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I don’t have an issue with women who biologically conceive in their late forties to early fifties, and they definitely are some (I know a handful). Assisted or surrogacy at older ages is a different kettle of fish.
By the time mine were 10 or so, I couldn't imagine having another one either. I think that happens no matter what one's age. A college friend of my husband's had his in his 40s. When we got a birth announcement I said "Would you want to be starting a family now?" to which DH replied, "No, but he didn't do it when we did (in our 30s), it's all new to him". It was a good perspective.
Yes, so true. I feel exactly the same. My youngest is 13 and I would never ever ever want to start over again (I'm 48).
On the other hand, I have two good friends who had surprise late pregnancies, one at 45 and the other at 46. Everything went well, babies were/are healthy and everyone seems happy, so good for them.
I mean, guys have been having kids in their 50s for forever now. It only seems fair that women should too, if science has made it safe! I understand a woman's desire to progress in her career before starting a family.
Exactly, so what's the issue with a 50 something woman becoming a mother? I fail to se the difference.
Tammy Duckworth used IVF to conceive her first child when she was 47, after experiencing fertility issues likely related to the injuries she received while fighting in Iraq. She used it again, with remaining embryos for this child. I personally find her age somewhat irrelevant, although it does of course contribute to all that she's been able to accomplish in her life up until now - it would be tough to fit all that in without having lived 50 years so far.
As someone who had my only child at 42, I think like pretty much everything in life, there are pros and cons about having children later in life. I certainly had less energy at 42 (and now in my 50s with a young teen) than I did in my 20s and 30s. On the other hand, I'm establishing in my career and able to earn enough to support myself and my son as a single mom while working a very flexible schedule, something I could not have done a decade or two ago.
But I think women having children in their late 40s and into their 50s will remain a statistical blip and not become commonplace. It almost always requires expensive fertility treatment (sometimes but often not paid for via insurance) and many people who know they want kids have them earlier. However, for those who want and are in a position to have children later in life, I'm glad that it's an option.
Most politicians have kids at older ages (think late thirties rather than early early thirties) than most people. Tammi Duckworth was in the military and of course she went to college and law school. She didn’t have the time.
And there’s always the possibility that a couple was told that they couldn’t conceive children and...surprise! You’re pregnant!
I’m 36 now, and I don’t know if I could have the energy to have 3 kids starting now let alone when I’m in my 40s or older.
The only thing that matters is that kids are born into loving families. For some people that happens when their 16, 25, 33, or 49.
If you have a lot of love to give, and you WANT to, and can care and provide for a child...ANY age is OK.
Well, there are a lot more risks associated with having a child over the age of 35 I believe. As a woman gets older the statistics raise that there could be a problem with the baby, such as being born with down syndrome and it's just overall dangerous for a woman. As a woman gets older her hormones change and there's a significant chance she will miscarry.
Just like another poster said, I had my kids in my mid 30's, couldn't imagine having one now in my 40's! I do know many though who conceived in their early 40's, but not late 40's or 50's!
I'm always a little bit puzzled when this discussion comes up, because I don't think that it's ever in the sense of talking to someone who is, say, 20, laying out their life, thinking, "When should I have children? Oh, 50 sounds good." Plenty of people want to have children, but for whatever reason, it doesn't happen when they're in their thirties. So, if you reach 45 or 50 years old, and you've wanted children, but never had them, there is no time machine to go back and have them at 30. The question becomes whether the have the children or not to have them.
I wanted to have a baby when I was 30. (Actually, I myself really started wanting one around 28, but my husband wasn't quite there.) But, it didn't happen. We adopted a baby when we were 35 and then I had a baby when I was 40. My kids are now 13 and 8. I kind of wish they were each 5 years older -- if I'd had them when I was hoping to have them, they'd be about 18 and 13. I'm 48 now, and I have many friends whose children are off to or graduating from college, and in some ways that seems really nice. But, I've got an additional 5 years before I have to pay for college. And we certainly wouldn't have been able to afford many of the things we have or can do for them.
I also have plenty of friends who have children even younger than mine. It is what it is. Sure, it's harder to have children when you're older, and there may be less time with grandparents, etc -- if my son doesn't have a kid until he's 40, I wouldn't be a grandmother until I'm 80 (if my older son doesn't have one before then). But, again, I didn't have a choice.
Well, there are a lot more risks associated with having a child over the age of 35 I believe. As a woman gets older the statistics raise that there could be a problem with the baby, such as being born with down syndrome and it's just overall dangerous for a woman. As a woman gets older her hormones change and there's a significant chance she will miscarry.
Just like another poster said, I had my kids in my mid 30's, couldn't imagine having one now in my 40's! I do know many though who conceived in their early 40's, but not late 40's or 50's!
This is going to sound harsh, but you don't get it. Ms. Duckworth didn't have kids in her 30s or early 40s. She was having different experiences at those ages, some not so good. She's been wounded in battle. She's doing now what you did in your mid-30s.
As far as risks, I'm sure her doctors were well aware of her high-risk pregnancy status. There are tests that can be done for Down Syndrome. And she didn't miscarry, did she?
I don't think it's a "thing". It's something women have been doing for a long time, frankly. But unless they're celebrities or other public figures, no one's noticed. Back in the 80's/early 90's, I knew a couple of women who had a child at 50/51. It was a second or third marriage for them, they married younger guys who wanted a child, and these happened to be women who thrived on pregnancy. Some women get high off the hormonal cocktail their body's rushed with during pregnancy. They each had a healthy kid at 51. The moms both looked really young for their age. So, they're almost 70 when their kids go to college, so what? Men have been fathering kids deep into middle age and beyond since forever, nobody makes a fuss, much. These women both had young, energetic husbands who could keep up with the kids as they grew, and offer plenty of help, as the women moved through their 60's.
It's not a choice most women would make, nor would have the option to do. But for those exceptional cases, whose life circumstances put them in the position to have a child late in life, and who can pull it off, who are we do judge?
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