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Old 05-07-2018, 06:30 PM
 
606 posts, read 316,990 times
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This is totally normal.

We tend too have mostly parent friends now, I was kinda judgy too until I had kids.

I'd probably cut the one who couldn't handle seeing a 3 year old off though, she sucks.
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Old 05-07-2018, 08:57 PM
 
2,054 posts, read 1,315,773 times
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I wouldn't say it's judging or can't handle, it's different interest. Some people are interested in talking about sports while others will have mild interest in the subject but doesn't want it too much cuz it's not there thing or time yet. For example, when I was single I found my friends talking about struggle of being married & adjustment uninteresting. But when I was engaged that's all I wanted to hear and learn about. Before I listened to them but didn't really enjoy those conversation & didn't care to have them often. But when I was at that phase I found the same topic much more interesting.

Just like when I met with few friends who were in medical school where the conversation revolved around hospital politics/doc life, the non medical friends in the group found it uninteresting and excessive. Unfortunately by the times OP friends are interested in life of toddler or babies OP will be pass that stage & interested in school. That's life, we can't all be in same page at all time. Sign of strong friendship is to recognize differences & find common ground thru that
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Old 05-08-2018, 06:00 AM
 
11,223 posts, read 9,203,270 times
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I changed my work schedule when my son was a baby from full time to part time. A friend's girlfriend loved bad mouthing me for sitting home eating bon bons at the time. Stupid <expletive>. I smiled and nodded on those rare occasions I had to hang out with her. Everyone knows better than the parents. Pfffffft.
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Old 05-08-2018, 06:45 AM
 
2,962 posts, read 2,860,797 times
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Quote:
Friends with no kids... are they being judgmental?
I think it is a universal truth. Let them walk a mile in your shoes. I was one of the first in my circle of friends to have kids. And they had their moderately insulting remarks at times. When they had kids, we could laugh about their ignorance together. For the ones that didn't have kids, well they just stay judgmental forever.

One of my family members is the worst. He's been judgmental since my kids were born. We were on vacation once - him, my parents, his wife, her parents, etc. And I got to talking to his in-laws about "kid stuff." They seemed to engage in the conversation nicely. It was common ground for us - being parents and all. Had some laughs, etc. And my judgmental family member pretty much told me point-blank that "no one wants to talk about your kids." Well, that wasn't the judgmental part, but it had come to a head.

Even to this day, he's still judgmental. I just learned to deal with it, but since he never intends to have kids, he won't ever come around.
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Old 05-08-2018, 08:39 AM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,464,598 times
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I do have to add that other moms and dads can be even more judgmental then people who don't have kids but think they know it all. Those are the friends you really don't need in your life. I can give a pass to people who don have kids but know it all...I might have been a tiny bit that way in my teens and early 20s
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Old 05-08-2018, 08:53 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
12,975 posts, read 7,167,085 times
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I'm in the let it go crowd. It's difficult to understand what it's like to be a parent if you have very little experience with kids. I know in my younger years I detested baby sitting and wanted very little to do with kids. I never had any of my own, but, over the years I collected quite a few shorties I've grown to love kids but that only came with maturity. Just laugh off the comments because your friends were there for you when it was really important. Sometimes a harmless tease can be taken the wrong way. Don't ruin your friendships over it.
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Old 05-08-2018, 09:48 AM
 
Location: Central IL
13,286 posts, read 7,065,424 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherTouchOfWhimsy View Post
Just wait til they have kids... then they will know the truth. I, too, was the perfect parent before having children.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harpaint View Post
Just smile and say "I'll be sure to remind you of that statement when you have your own kids."
Yes, parents love to throw that back in people's faces....but there will be a bunch of those people who'll NEVER have kids and just might believe that they have the last laugh! Parents like to pull everyone into the mire to share all their blessings but mostly the bad stuff - but lots of people choose to be kidless.
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Old 05-08-2018, 10:43 AM
 
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We dealt with some of that when our kids were little. We also had friends who did not have kids yet. One in particular liked to try to tell us and another friend who had small children how we should be parenting and was judgemental. She liked to tell you how you should be disciplining and talking to them and all that good stuff. I just told her I couldn't wait until she had kids of her own so I could get me some chuckles. Sure enough, she had a little boy and he was a hellion. She found out right quick that "time out" and all those silly Dr. Phil type things don't work with some children as they are all different and have different attitudes. It was a blast watching her try to deal with him and she got to see my smirk multiple times. lol Their day is coming, just sit back and wait and enjoy it when it happens.
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Old 05-12-2018, 01:14 PM
 
3,746 posts, read 2,892,606 times
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I dont see any of that as being judgmental. Mentioning the 2 different socks...I think thats just funny. I hope you laughed it off, because face it, it is funny.

And as far as someone not particularly wanting to spend time with a young child? Thats not judgemental at all, its just how she wants to spend her time. Not everyone thinks spending time with a 3 year old running around is fun.

Not judgmental, just choosing how they want to spend their time. They are being honest with you. I had a few friends with kids when I was much younger, and had no interest in spending time with them and their toddlers. I wasnt judging, just choosing what I wanted, or didnt want, to do.
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Old 05-12-2018, 09:19 PM
 
Location: Mill Boulevard, yes that's right!
536 posts, read 264,389 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carnivalday View Post
I dont see any of that as being judgmental. Mentioning the 2 different socks...I think thats just funny. I hope you laughed it off, because face it, it is funny.

And as far as someone not particularly wanting to spend time with a young child? Thats not judgemental at all, its just how she wants to spend her time. Not everyone thinks spending time with a 3 year old running around is fun.

Not judgmental, just choosing how they want to spend their time. They are being honest with you. I had a few friends with kids when I was much younger, and had no interest in spending time with them and their toddlers. I wasnt judging, just choosing what I wanted, or didnt want, to do.
Yeah. The sock thing is a little weird but this one isn't being judgemental and the friend doesn't "suck". Just prefers not to spend her free time with a toddler.

As far as all the "just wait until they have kids" comments, not everyone wants to do so, you know.
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