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Old 05-06-2018, 08:44 AM
 
Location: here
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Homework should not be punishment. You need to figure out why he is getting bad grades and fix it.
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Old 05-06-2018, 10:50 AM
 
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I think instead of punishment that maybe you should look into rewarding him for good behavior. If he does his homework and makes decent grades, he gets a reward.

I'd also look into the sudden change in behavior. Have his eyes and hearing checked to make sure he see and hear the teacher. Make sure he isn't having problems with other kids. Also, make sure it isn't a problem with the teacher.
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Old 05-06-2018, 11:45 AM
 
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OP:

The things you listed should have been the norm in your household since kindergarten and before. Parents are responsible for taking an active role in their children's education and that means at home, too. Also, it means a lot to children when their parents (or other caregivers) sit with them to help them, encourage them and simply show a true interest in them learning and comprehending the material.

Keep up with requiring your child to do "schoolwork" at home, even in the summer. If children were read to and read to themselves from a young age most of them LIKE to read. Best wishes!

Last edited by rainydayparis; 05-06-2018 at 12:03 PM.. Reason: r
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Old 05-06-2018, 12:36 PM
 
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Google "When does doing homework hurt more then it helps" and there is a bunch of nicely balanced pieces written on the subject of homework.
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Old 05-06-2018, 12:51 PM
 
Location: Greenville, SC
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Why are you framing this as a punishment? Watching TV and playing videogames are privileges -- and you're making them something the child earns rather than a God-given right. And not performing well in school is a problem to be solved, not a transgression that requires punishment.

But before I set limits, I'd talk to the child and find out why he thinks he's getting bad grades. Ask your son what he thinks would help him get better grades - you might be surprised by the answers. Make him a participant in figuring out the problem and coming up with solutions. If it appears that earning privileges as a solution to the problem is the way to go, discuss it with him. Fifth grade is old enough to make him an active participant in solving his problems -- and you'll be helping him learn a valuable skill he'll need to use for the rest of his life.
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Old 05-10-2018, 11:56 AM
 
Location: NC
6,363 posts, read 4,454,846 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
It's not that it's too harsh.

It's that you are making something helpful into a punishment. Homework is not supposed to be a penalty, and you don't want him to grow up thinking it is. He NEEDS to do homework to supplement his classroom learning, and using it to penalize him could cause him to develop an aversion to it.

Besides, y'all need to look at the root of the problem. WHY are his grades bad? If the work is too hard or he doesn't know how to study, he doesn't need to be punished. He needs HELP.

If he's too focused on playing video games, limit those, and get him the kind of help to build his study habits. Then his grades will improve.
I agree, but only sort of...


Homework should not be a punishment, but it is something that needs to be done, and it's part of the child's responsibility.

I would say the punishment is fitting, but I would characterize it differently. In fact, I would not call it a punishment.

I would say something like "your grades are very important, and so is your social time and fun time. It seems you are having a hard time prioritizing all these things. In order to help you get your grades up, we are going to try this (the father's plan, homework first). Once you have gotten your priority commitments out of the way, it will free you up to do whatever you want, within the guidelines of whatever other family rules we have."

in otherwords, instead of positioning it as a punishment, position it as a path to freedom and choice.

Furthermore, you can say that this will be done for 30 days. If, at the end of 30 days, there has been a marked improvment, we will ease up on the requirement. If you (child) can maintain your grades, you will have proven you can handle the freedom and will get more of it. If your grades start to slip, we'll go back to managing your time more restrictively because results are important.



Make everything about actions and consequences. Goals and acheivement. If your child doesn't get to have enough screentime, it's not a punishment, it's a natural consequence of HIM not doing what he needed to do. Parents set the guidelines and outcomes, child has full power to live up to it, or make their own consequences.
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Old 05-10-2018, 12:00 PM
 
Location: Greenville, SC
4,025 posts, read 3,257,680 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Myghost View Post
... In fact, I would not call it a punishment. ...

in otherwords, instead of positioning it as a punishment, position it as a path to freedom and choice.

Furthermore, you can say that this will be done for 30 days. If, at the end of 30 days, there has been a marked improvment, we will ease up on the requirement.
Exactly.
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Old 05-10-2018, 01:54 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
38,889 posts, read 37,573,430 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Myghost View Post
If, at the end of 30 days, there has been a marked improvment, we will ease up on the requirement.
Why "ease up" on a requirement, especially if it's, as you said, "something that needs to be done, and it's part of the child's responsibility"?

It reads to me like we are advocating the same points: Homework before video games, stop calling it "punishment."
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Old 05-11-2018, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn
48 posts, read 22,627 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rainydayparis View Post
Also, it means a lot to children when their parents (or other caregivers) sit with them to help them, encourage them and simply show a true interest in them learning and comprehending the material.
I agree with rainydayparis here. My guess is that the reason they're getting bad grades isn't because they understand how to do the problems but need more practice; it's that they don't understand how to do the problems. Sitting with them and helping them comprehend the material and the steps to solve the problems should be the first thing to do. Only then should they be tasked with practicing what they've learned. Wasting their time by having them struggle over a worksheet is simply that: a waste of time. They need to understand the steps required to solve the problem and then practice them until they're comfortable doing it without you on a test.


I don't think it really matters whether you seat it as "punishment" to us, but to your child you should simply seat it as helping them learn the material and get their grades up, that being a possibly boring, but overall positive thing.


I would also avoid using reading as a punishment. If kids have books that interest them, they'll start wanting to read those books naturally. If they perceive that as a punishment, then I suspect they'll be less likely to pick one up in their spare time.


If you want to punish your kid, I would do it outside of the educational context. Cut back on their screen time or something. Don't use education as a punishment.
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