the young woman is not missing. She voluntarily left the home of her mother for some unknown reason. There is nothing the police can do to help you in this situation.

Rich
(41 years law enforcement; +20 NYPD +20 Chief of Police small Cape Cod town)
Yes she is, she's missing.

I'm a little surprised that a cop with your years of experience doesn't know what a "missing" person is.

She voluntarily left, with no way to support herself, only having stolen an amount of money from her mother to sustain herself for a little while. At the age of 18.

That's "missing". And when we turn our backs on this missing people and refuse to use resources to locate them, they often end up dead or permanently "missing", for like, 50 years +.

When cops decide someone isn't "missing", they're quite often wrong, with deadly consequences.

Maybe you've never had a family member go missing, Rich, and I hope it never happens to you.
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Old 05-02-2018, 09:41 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,853 posts, read 35,020,721 times
Reputation: 22693
Quote:
Originally Posted by Missdallasamy View Post
I feel like my heart has just been broke.
Up until 3 weeks ago we were a fine single family. Father deceased 10 years ago.
Just me and her. THen about 3 weeks, She began stealing mt debit card #'s (JUST found that out.0
She lied about working at the mall (I dropped her off and picked her up-she doesn't drive)

3 days ago she CLAIMED to was going out of state for a work conference in VA (LIE), just so happened to check my banking account and there was a airfare charge and airbnb. Called the companies, and they confirmed my daughter charges this to MASS. She only took a backpack and didn't pack toiletried and I think she only has 1 pr of shoes. It was well calculated, but she didn't pack what she needed.

She took her id, SSN, and BC. She claims she is not going out to the country, but every word is a lie.

She stated she needs to explore her independence, and has leased a place (SOMEWHERE) and has plenty of cash (from my acct), and not to worry

She won't give me any answers of what she is doing, claims, she is 18 I don't have to tell you.
She WILL reply to my texts, but after about 10 hours.

She just finished a semester at college with a 3.7 (so she claims- could be a lie, but stuck to this story for 34 months.

She was due a stipend, but if she was still attending.

No friends, she has had a social anxiety FOREVER.
I don't think she does drugs....she took classes online and I was always home. She doesn't like needle, has nasal issues, so wouldn't snort anything.

I just so worried. Being, she is 18, I guess there is nothing i can do legally, just wait to see if comes clean and PRAY she doesn't meet foul play.

I just needed to vent.....
I would turn her lying little butt into the cops and press charges for theft. Don't let her get away with disrespecting you.
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Old 05-02-2018, 10:20 PM
 
16,579 posts, read 20,618,921 times
Reputation: 26860
Some people see this as a disciplinary issue where the daughter is disobeying the OP's wishes and needs to be taught a lesson. Others, including me, see this as a situation where the daughter has been duped into stealing from her mother and running off with a stranger who most likely intends to do her harm.

If it were my daughter, I'd make sure she knew I was there for her and I'd make sure she had a phone and access to enough money to come back home when she wants to.
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Old 05-02-2018, 10:54 PM
 
8,085 posts, read 5,203,115 times
Reputation: 22680
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
Yes she is, she's missing.

I'm a little surprised that a cop with your years of experience doesn't know what a "missing" person is.

She voluntarily left, with no way to support herself, only having stolen an amount of money from her mother to sustain herself for a little while. At the age of 18.

That's "missing". And when we turn our backs on this missing people and refuse to use resources to locate them, they often end up dead or permanently "missing", for like, 50 years +.

When cops decide someone isn't "missing", they're quite often wrong, with deadly consequences.

Maybe you've never had a family member go missing, Rich, and I hope it never happens to you.
Say what? Nope.

This is an adult...that VOLUNTARILY left. "No way of supporting herself" means nothing. She has every right to leave home. The police aren't babysitters for adults that leave home of their own, free will.

Please share your knowledge of "wasted police resources" on adults who leave home.
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Old 05-03-2018, 12:41 AM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
9,512 posts, read 6,028,584 times
Reputation: 28830
Everything seems so incongruent with this.

A teenager who is not on social media? How would she meet someone online? You have access to her email; start looking through her folders, confirmations for joining webpages, her sent emails, her trash folder, drafts. Everything.

How long do your computers retain the history? I’d go as far back as you can. Watch for YouTube, if it is on the history, watch the videos she was watching. Google her email user name. Google her phone number. Google your own address. Kids her age are primarily using Snapchat right now & one of its features is a “find friends†app; it literally tracks the user.

Most kids use a cell phone for SC but if she had access to an iPad or tablet she could have been using that too. Check the saved photos. If she uses a pre-paid phone, she probably had to access your WiFi. Can you check the data usage for clues?

