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Old 05-09-2018, 10:23 AM
 
1 posts, read 663 times
Reputation: 10

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So, my best friend n I got a house together. She has two kids whom I love like my own neice n nephew. I've been around alot since they were born. They are both so intelligent, and they are, for the most part, good kids.

She split with their dad, and she works a low paying job to support them. I work alot and consequently am not home often.

These kids run over her. The youngest, in kindergarten, won't do her schoolwork. Andi (the mother) was dragging the youngest across the room trying to get her dressed for school. The oldest throws tantrums sometimes so bad he leaves marks on his mom.

I believe in spanking children responsibly. It should be sudden and sturdy. But i feel like I'm out of line when I want to discipline them. And I wouldn't even know where to start.

I come from a home where the children were focused on school work and disciplined responsibly. We never fought with our parents until late in highschool and for the most part, did what we were supposed to do.

I'm not saying my household was great, but we all ended up hardworking, responsible adults who do reasonably well at everything we try to do.

I love these kids. I want them to be successful and have satisfying lives. I dont know what to do, or if I should do anything at all.
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Old 05-09-2018, 10:26 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
10,802 posts, read 18,572,189 times
Reputation: 24901
You can't spank someone else's children, even if they're your roommates.

Your roommate needs to ask her son's pediatrician what to do about the tantrums.
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Old 05-09-2018, 10:43 AM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,380,736 times
Reputation: 23701
Mind your own business. Don't hit children. You don't know what she is dealing with.
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Old 05-09-2018, 12:22 PM
 
Location: Central, NJ
2,282 posts, read 4,766,451 times
Reputation: 2820
You're renting, I hope? Stay out of it.
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Old 05-09-2018, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
14,117 posts, read 20,310,541 times
Reputation: 19686
Spanking isn't the issue. These aren't your kids, you need to stay out of it.
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Old 05-09-2018, 04:39 PM
 
Location: here
24,402 posts, read 28,466,710 times
Reputation: 30774
I don't think most parents spank anymore. It's been shown to be detrimental. You absolutely may not spank someone elses kids! Don't even think about it. This is your best friend? Had you not spent any time around her kids before you decided to move in together?
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Old 05-09-2018, 04:46 PM
 
583 posts, read 244,453 times
Reputation: 2415
Personally, I'd stay out of it. People generally don't appreciate unsolicited parenting advice and it really isn't your place to discipline your friend's children. If the situation becomes unbearable you can always opt not to renew a lease with her.
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Old 05-09-2018, 04:51 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,316 posts, read 15,619,740 times
Reputation: 38258
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
You can't spank someone else's children, even if they're your roommates.

Your roommate needs to ask her son's pediatrician what to do about the tantrums.
I agree. Your room mate also needs to work with the teachers and school on the homework and school related issues.

I bet that if the oldest child is physically violent against his mother (leaving marks/bruises), he is also having behavioral problems at school.
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Old 05-09-2018, 05:01 PM
 
Location: New York NY
4,104 posts, read 5,868,303 times
Reputation: 8586
Are these kids doing anything to make your life uncomfortable? Are they bothering, disturbing, or hurting you (or your belongings)? If so, I would talk to the Mom specifically about that and how to control/end the children's behavior insofar as it affects you personally. You are the roommate and live there so I think that would be a valid concern. But beyond that, you don't have a horse in this race. Stay out of it. And as others have said, do not hit other people's kids. Even if Mom says you can, in this situation it's a really bad idea.
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Old 05-09-2018, 05:06 PM
 
Location: North State (California)
25,928 posts, read 2,052,457 times
Reputation: 9197
Is this a romantic relationship or just room mates? If you have long term romantic ideas with her, then you definitely need to be on the same page & ask her to talk to drs & teachers etc. If it is purely economic arrangement, steer clear.
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