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Old 05-05-2018, 12:06 PM
Status: "one of the wettest from the standpoint of water" (set 29 days ago)
 
Location: Denver CO
18,932 posts, read 9,971,795 times
Reputation: 27692

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How nice that people think they get to decide the one and only path that women are allowed to follow.

If you choose to not have a child later in life, then don't, no one is making you. Keep your nose out of other women's lives, they are none of your business.
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Old 05-05-2018, 12:09 PM
 
Location: The analog world
15,502 posts, read 8,700,597 times
Reputation: 20786
Quote:
Originally Posted by suitcasemom View Post
I think this is where our generation has gone wrong. The ideal age to have children is 20-30. anything above that is not a good idea. and not safe or healthy.
Oh good God! Not safe or healthy? Plenty of women have great pregnancies and perfectly healthy children in their thirties and beyond, including me. Both of my husband's grandmothers had babies in their forties, and one of my grandmothers did. It's a sign of overall health and longevity when a woman can conceive and give birth, especially in the absence of fertility support, in the forties and beyond. BTW, all three of those women lived well into their nineties.

Last edited by randomparent; 05-05-2018 at 12:26 PM..
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Old 05-05-2018, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Houston, TX
13,038 posts, read 7,337,524 times
Reputation: 27058
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrooklynDad85 View Post
I mean, guys have been having kids in their 50s for forever now. It only seems fair that women should too, if science has made it safe! I understand a woman's desire to progress in her career before starting a family.
This. Not only that, it's so freaking expensive to live nowadays that it's hardly surprising that people can't afford to raise kids until they're nearly in the grave. People will be judged for anything, apparently. It takes time, sometimes decades to become financially stable. If people have children before then, they are judged for not having enough money to raise them properly. If they wait until they are much older, they are judged for being too old to raise them properly
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Old 05-05-2018, 12:35 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,071 posts, read 13,715,666 times
Reputation: 36706
I'd rather see a happily married 50 year old woman have a child than some irresponsible 14 year old/teen- who no doubt would be dependant on the government/state/taxpayers to pay for her goof.
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Old 05-05-2018, 01:11 PM
Status: "Autumn!" (set 26 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
84,898 posts, read 98,651,125 times
Reputation: 31324
Quote:
Originally Posted by randomparent View Post
Oh good God! Not safe or healthy? Plenty of women have great pregnancies and perfectly healthy children in their thirties and beyond, including me. Both of my husband's grandmothers had babies in their forties, and one of my grandmothers did. It's a sign of overall health and longevity when a woman can conceive and give birth, especially in the absence of fertility support, in the forties and beyond. BTW, all three of those women lived well into their nineties.
Both of my grandmothers had all three of their kids in their 30s, ending in their later 30s. This was over 100 years ago for my paternal grand, who actually had her own dressmaker's business before she married. My maternal grand started close to 100 years ago. She worked on the family farm.

There is some research that women who conceive naturally in their 40s are more likely to live longer. Of course, my MIL stopped at 29 and lived to be 98!
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Old 05-05-2018, 01:12 PM
Status: "Autumn!" (set 26 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
84,898 posts, read 98,651,125 times
Reputation: 31324
Quote:
Originally Posted by CGab View Post
"One in 100 women will start to experience the frustrating symptoms of early menopause before they turn 40."


5 Reasons Why Some Women Go Through Early Menopause - Health



In my opinion 1 and 100 is a lot of women! If you wait to have kids till you're in your 40's it might not be possible.
You are correct, but there's nothing in that link about early menopause being more common now than in years past.

Ms. Duckworth's body was obviously able to support two pregnancies, one in her 40s, and this one at 50. I'm happy for her.
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Old 05-05-2018, 02:05 PM
 
Location: Superior, Wisconsin
4,762 posts, read 503,774 times
Reputation: 678
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherTouchOfWhimsy View Post
Iím 40 and my kids are teenagers. I could not imagine starting with a new baby now. My main concern with a 50-year-old having a baby is that they have a decent chance of not being around for their childís high school or college graduation, wedding, etc. Yes, I realize I could die tomorrow and not see my kids graduate, but the chances are much higher for someone nearing 70.
This is, to me, the most important point of all, which I'm surprised nobody else has raised in this discussion.

I was born in 1987, and my mother conceived me naturally at the age of 44. I was born a month before her 45th birthday; I am the youngest of 6 children. My nearest sibling (by age) was born in 1970, 17 years before me, and my mother miscarried 4 times in between her birth and mine. My oldest sister, my mother's first child, was born in 1962, 25 years before me. (My father was 49 when I was born.)

Thankfully, my parents were able to attend my high school and college graduations, but it wasn't without a great deal of hardship, physically, for both of them. They now live in a retirement community in Florida, and my mother is not capable of getting on a plane. If I should ever get married, I have to accept the fact that my mother will not be able to attend unless I get married in Florida within a short drive of her residence. If I were to have children after that, I have to accept that the only way my children will ever be able to see their grandparents is if I take them to Florida; it will never even once be the other way around.
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Old 05-05-2018, 03:01 PM
 
126 posts, read 63,403 times
Reputation: 217
saying a woman shouldnt have kids beyond 30 is a little ridiculous. Beyond 42 is where it becomes questionable to me
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Old 05-05-2018, 03:53 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,071 posts, read 13,715,666 times
Reputation: 36706
Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveC1024 View Post
This is, to me, the most important point of all, which I'm surprised nobody else has raised in this discussion.

I was born in 1987, and my mother conceived me naturally at the age of 44. I was born a month before her 45th birthday; I am the youngest of 6 children. My nearest sibling (by age) was born in 1970, 17 years before me, and my mother miscarried 4 times in between her birth and mine. My oldest sister, my mother's first child, was born in 1962, 25 years before me. (My father was 49 when I was born.)

Thankfully, my parents were able to attend my high school and college graduations, but it wasn't without a great deal of hardship, physically, for both of them. They now live in a retirement community in Florida, and my mother is not capable of getting on a plane. If I should ever get married, I have to accept the fact that my mother will not be able to attend unless I get married in Florida within a short drive of her residence. If I were to have children after that, I have to accept that the only way my children will ever be able to see their grandparents is if I take them to Florida; it will never even once be the other way around.
This is a very good post and perspective.
It serves to remind us that with anything, there are trade offs and concessions.
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Old 05-05-2018, 04:03 PM
 
Location: planet earth
2,743 posts, read 977,124 times
Reputation: 6338
It's ridiculous, for many reasons. One: She will be a senior citizen when her kid graduates high school. Will probably not get to be a grandma.

Nature has designed women to be most fertile as teens up to twenties.

People are stretching it to try to have kids in their thirties.

If you need IVF, you are basically going against nature (which I understand some people insist upon doing).

Nature is smartest, though.
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