Don’t just track your cards by phone; get on your online banking & you would know exactly where she is per the ATM numbers.

A kid with social anxiety was boosting? Except she didn’t steal what she sold, she stole the money to buy it from you? Boosting requires a fair amount of networking; not a situation for those with social anxiety.

Opens 3 bank accounts then leaves before the cards came? What about the PIN?

Good grief; it almost sounds like she is being radicalized.
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Old 05-03-2018, 02:42 AM
 
11,025 posts, read 7,765,221 times
Reputation: 23700
Quote:
Originally Posted by WVREDLEG View Post
This is most likely. The money scheme was orchestrated by the guy. She gives him the cash. He has not done anything illegal--she is the perpetrator and the victim. Perfect crime. He remains in the shadows.
This is a very sexist posting. It is equally possible that she met a woman online who has her looting the mother's accounts. There are at least half a dozen similar posts here even though the OP has made no reference to any man but did mention a mysterious woman who may have posed as the daughter's boss.

Last edited by kokonutty; 05-03-2018 at 02:55 AM..
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Old 05-03-2018, 07:10 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn
48 posts, read 35,069 times
Reputation: 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by Missdallasamy View Post
She doesn't use Fb, as far as I know. She would log onto mine. I did send her a text with a question only she would know and it anwered it correctly.
I'm thinking outside the box here, and I certainly wouldn't recommend doing this unless you legitimately think she's in danger, but she has her own e-mail address that you have access to, correct? If she was up to something online, it's doubtful that she would have used your social media accounts. If you think she is in danger, you might consider going to some popular social media or dating websites and use the "Forgot Password" function. Since you have access to her e-mail, you might be able to see what she was getting up to. I really wouldn't recommend this unless you're extremely concerned for her safety, however.
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Old 05-03-2018, 07:22 AM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
30,702 posts, read 79,413,686 times
Reputation: 39425
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Siegel View Post
(1) If she has traveled from some other place to Seattle, she is alive. (2) She might get tired of being used as a sex toy, source of funds, or whatever and decide to charge a bus ticket home, which is not possible if you don't have the money so you just continue being a sex toy etc. (3) The police or a P.I. will want to know as much as possible and a credit card trail is very good information.

I have plenty of money but not all that many daughters I can spare.
1. Not necessarily. It only means your credit card has traveled to a different place. She may or may not be with it. 2. Cutting her off will bring her home sooner than funding her problems indefinitely. What ever badness she may be involved in, funding it is not helping. If that is the concern, send her a greyhound gift certificate. 3. The police are not going to get involved in a an adult daughter going off and living her life as she chooses. There is no evidence of any crime whatsoever. Are you really going to hire a PI? To what end? That simply makes no sense. You do realize for a matter like this, if she has left the state, you will spend $50,000 or more and they may not even find her.

One day you may get a tearful call from her. She is in real trouble and if you do not send $50,000 to this account, she will be killed. If you send the money she will definitely come home right away. You will refinance your home and send the money and do not hear from her again for six months to a year when you get another tearful call, she and/or her boyfriend have spent all the money on drugs or booze (that part will not be said) but if you send $20,000 more they will let her come home- she is sooooo sorry - etc. Once you empty your bank accounts and lose your house, she will stop calling. She is stealing from you. Lying to you. Everything she tells you from here on out will be lie to get more moeny from you.
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Old 05-03-2018, 08:14 AM
 
19,399 posts, read 12,043,004 times
Reputation: 26118
The stolen money you give her access to could be her undoing. Cancel all cards now. If she has a buddy using her for money, the buddy will be gone if the money is gone.
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Old 05-03-2018, 08:16 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, Texas
4,287 posts, read 7,992,562 times
Reputation: 3938
Quote:
Originally Posted by RichCapeCod View Post
I was a homicide detective while in the NYPD. We had one case, casually referred to as the "second base case" due to the fact that a human torso, sans arms, legs, head and a good deal of its innards was found by a man walking his dog in the Bronx Botanical Garden. The detective catching the case contacted Missing Persons, who looked at their files for individuals following the same general physical description of the torso (the Medical Examiner, based on the size of the torso, came up with a general height/weight/age description of the victim).

Missing Persons had three people reported in their files that were a general match. One had had a bad back. The Medical Examiner compared the X-rays from the physician's office that person had gone to with the victim's and a match was made.

Rich
I find it amazing how investigations take place and how evidence can come from the most unlikely leads. Absolutely amazing. Great job by the Medical Examiner, and by the NYPD! A lot of clever policing going on lately, especially with the Golden State Killer being caught by DNA websites and genealogy research. Absolutely laudable!
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