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Old 05-04-2018, 07:47 PM
 
Location: Queens, New Yawk
8,382 posts, read 4,405,489 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by upsadaisy View Post
Thatís really sad. I canít insgine being sad if I had a new baby. I would feel so happy. But I know some women just get depressed and donít feel like themselves. So awful. My mom also had bad depression always after she gave birth
Everyone thinks theyíll be blissfully happy. But hormones and brain chemistry sometimes have other plans.
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Old 05-04-2018, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Dallas, TX
238 posts, read 656,084 times
Reputation: 281
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ginge McFantaPants View Post
Everyone thinks theyíll be blissfully happy. But hormones and brain chemistry sometimes have other plans.
Exactly. It's a hormonal, medical issue that postpartum women have absolutely no control over. The medical component is exacerbated by the societal expectation that women are able to "pull it together" and get back to work and normal life immediately after giving birth, and the fact that so few women have any sort of real postnatal care or social support structure. How ridiculous is it that you take the baby to the pediatrician for a check up a couple of days after birth, but the mom doesn't get a check-up covered by insurance for SIX WEEKS? If it hadn't been for a fantastic lactation nurse at my pediatrician's office who gave generous hugs and was basically a counselor for postpartum moms, I don't know how I would have coped.
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Old 05-04-2018, 08:02 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
83,030 posts, read 95,670,363 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scooby Snacks View Post
That was a sweet article that was very short on statistics. It did not give the#1 cause of maternal mortality.
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Old 05-05-2018, 04:12 PM
 
Location: Erie, PA
1,642 posts, read 623,390 times
Reputation: 3389
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ginge McFantaPants View Post
Everyone thinks theyíll be blissfully happy. But hormones and brain chemistry sometimes have other plans.
I had also expected to be happy but was severely depressed; I had never experienced anything like it previously and have not experienced anything so intense since.

I spent most of my days crying and not wanting to get out of bed. I had thoughts of wishing that I was dead. I never actually actively thought of ending it all but thought that it wouldn't be so bad if something happened to me.

It was horrible. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

The other new mothers were decidedly unhelpful towards me. They told me that something was wrong with me and I must not love my daughter since I was not happy.

I finally went to my doctor and he put me on Zoloft for postpartum depression. It was like a cloud lifted.
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Old 05-07-2018, 12:19 PM
 
541 posts, read 201,857 times
Reputation: 2134
That's really sad, but not surprising. I can't speak for other cultures, but I think American moms generally don't have enough support. A new mom may be on maternity leave, but chances are her husband and everyone else she knows is busy working. It's very lonely and isolating to be stuck in a house by yourself all day. Throw in lack of sleep, breastfeeding around the clock and PPD and it's no wonder so many women struggle.
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Old Yesterday, 03:34 PM
 
25 posts, read 7,870 times
Reputation: 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie Joseph View Post
I had also expected to be happy but was severely depressed; I had never experienced anything like it previously and have not experienced anything so intense since.

I spent most of my days crying and not wanting to get out of bed. I had thoughts of wishing that I was dead. I never actually actively thought of ending it all but thought that it wouldn't be so bad if something happened to me.

It was horrible. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

The other new mothers were decidedly unhelpful towards me. They told me that something was wrong with me and I must not love my daughter since I was not happy.

I finally went to my doctor and he put me on Zoloft for postpartum depression. It was like a cloud lifted.
I had a very similar experience twenty three years ago. In fact, when I was pregnant with my daughter, I had thoughts of ending the pregnancy because I was so incredibly depressed. This was a baby I wanted-- I was married to a man I love, had a good job, etc., but by week 9 or so I was ready to jump of a cliff. And it only got worse. Once I gave birth, it was like I was in a fog. Didn't care about anything. Couldn't get out of bed.

When I saw a doctor, I was told that some women "don't adjust well to motherhood" and given a book to read about how to bond with your baby. Luckily my husband is a physician as well (I am a nurse anesthetist but was still studying at that time) and he encouraged me to see a female colleague of his. I actually went through some therapy and got meds.

The experience was so awful for me that we didn't try to have another baby.
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Old Today, 11:59 AM
 
1,806 posts, read 1,969,003 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SparklesNShine View Post
That's really sad, but not surprising. I can't speak for other cultures, but I think American moms generally don't have enough support. A new mom may be on maternity leave, but chances are her husband and everyone else she knows is busy working. It's very lonely and isolating to be stuck in a house by yourself all day. Throw in lack of sleep, breastfeeding around the clock and PPD and it's no wonder so many women struggle.

That's why I went back to work, you get out of the house.

A lot of mothers are chastised for going out and about soon after having a baby, but more women need to do that. It's draining caring for kids 24/7 you need time away.
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