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Old 05-04-2018, 03:49 PM
 
Location: Alabama and Ohio
170 posts, read 74,249 times
Reputation: 341

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Im 29 yrs old, I have one child , a 3 year old. My very close friends all do not have kids yet, which is fine. When I initially told my friends of my pregnancy they were ecstatic helped me with almost EVERYTHING imaginable. I love my friends and Its not weird me being the only parent, but my only concern is they can be slightly judgy at times which is a peeve for example last week I visited my friends who are twin sisters, one of them noticed my son had on mismatched socks ( I couldn't find the other one in the suitcase and was in a rush so I was winging it) so she made a comment jokingly, but I could tell she was judging me as well. So I made a remark to her telling her "I hope once you have children , you have it all together".

Another example is one of my friends called while visiting the twins and she made a comment saying the reason she hadn't came to visit either cause she knew my son would be there and it would be too much for her to want to deal with... I lowkey felt insulted. He is 3 what do they expect? Hes not a nuisance , or throwing tantrums all over the place, but he is still at a toddler. Im not expecting them to understand personally how I feel until they have their own children, but I still wonder am I overthinking things. I haven't said anything to them personally about how I feel, but was wondering should I say anything or just let it go?
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Old 05-04-2018, 03:57 PM
 
1,001 posts, read 1,668,155 times
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Let it go. No point in ruining the visit. Take comfort in knowing that if they have kids, they too will realize mismatched socks are the least of your worries. It's just not worth the battle.
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Old 05-04-2018, 04:03 PM
 
415 posts, read 249,058 times
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I would let it go, but I would try and find friends that had toddlers so you could do toddler friendly things with people that understand that lifestyle. I would do things that didn't involve your child with your close friends. It may be hard but you are at different stages of life. Kind of like when everyone is single and that one friend gets married. You can no longer do the same things as when everyone is single. Don't take it personally, they just don't know and won't know or understand until they have kids. Having a child changes everything and this is one of the things it is changing. You sound like a normal parent with a normal toddler by the way...
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Old 05-04-2018, 04:20 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,308 posts, read 15,610,852 times
Reputation: 38238
Quote:
Originally Posted by reebo View Post
Let it go. No point in ruining the visit. Take comfort in knowing that if they have kids, they too will realize mismatched socks are the least of your worries. It's just not worth the battle.
Good points.

BTW, did you realize that mis-matched socks are a fashion statement for children? They even sell mis-matched socks as pairs of socks in high end stores (at least they did a few years ago),
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Old 05-04-2018, 04:22 PM
 
Location: Alabama and Ohio
170 posts, read 74,249 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Good points.

BTW, did you realize that mis-matched socks are a fashion statement for children? They even sell mis-matched socks as pairs of socks in high end stores (at least they did a few years ago),


Lol Yes but they were completely different one was all red, the other was like black with pink, blue and yellow stripes
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Old 05-04-2018, 05:00 PM
 
Location: Florida
3,886 posts, read 2,977,731 times
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Just wait til they have kids... then they will know the truth. I, too, was the perfect parent before having children.
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Old 05-04-2018, 05:08 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,380,736 times
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I wouldn't really say anything to them unless they were rude to your son or excessively rude. But you might look for more "mommy" friends if you don't have any. They are such a blessing when you have little ones.
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Old 05-04-2018, 08:13 PM
 
5,567 posts, read 3,184,539 times
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Just smile and say "I'll be sure to remind you of that statement when you have your own kids."
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Old 05-04-2018, 09:36 PM
 
Location: Santa Monica, Ca
5,563 posts, read 3,081,073 times
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I would have said.. "Oh you like his socks? He has another pair just like them at home. "
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Old 05-05-2018, 10:12 AM
 
482 posts, read 391,452 times
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It's a different kind of visit if it's you with your child vs just you. Can't blame them if this is not the kind of day they want and it's not that they are judging. I have certain friends that I won't take a walk with if they are bringing their dog because it's too slow and too much about the dog but I will be happy to have a morning walk sans the pet Kind of the same thing - only a little worse really.
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